I Feel Good

Remember I was telling you guys and gals that my manager was pissing me off by fucking up my name. Well today I got to hit her in the face with a PIE. Not figuratively, literally.

This morning was our beginning of the fourth quarter meeting. We got a new store director so he wanted to introduce himself and give us the "things are gonna be different around here" speech. Okay cool.

Right before the meeting started they had us reach into a bag and grab a slip of paper. The paper was either blank or had a smiley face on it. I got a slip of paper with a smiley face. Later on in the meeting they said that we were going to do a little role playing and that's why some of us had the smiley faces, we would be the actors. Alright fine whatever...you bastards drag me out of the house on my day off at the crack of dawn for this bullshit...is what I was thinking.

The meeting is over and then they announce that the smiley faces really mean you get to toss a pie in the face of any manager you choose. I was like REALLY? To tell you the truth I didn't want to do it...I didn't want to have a horrible schedule for the rest of my time there. But she (my manager) was like, "C'mon you can throw one at me." Exactly the person I wanted to get. Now that's fate/karma/and most importantly God.

I got that pie and everybody was cheering, "Get her Millie, follow through, make it good." So I drew that pie back a good distance and got her smack in the face SPLAT! The cream flew everywhere. The new store manager is right things are definitely going to be different around there. In case you haven't notice dude (store manager) is cool as hell and funny.

Needless to say I feel good in the Mad Real World.

I Gots Her Figured

Alright I figured out why the new girl is trippin'...wait let me tell y'all what happened today first.

I'm chillin' in the break room. I hear "Millie come to register 5" or so I think, there is a girl named Lilly (hence my manager sometimes calling me Lilly, I guess, we look absolutely nothing alike) so usually when they call either of our names we both go up front cause we can never tell which they are saying. Anywho...I go up front and the new chick is having a hard time with a gift card. I show her how to do it.

Now this is important
She asks me "What do I do with the gift card now?"
I said, "Since it is empty and there is no more money on it you throw it away."
She says, "Okay."

Lilly walks up, she asks Lilly, "What do I do with the gift card after they have used it up?"
I look like What The Fuck?... Bitch! Didn't I just...
Lilly tells her, "You throw it away if there is no more money on it."
Lilly walks away.

Maria walks up we chat about her kids and the mandatory meeting Sunday morning and guess what the new girl says, "Excuse me I'm new here (no shit dumb-ass) and I was wondering what do we do with the gift cards after the customer is finished using it and there is no more money on it?"
Maria says (everybody say it with me) "You throw it away."
The new girl says, "Oh okay I wasn't sure what to do with it."

This bitch is unbelievable. What the fuck hoe? Why would I lie? If you thought we didn't know the answer to that question then why the fuck you ask you damn monkey ball bitch? This is the type of shit that will get my ass sent to prison. I hate that shit. She must be fucking retarded. I wanted to bash her head in with one of them major league home run swings and use a good metal baseball bat to do it...yea Sox! Be on some Action Jackson shit...asks her ass "Why ju lookin' for Poppa Dock?" Then hit her ass in her gut.

Anyway, I have noticed that she knows all of the male co-workers names and acts differently when they are around. That's when I figured her out. She is just a bitch looking for some male attention. She feels the rest of us (females) are a threat. I hate to tell that hoe she ain't in no competition with me. I got her ass faded ten times over. They must didn't tell her ass she was working with a pimp, then again someone probably did tell her ass, they just need to tell her 2 more times and maybe then she will get it.

Bitch get a clue, any clue in the Mad Real World.

Alright These Bitches Are About To Piss Me Off

Is is just me or maybe I am over reacting, my best friend would say over reacting as usual, but is the continual fucking up of someone's name a sign of disrespect?

Peep this shit, I've been working at my current job for about a month and a half, my manager continues to fuck up my name. Now I understand that when you first meet someone you will forget or jack up their name but after a months time, give me a fucking break. She calls me Nilly, Lilly, Nomalah, Nelly and all types of other shit. Now I understand that not everyone can get their mouth to say Namelia (I'm lying I don't understand that shit, haven't these muthafuckas heard of Amelia Earhart, the most famous fucking female aviator in history, well put an "N" in front of her name and you have mine you dumb sons-ah-bitches) I told everyone at work that they could call me Millie. I suppose this is why I get called Nilly and Nelly, she is taking the N from my first name and attaching it to my nickname. What the fuck?

Okay whatever...but last night she called me Lilly and I don't know what the fuck that was about. My brain then went into Busta Rhymes/Spliff Star mode..."Yo is she dis-re-speckin you? Yo she dis-re-speckin' you. FlipMode Baby!"

To top that shit off the new girl...she is even newer than I, keeps calling me all type of shit, she has called me Missy, Nelly, and my favorite Aye Girl. I'm like STOP THE MUTHAFUCKIN' PRESSES. These puss ass hoes are about to blow me. Its fucking Millie, its not rocket science, GOTDAMN! None of my male managers or co-workers have a problem with saying Millie. My girl Tami even calls me Namelia.

Now my question to my fellow bloggers is...
Is the repeated fucking up of someone's name a true sign of disrespect? If not what is it? I believe there is a hidden meaning to it. Let me know what you think.

I'm not gon' be playin' with these broads much longer in the Mad Real World.

The Fact Is...

I don't feel pretty if my eyebrows aren't arched properly.

Everything could be in order, underwear matching, hair flawless, rims spinnin' everytime I stop...lol...but if my eyebrows are not right I don't feel right. I don't feel on top of my game.

Now check this out my underwear could not match, my hair could be jacked, and even if my rims couldn't or wouldn't spin, if my eyebrows are in order none of that would matter. Eyebrows trump all that ish for me, but eyebrows don't trump being clean.

I can't help myself I must AimHigher in the Mad Real World.

This Shit Ain't Happened Since High School...Part Two

To fully understand what's going on please read part one first.

My mind began to race I couldn't believe what she just said.

NameLiar: "Tami, you shittin' me, right?"
Tami: "Nope. I'm for real."
NameLiar: "Quit playing Tami, no you didn't."
Tami: "Yeah I did."
NameLiar: "Tami why would you do that?"
Tami: "Let me tell you how it all happened."
At this point I couldn't stop laughing from pure disbelief...you know that laughter that happens when someone does something to you and you say to yourself I can't believe this shit is happening to me. That is exactly what I was thinking as she told me what she had done.
Tami: "You know we got a shipment in this morning, and Alex was helping me put phones away."
NameLiar: "Okay."
Tami: "So I asked him, Alex do you have a girlfriend? He said no."
NameLiar: "Alright that is harmless, you got the info for me that is good but how..."
Tami: "Then he asked why did I want to know, I told him someone has a crush on you. He asked is it a product specialist? I told him I won't say what department she works in, since its only Lillie, you, and I who are product specialist. But then he said he already knew who it was."
NameLiar: "What?"
Tami: "Yeah he said he knew who it was already. So I asked him who and he said Millie."
NameLiar: "Stop lying Tami."
Tami: "Girl I am not lying."
NameLiar: "How in the hell did he know it was me."
Tami: "I don't know how he knew but I told him yep it is Millie."
NameLiar: "Damn Tami you didn't have to agree."
I started laughing again and she laughed as well.

My mind began to race. I was totally unprepared for this. Oh man what am I gonna do now. I thought he was cute I wasn't sure if I really liked him or not now he thinks that I am hot for his drawz or some shit. God I hope he doesn't turn into an asshole. Get a big head and shit. Okay think NameLiar think...now what, she has basically blasted you out of water and your cloaking devices are no longer working.

It was time for me to punch in and head out on the floor, where Alex would definitely be. (Swallow) As I headed to the computer to clock in, I couldn't type in my work id number my hand was shaking really bad. I was thinking what the fuck is wrong with me? One of my co-workers stopped me and asked if everything was alright. I told him yes, then no. He said is it something personal, I think he was referring to PMS or something. I told him no. Is it something sexual? No. I don't pay him any attention he is the store's overly horny dude. I was finally able to clock in and I headed towards the DVDs.

I developed a temporary solution to my problem. I would avoid Alex until I could gather my thoughts. That worked for the first 2 hours of work and then it became impossible. A gay couple came in looking for Adventures in Babysitting. I told them I knew exactly where it was because I loved that movie as well. We were laughing and talking about the movie and other bad movies. I had actually forgot about what happened earlier. As the gentlemen were telling me that I was a great help and that they had enjoyed talking to me, Alex walks pass. I saw him and thought, "Thank God I'm helping them out because I'm busy, so I don't have time to talk to Alex." Just as I had that thought Alex stopped and started talking to Tami.

No! Don't talk to Tami she has said enough already...lol. Damn he was waiting for me. Don't leave me now my new found gay buddies. "See you around Millie," one of the guys said. "Okay guys see ya next time."

I took a deep breath and walked toward Alex and Tami.
Tami: "Hey Millie." She smiles with that look in her eyes like look who has found you.
Alex: "Hey Millie." He is smiling as well.
NameLiar: "Hey Alex." I smile and give Tami a look.
Alex: "Millie are you just getting here?"
NameLiar: "No I have been here for a while...a couple of hours."
Alex: "Oh what time did you get in?"
NameLiar: "Ummm..." My brain goes completely blank y'all I couldn't remember what time I came in...Oh shit I can't remember. I don't have the slightest idea. "What time did I get in?"
Alex: "Yeah." He starts to laugh.
NameLiar: "I can't remember. I honestly can't remember. I don't have the slightest idea. Tami what time did I come in?"
Tami: "Girl, you got here at like 11:50."
NameLiar: "Yeah 11:50, like she said."
Alex laughed again.

Luckily a customer saved me further embarrassment by saying "Excuse me, can you help me find..." I was like, "Sure." and got the hell out of dodge.

I can't believe that my mind went completely blank. I'm a pimp this shit doesn't happened to me. I always have something slick to say, some fly ass line to throw at a nigga but then again he isn't a nigga.

Okay I need some advice on how to handle this situation...help me out people...I can't keep avoiding him. Any ideas will be given serious consideration.

I should have just keep my big mouth shut in the Mad Real World.

This Shit Ain't Happened Since High School

There is this guy at work. His name is Alex. I think he is cute. He's Mexican, Puerto Rican, and Cuban. He is the manager of one of the departments at the job. He started speaking to me about 3 weeks ago. I didn't know his name when he first started speaking. So it would go something like...

Alex: Hey Millie, how's it going? *Smile*
(Millie is my nickname, I let them use it at work so they won't jack up my name one of my black managers calls me Nilly and then says I mean Millie....that shit irritates my inner ass hole...I wanna fuck her ass up)

Nameliar: Hi, its going smoothly. No complaints. *Smile*
I smile at everyone at work...they think I am the most friendly person in the world...I am tho'...but anywho, since I didn't know his name I just said, "hey"...fuck it...I didn't know who the hell he was at the time.

So finally I grew tired of saying hey to this dude without knowing his name so I asked one of my co-workers. His name is Alex she said, I thought cool Alex, I can remember that. Anyway, finally I knew who this dude was. We often end up in the break room at the same time. He has asked me a ton of questions, he asked what was my ethnic background...I looked at him like he was crazy. Sometimes the yellow skin and the curly hair confuses people. I told him I was just a regular old black girl with the IQ of 133...lol...I left that part out. He asked me if my name, Millie, was short for Milagros, which is a Spanish or Hispanic name...I told him no. He told me that his little sister's name is Milagros and they call her Millie. I thought how cool...this story is getting long...

Anywho I asked another co-worker if Alex had a girlfriend, he said he didn't know. I told my homie at work, Tami that I thought Alex was cute. She was so excited...I was like calm down I think he is cute but I need to find out more info on him...I'm in recon mode right now. Tami stated that she thinks that I should try and holla at him. I was like slow down young blood...I am a pimp I can't just be hollering at fools all willy nilly...I have to make sure I really like him first. Really I was just afraid of the rejection plus he is one of my superiors at work...that could cause problems if it goes wrong.

I told Tami we will see what happens.

I get to work Friday. I enter the break room...
Tami: Ooo Millie guess what I did today?
NameLiar: What?
Tami: I told Alex that you had a crush on him.
NameLiar: WHAT!?! WHY??
*My mind went blank at this point, I started sweating and my cheeks began to blush from embarrassment.*

You wouldn't believe what happens next in the Mad Real World.

Today's Fact

I picked a job where I don't have to think much. The thinking they do require me to do I barely do. When they ask me if I know how to do something I play dumb. They say, "AimHigher do you know how to..." I say, "No. I sure don't would you mind teaching me?"

Today one of the guys asked me if I wanted him to show me how to count...Well what he said was, "Do you want me to show you how I do it...it goes much faster." I was dying from laughter in my head and thought Mexican please I've been counting longer than you've been living...but I said, "Sure." LOL

Well there you have it I play dumb just for the hell of it...I obviously have nothing better to do. LMAO!

I refuse to AimHigher...while at work, in the mad real world.

Is That Right...

I was sitting in my room contemplating life and the meaning thereof and remembered something I read a couple of years ago...

"The prostitutes said that most men needed to know what the pimps knew. A woman should occasionally be babied enough to show her the man had affection, but beyond that she should be treated firmly. These tough women said that it worked with them. All women, by their nature, are fragile and weak: they are attracted to the male in whom they see strength."

I hate to say this but I agree with that statement...well most of it. You can kiss my ass on that weak shit, but I like to be treated firmly. I don't want no puss ass nigga. I hate to hear a man bitch and moan they sound just like...well a bitch. Save all of your whining for your therapist. Don't get me wrong a little sharing of the feelings and what's going on with you isn't bad, but don't be a cry baby all the damn time. I don't want to hear that shit, straight up. Its a muthafucking turn off.

The fact is strength and confidence is a big turn on. I don't need one of those "yes dear ass kissing uncle Tom ass" men. I know more women who demonstrate that strength than I do men. They just don't make 'em like they used to. No offense men...but all these boys running around here pretending to men are making y'all look bad.

I'm gonna tell y'all (men) what y'all need to do to fix the problem. First stop patting your puss ass friends on the back when they do some bullshit. I know y'all be thinking,"That's not my business that ain't got shit to do with me" but that shit effects us all. Stop letting them fools think that they are getting away with something or gaining some cool points for pulling off some bull.

Anywho I got a little sidetracked...The point is you have to know how to deal with a woman. This tactic doesn't work with us all, it varies, but I believe the general properties are the same. Let me know what you think.

By the way the quote came from a very wise man's book. You all have heard of him, anyone what to take a guess at who said it. You might be surprised or you might not be.

Pimps up hoes down in the Mad Real World.

AimHigher The Naked Truth

I'm going to try something different here in the Mad Real World. Everyday I am going to reveal an "interesting" (what may be interesting to me may not be interesting to you) fact. But I will try and keep it interesting. For example, I was more popular in high school than NameLiar...lol Okay that is not a fact that is a matter of opinion...lol

Alright let me quit playing, the fact for today is...

When I am talking to people with a lazy eye I'm not sure which eye to look at so instead of picking an eye, cause you can't look at them both or else one of your eyes will end up wandering off, I look at their eyebrows or eyelids. I look at anything close to their eyes so it appears I am giving them eye contact. LOLIf it's not NameLiar, then it must be AimHigher in the Mad Real World.

It Will Be Here Before I Know It...Thank God!

I am so happy that it is almost time for me to go on my vacation. Every other year I take one of those Carnival Cruises. This year we are going to Belize, Cozumel, Costa Maya and Grand Cayman.

Lord knows I need a break from my everyday. I'm thinking about going to the islands and losing my old self and returning a new woman....And no that doesn't mean I am going to pull a Stella and come back with some island negro.

What I need is a change. I'm not sure if I am coming out of my shell, but I would definitely like to make some changes to the shell I am in. Get rid of some folks...meet some new folks...shoot some old folks...you know that type of stuff. I don't know I guess I am really rambling right now...just thinking and writing it down.

Anywho...it will be great to say goodbye to Chicago and all the people in it...with a few exceptions...and say hello to island life for a good 9 days. I don't leave until November 12. So I guess I will have to endure until then. Hopefully I'll make it without killing anyone.

Don't you just love a good island breeze in the mad real world?

Your Wish Is My Command

At the request of Dee-Dee here is another pic.This one gets me into a lot of trouble.

Close your eyes Mommie and Daddy.

I wouldn't want y'all to start thinking I am soft.

Trust me this is the last one in the mad real world.

A Little More Show and Tell...Part Two

Thanx to you all for the interesting comments on that last picture. Apparently I look like everyone's cousin...lol

Actually in that picture I felt like I looked more like my sister than myself...But I like the pose in the last pic...Now my facial expression on this picture I like better than the pose so that is what I will show you...
I will share it even though it is not one of my favorites. I had to do a little editing, it was revealing a little more than I was willing to share...lol

Do I still look like Akila and JoAnn? Holla at me Grey2Green and Diva.

And special shout out to Hassan and Knockout Zed...I'm glad you guys eyes are in good working order and thanx for noticing that I have breasts. I sure as hell didn't...lol

This was a great idea Deeds.

Sharing is caring in the mad real world.

Let's Play A Game...Show and Tell

I feel like my cover doesn't accurately describe my book. They say "don't judge a book by its cover," well this time I want you to.

What does this picture say to you, if anything?

Tell me the first 5 things that come to mind when you look at this picture. And be honest.

We gon' get down to the bottom of my problem in the mad real world.

Survey says...Its ANSWER Time!

Alright I'm 'bout to spill the beans.

Knockout Zed asked...
Q: Are you Monie Love circa 1990?
A: Is that a hair question? If so, no my hair is not like Monie Love's 1990, it is not shaven on the sides. In the picture that is on my profile my hair is simply pulled up.

Tre asked...
Q: Would you have really gone out with the guy from the previous post?
A: I'm not 100% sure. I would have probably tried to hook him up with my mother. I would have found something to do with him though, for sure. I can't let that go to waste...lol.

Chubby Chocolate asked...
Q: What does your blog name mean?
A: My blog name is my real name and my middle initial together. My first name is Namelia (pronounced Nae-Mee-Lee-Ah) and my middle initial is R...put them together and you get NameLiar.

Knockout Zed asked...
Q: Have you ever fucked a homeless man?
A: Yes and his name was...HELL NAH I have never fucked the homeless.

Blk Silk asked...
Q: How old were you when you first "DID IT"?
A: I was a few months younger than I am now...lol...so the answer is 23.

Q: When was the last time you Got some?
A: About a month ago as well. It was a second dip with the guy I first "DID IT" with...lol.

Q: Do you use any "Ahem" Toys to relieve stress between the Escapades?
A: No not yet...lol. I am sure I will get to that in a minute...okay a minute has passed...lmao

Hassan asked...
Q: Have you ever had a homo-erotic moment/thought?
A: Yes, No well...I did think that scene in the movie Wild Things when they were having that threesome was hot...I'm not sure how homo that is, but I have never been turned on by a woman, no.

Q: What's the best/worst (usually the same thing) lie you ever told?
A: When I was younger I spent the night over a friends house, she was older than me, I was like seven...Anywho, she was wearing her mother's engagement ring and she let me wear it. We went to the store and to the park at one of those stops I lost the ring. I got scared, lied and said I left it in the house, it must be in the house somewhere. I knew it was out in the street somewhere but I said it was in the house...I still feel bad about that I'm going to buy that lady a diamond ring one of these days. But my question is why would you let kids wear your ring...duh!

Q: What is your most outlandish sexual escapade?
A: I don't have one...the closest I come to that is when I used to date my best friend my ex boyfriend of 2002. We used to be up in this house alone "play fighting" wrestling and hitting and kissing and touching and rubbing...anywho I like it rough...lol. I almost lost my virginity then but I made it to 2005.

Q: Have you ever had an STD?
A: No.

Q: Have you ever masturbated in public?
A: No, but I have wanted to pounce a few niggas in public. Pounce = fuck.

Q: When was the last time you stole something, and what was it/why/where?
A: The last thing I stole was a niggas heart...oh I'm sorry that is one of them pimp lines...I'm full of them. The last thing I stole was a comic book back when I was like 8 or 9. I wanted it really bad and my mother wouldn't buy it for me so I took it.

Q: What do you truly/honestly believe when it comes to God and spirituality?
A: I believe in God and his son Jesus Christ I don't like to say the Creator it confuses things. I could blog this all by itself. I'll save that for later.

Q: Why are you able to separate love/emotion from sex and are you able to attach the two in order to have what you want in a relationship?
A: Like Too Short say I don't love these hoes. I believe that at this point I am able to successfully separate sex and love because my heart is out to lunch. I believe that if you go into something not wanting to be attached and you don't invest any time in trying to be attached then you won't be attached. This is something I could blog on its own as well.

InsanelySane asked...
Q: If you liked women,, what woman would you want to be with?
A: This question is like asking me if I liked dog meat which dog would I prefer to eat, but I will answer it anyway. If I liked women I would want to be with myself. Watch how I toot my own horn. I'm intelligent, beautiful, caring, and I have hostile streak that only comes out on paper. What more could you ask for? <----That's how a pimp is supposed to answer. But if I had to pick a broad other than myself I guess I would pick someone like Angelina Jolie or Eva Longoria someone fabulous and different not yo average broad...lol

Knockout Zed asked...
Q: Have you ever had an orgasm and farted at the same time?
A: No. And Zed you are a trip man. You really came up with some questions.

Dee-Dee asked...
Q: If you could have sex with one famous person who would that be? And why?
A: Deeds that is easy Ving "Muthafuckin" Rhames. I love that man, he is intelligent, built nice and looks like he would break my young ass off something proper like. Could I sign up for that twice? Ooh and I would do Damon Dash. I like his little power hungry ass.

Q: Do you have feelings for any of your "friends" "Homies" and just don't want to say anything so not to ruin the friendship? If so who is it? (I do mean male friends/homies)
A: LOL @ "I do mean male friends/homies." At this point and time I don't have a crush on any of my male friends...I haven't had a crush since my ex 2002 who was my best male friend before he became my "boyfriend." There are a couple of cute guys at work but I wouldn't say I had a crush on them.

Q: Have you had any TACOS lately? LMAO!!!
A: Oh Deeds you are bogus for this only me, you, "Toni" and I think Teej know what that means. No I have not had any "tacos" lately. But when I was having that "taco" moment I do appreciate your kind words, you really talked me down from a ledge, sort to speak...lol

Well isn't it fun to share in the mad real world? I think I'll do this again some day.

Ask NameLiar

I'm so out of ideas on what to write about so...I'm gonna bite from Dee-Dee. Its your time to find out whatever you want to know about NameLiar. And I ain't never scared so ask whatever your heart wants to know. I will be open and honest, brutally honest...lol...If I wasn't brutal I wouldn't be NameLiar, so bring it! I will answer all questions in my next post.

This should be interesting in the mad real world.

Watch How I Pimp...And Get Shutdown

I was at the job doing what I do. Okay here's what I do. I play with DVDs, CDs, phones, video games, and radios all day. Mostly its just putting things back where they belong or putting up new things, every now and then I help a customer find something.

*Cue the sexy dude*

I'm in the horror section putting away the old Texas Chainsaw Massacre DVD not paying attention to anything, but the task at hand, and this man walks up to me without me even noticing. By the time I do notice him he's standing right beside me, very close, so close I thought it was someone I knew, like an old boyfriend. I turn and look at him, sort of, I saw the DVDs in his hand and my eyes stopped there as I listened to what he had to say.

"Excuse me could you help me find this in full frame?"
"Sure. Let me see if we have it?"

That's my new routine. I glance at the customer and then try and find what they are looking for as fast as humanly possible. So I still haven't looked at this man. I just run up to the computer and type in what he is looking for. I peck on the computer, it says we have 3. I head back in the direction of where I left the man with the Spider-man movie in his hand, I still had no real idea what he looked like at this point.

I'm walking down the main aisle toward the horror section where I left him and as I turn the corner I SEE him. For the first time I actually SEE this man. I stopped in my tracks and swallowed. He was 6'4" about 195lbs, late 40s maybe early 50s, caramel skin, goatee black with mingling gray hair, he was bald, smooth skin, beautiful smile...He looked like what I imagine Boris Kodjoe will look like in 15 to 20 years...wow.
I looked him in is eyes and smiled as I said, "It says we have 3 in the system, let's see if we can find them." I led him to the action section he is walking behind me, I thought to myself "Why can't I have a ghetto bootie like my momma? Why Lord?"
I get to where the other Spider-man movies are and I squat in front of them, they are on the bottom shelf, he is on the side of me about a foot away. I start thumbing through the movies...widescreen, widescreen, widescreen...as I'm thumbing I have another thought..."I wonder what he is thinking while I am squatting in front of him like this?" My mind immediately goes into the gutter, I smile....widescreen, widescreen, widescreen. I stop thumbing and look up at him, "It looks like we don't have it." So far it appears he is oblivious to what I have been thinking. Of course he is but I bet he wonders what I am smiling about.
He says, "Okay, thanx for the help."
I say, "No problem, let me know if you need help with anything else."
I walk off, he is walking behind me again, I can feel him, he is very close if I were to stop suddenly I am sure we would bump into each other, that wouldn't be so bad, but I don't stop I speed up and shake him off.

My manager asks me to help this dude with some phones. No problem I forget about the sexy dude who is old enough to be my daddy (lol...daddy...yeah..anywho) temporarily and I help out the other customer. When I return to the DVD section sexy is still there and then it hits me. The urge to know more about this man. I must find out. I've never had an urge to do this. NEVER!

I walk up to him. "Can I help you find something else?" He says, "Are you sure you can help me?" He smiles.
I'm thinking "Man I can help your fine ass out with a lot of shit, what do you need, I got you baby." Instead I said, "I'm pretty sure I can handle it, that's a yes by the way." I smile.
"Okay I'm looking for Barbershop, the first one."
I get it for him it was very close, so that only took a second and as I returned I looked at his left hand, no ring. I hand him the movie and ask anyway..."Are you married?"
"No."
"Do you have a girlfriend?"
"No."
"Interesting."
"Why is that interesting?"
"Because I am tempted to ask you for your number."
He smiles. I smile.
"Are you into younger women?"
"Baby I'm into all women, but how much younger, how old are you?"
(I'm thinking,"Baby? Yes, how many do you want? You sexy muthafucka") "I'm 23."
"Awe you are just a baby. You're too young." He smiles. I smile.

Damn, damn, damn, damn...I wish I had lied about my age, not that it would have worked most people think I am 19, he probably thought I was lying when I said 23.
"Well I hope you enjoy your movies and your weekend."
"Thank you, you too, I'll see you next time."
"Hopefully you will." He smiles. I smile and walk away. I didn't feel crushed, surprisingly, I thought I would. I mean in theory rejection is supposed to hurt but it didn't I just laughed at myself. I wondered what the hell got into me, I have NEVER in my life asked a man for his number...what the hell? But he was fine as hell...Oh well better luck next time.

Watch out there is a new NameLiar in the mad real world.

Its Just You...You Came In This World Alone

Is it just me or is it when you have a problem in this life it is up to you to fix it? Where is the damn support in this world? You turn to your elders for knowledge and all they have is bullshit. There is no real guidance on this planet just riddles and hearsay. I'm angry and I want to spit in the face of those who have hurt me, punish them for having the guts to try and harm me.

This planet is nothing but a bunch of fools bumping into each other and as we enter each other's lives we cause pain to everyone we touch until finally our soul has had enough and we die or kill ourselves which ever happens first. The pain and anger I feel makes me want to lash out in a violent way. Pull out my dagger and slice the neck of those who get in my way as I walk off their lifeless body drops to the ground. When I hear the thud I want to smile and say to myself one less asshole on this planet.

I can feel the heat of the anger in me. I can feel the tension in my neck and shoulders. I can feel the hardening of my heart and I can hear the calculations, the sums, and products being figured in my brain. My next move is being decided and it is not looking good. If I make this move out of anger it could destroy me make my transformation complete. I can hear the emperor saying "Welcome to the darkside."

I'm stressed out, I need some gotdamn affection, I'm on my period and to top it all off I'm stuck in the house with a hollering kid that ain't even mine. Life is a fucking bitch. I'm just waiting to explode.

Yeah I know I've hit rock bottom don't be like me AimHigher in the mad real world.

NameLiar change the fucking music Erykah Badu singing "Love Of My Life" does not fit my mood.

Get Them Ducks In A Row

I'm about to put myself on blast. My ducks are so not in a row. My shit is wack. The shit I am referring to is my "love" life. My so called love life isn't moving in any direction it is at a complete stand still. The crazy part though is that I have quite a few men on the roster but they are all sitting on the bench none of them are getting any game time. Check it.

Demond - My Ex 2005
This man is a trip. He dumped me in June...lol. I was upset but not crushed. I enjoyed the year we spent together but at the same time he wasn't giving me what I needed so I knew it wouldn't last forever even though on some levels I wanted it to. That is over and done with but he keeps calling and teasing me...He says shit to make a broad think he still wants her but the truth is he doesn't want my ass. He is just playing with me to make himself feel like, "yeah I could still have her ass if I wanted her." I know what the fuck he is doing and my dumbass still talks to him. I need to cut his ass off but for some reason I can't. That is a problem.

Jason-The Mute
This is the dude who calls me at 11 or 12 o'clock at night with absolutely nothing to say. Dude is straight looking for a booty call. Peep what he said to me yesterday on IM. He didn't say hi or how are you, he just came at me with...
Jason: When do you want me
NameLiar: What do you mean?
Jason: To lick you
NameLiar: You want me to give you a date and time?
Jason: Yeah
NameLiar: Its not that simple just because you got me a little hot that doesn't mean you are going to get a taste. (I let old boy kiss on me and hug on me one night...I don't know about you other women but every month before I surf the crimson wave I get extra horny so I allowed him to give me a little affection...Now he thinks he is doing something)
Jason: Why not?
*Y'all see this shit the muthafucka had the nerve to ask me why not....why not...because I said so you stupid muthafucka. I don't have to give your bitch ass a reason, that you asked why not is reason enough. I was nice though*
NameLiar: Because I would like to know someone on a deeper level before we move into the intimate.
Jason: I see
Yeah I hope you do see nigga.

Hassan-The Older Man
Hassan and I hmmm...first there is age difference he has a decade or so on me (sorry to put you on blast) but we still have a lot in common...except for when he starts reminiscing on records, excuse me bruh what are you talking about I wasn't even born or either I was 5 years old...lol We have went out several times and talk on the phone quite a bit but that's where it has stopped. I keep a certain amount of distance from him, a part of me wants a man/boyfriend but then there is this other part that wants to be a player. He says I act as if he is fragile, he is a grown ass man but at the same time I don't want to hurt him. I feel like I am a ticking time bomb but my display is broken so no one knows when I am going to explode. That is a problem.

David-The New Guy
This dude is cool I have no beef with him but at the same time I don't know him that well either. Anything could happen or go wrong with this fellow he is still somewhat of a mystery. He just gets an honorable mention.

Mike-The Whiteboy
This dude is hot. I'm talking Brad Pitt Jr hot. I have a huge crush on him but at the same time I won't let him touch me with a ten foot pole because I know I could turn into a straight up sucka for this dude. He is a ten on the sexy meter but I just crave him sexually I don't think we have much in common. I could play with him for a minute tho'...but that's not good. That's a problem.

Okay those are the main characters but there are other little side dudes who I don't pay much attention to but hell I don't even know why I wrote all of this shit out...I just needed to get it out of my brain...Maybe I will figure out a purpose for this post, until then...this is my drama.

Attention please...I know the line is long but if you'll be patient we will get to you in the mad real world.

My Kind Of Town....Chicago Is (Part One)

I was sitting on the "L" (Chicago term for subway/train that travels throughout the city) and two out of towners were talking. I was ease dropping, which isn't hard on the "L", turns out they were college students from Louisiana who had been relocated to DePaul University here in the city. They were talking about how much they were enjoying the city.

Now that is what I like to hear people enjoying the city. I love this city, so they have prompted me to write...

AN INSIDERS GUIDE TO CHICAGO...
The Truth, The Whole Truth, And Nothing But The Truth

Let start with one of my favorite subjects...FOOD

I'm sure you have heard of Chicago-Style Hot Dogs or Chicago Deep Dish Pizza but have you ever heard of an Italian Beef?

An Italian Beef is a sandwich which is comprised of French bread, hot peppers, sweet peppers or bell peppers which ever you prefer and thinly sliced roast beef that has been cooked in its own juices and Italian seasonings for God only knows how many hours. Now the key to this sandwich is having it dipped, which means dipping the bread into the meat's juices this makes the bread slightly soggy and it tastes great. It's like a billion calories but its one reason why Chicago is my kind of town.

My fellow Chicagoans who has the best Italian Beef?

By the way the picture on the left is the way they want you to think an Italian Beef looks the picture on the right is the real deal.

If you don't know better you can't AimHigher, in the mad real world.