Tagged: Christmas Edition

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? Hot Chocolate. I HATE Egg Nog.
2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? He better wrap them.
3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? Colored on the tree.
4. Do you hang mistletoe? Nope. I don't want to kiss my sisters....eww.
5. When do you put your decorations up? This year we put them up right after Thanksgiving.
6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? I don't know.
7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child? Waking up at the crack of dawn to open presents.
8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? I never believed in Santa. My parents never fed me that lie.
9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? Nope.
10. What kind of cookies does Santa get set out for him? Chocolate Chip cookies.
11. Snow! Love it or Dread it? Love it around Christmas time.
12. Can you ice skate? Nope. Tried it once tho'.
13. Do you remember your favorite gift? Yep it was a Sega Genesis.
14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you? Being with family and friends.
15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? I love Peach Cobbler, Banana Pudding, and Key Lime Pie.
16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? I don't know...each year we do something different.
17. What tops your tree? Nothing yet. We haven't decided on a topping.
18. Which do you prefer giving or receiving? I like both.
19. What is your favorite Christmas Carol? Joy To The World...and I love that Charlie Brown song "Christmas Time" its so peaceful.
20. Candy Canes! Sure why not

I'm gonna be doing Christmas up real big this year. Stay tuned for the details.
Deck the halls in the mad real world.

Alright Let's Wrap It Up...3 in 1

I think I got out all of the real crazy stories about my cruise. Now here are the tid bits.

1.
My aunt, the maniac, is a horrible room mate. Everytime I would come into our room she had the heat on hell. No it wasn't cold outside. She was just cold. One night I was lying down and she asked me if I was cold. I said "No, actually I am hot." That didn't matter she turned the heat up anyway. I have a thought on that...I believe it is a form of being selfish. See it doesn't matter what I wanted, only what she wanted.

***********

2.

My aunt also treated a woman who thought she was doing the Lord's work. Check it, most of you church goers know that sometimes the Lord speaks to people and give them things to share with you about your life. Right? It doesn't happen to often but they will say something like, "The Lord is putting something in my spirit to share with you," and then they will go on to tell you something. Well...lol...this is probably more funny to me than it will be to you but, one night while we were at dinner one of the women at our table had the "unction in her spirit" to share such thoughts with my aunt.

Here's how it started. One of the women named Pat asked my aunt what church she attended. My aunt said she had just left her church home and was visiting with another church. Oh and what did she say that for. The young woman sitting next to my aunt...lol...whispered something in Pat's ear. Pat says out loud, "Tell her." So this chick...Lord forgive me....says to my aunt, "The Lord is telling me to tell you that you don't need to be church hopping because you are picking up different spirits. If you want to know what church you should go to ask him and he will tell you." I immediately started laughing on the inside because I knew my aunt wasn't going to listen to her. Why, you ask? Well because the young lady was just in the club the night before and was drinking her ass off...lol. I don't mean to judge but I knew my aunt was going to tell her a thing or two. And I was right.

My aunt told her in a confrontational tone, "Hold up. First of all I'm not church hopping. If you were listening that is not what I said." Which is true my aunt didn't say that. The girl was surprised by my aunts tone I could tell by the look in her face. I wanted to laugh so bad and so did my sisters. The girl tried again by saying, "I'm just telling you what the Lord is putting in my spirit." My aunt kept cutting her off and talking over her by saying, "I've asked the Lord and he hasn't said that to me and I know what he told me to do."

I swear I wanted to fall on the floor from laughter. After they both shut up it was an uncomfortable silence at the table...You know the quiet that happens when someone just got their feelings hurt. I looked at my sisters and theirs eyes were smiling. The chick with the word and Pat both looked stunned and then started looking in directions other than my aunt's. My aunt just continued cutting her steak like nothing happened. It was classic. These poor women in their 50s and 30s had no idea what to do, so I changed the subject.

***********

3.
My mother is silly. She got up one night at karaoke and did her impression of Tina Turner doing "Proud Mary." I have pictures of her performance but all you see is her hair. Everytime I snapped a picture her hair was in her face...I'll show you.

Exhibit ABy the way my aunt, the maniac, is in these pictures. Can anyone guess which one she is? I know the pics are tiny.
I guess that about wraps up my cruise adventures. I did indeed have a great time and everyone made it something I will never forget.

Let's get back to regular happenings in the mad real world.

"Oh I Think They Like Me..."

Alright y'all know a fly ass broad like myself couldn't go on vacation without some dude trying to be all up in my drawz. I'm runnin' round the boat and islands like "...oh I think they like me..." Its something about a fro, some sunglasses, and some lip gloss that drives a nigga crazy, white guys like the shit too. SIKE! Actually only a couple of dudes tried to holla, which was cool with me there was a lot of action just dealing with the broads I came with, there was no time for men.

But anywho, my Aunt, the maniac, (read the previous post) was really on some "...oh I think they like me..." shit. We were sitting in the Baccus dining room which is one of the formal dining rooms of the ship. I'm getting ready to tear some food up when this broad pulls me to the side and says, "What's up with your friends?" I'm like, "Which ones?" "Them over there they seem to be so stuck up." (Why do people mistake quiet for stuck up?) I'm thinking what, who? I don't have any stuck up friends. She continues by saying, "They have been looking at me funny this entire cruise, I can't help it I look like this and they look like that."

I wanted to fall on the floor from laughter. My aunt god bless her drunken soul is not all that, her shit is a little raggedy from previous years and years and years of drinking. But she was still thinking "...oh I think they like me..."

She wasn't the only one who was hearing this song in her head the entire trip. One of my mother's other friends was hearing this shit too. My girl T thought one of the dudes in the Lido deck band was hot. He wasn't hot, but I digress. Anywho, he was in the club one night and she convinced my Momma (which isn't hard, she is a true die hard outgoing person who never gets embarrassed) to signal him over to our table. My mother strikes up a conversation with old boy and slides him off onto my girl T without him being the wiser. Well my Mother's friend Lady C thought dude wasn't really into T, she said and I quote, "He don't want T, he looking at me." And I immediately thought, "...oh I think they like me..."

Let's get back to my aunt tho'. She started drinking AGAIN later on that night after she revealed that my homies were hating on her looks. She stumbled...yes stumbled up to the lido deck. She had a tall glass of Bacardi with a big ass orange peel in it. She asked if anyone wanted to play cards. We all knew she was drunk so we declined, everyone that is except for my girl T. She was like, sure I'll play with you. I was thinking to myself AWE SHIT! They were playing pitty pat. After T won 3 games in a row my aunt yells out like she was possessed again, "I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU T." I'm looking like what in the hell, got damn lady is it your intention to embarrass me everyday of this cruise. LOL

But to tell you the truth I wasn't embarrassed I thought the shit was funny as hell. That broad was really snappin' off. But poor T she wasn't thinking "oh I think they like me..." T was frightened.

My aunt started smoking again on this trip. I hadn't know her to smoke in years. She was really acting like an ass on this trip. Mind you this isn't the first time I was on a cruise with her but something made her ass snap off. We all got up from the table and went to the late night buffet my ass was getting down on the food tip...lol Anyway my drunken aunt was like it is to late to be eating that junk. I must've looked at her like she was crazy. "Drunk-ard please!" Five minutes later her drunk ass was asking T if she wanted to go with her to go and get something to eat. T declined and she stumbled off by herself and I didn't see her again until I went back to the cabin. Did I tell y'all that my sister and I shared a room with her? I swear that broad is crazy!

Don't get me wrong I had fun on this trip but a lot of crazy shit was happening in The Mad Real World:Cruise Edition.

"I Had One To Many Drinks..."

Alright let's start at the beginning of this trip. First, I asked Hassan if I could borrow his digital camera he agreed, he even brought it to my house. Now he told me he was coming over in the late afternoon, well me being a nut case I laid down to take a nap anyway.

I'm lying in my bed and what do I hear but the phone ring...caller id says Hassan...Yikes! I'm thinking, oh he is probably calling to let me know he is on his way. WRONG! He is calling to let me know he is 2 minutes away. AHHH! Two minutes away! My hair was fucked the hell up, I had on a big ass sweat shirt and some fleece jogging pants, my eyebrows weren't arched...AimHigher hates that...I was tow-da-hell-up! It was horrible next thing I know ding dong...Oh shit! What the hell am I gonna do...my first thought was to make him wait in the hallway, but that would be just rude. So instead I closed my eyes and opened the door. I fucking cringed from the pain of having a human being other than my sisters or close friends look at me in this condition.

He acted as if it was nothing, he could tell that I was uncomfortable but he didn't look at me like I was the crypt keeper which made me relax. Anyway, I had a feeling this trip was going to be interesting it had already had an interesting beginning.

So I ended up pulling myself back into pimpin' condition by the next morning. Got my hair and eyebrows done, put on some decent clothes, I was ready. Well that was after I called Deeds and told her what happened. She took my pimp card for that hopefully I can get it back now.

Anyway, there were 26 of us in our group. A few married couples but the rest of us were single or there without our mates. Y'all know my puss ass is single as a jay bird. Anywho...let the drinks begin. I myself don't drink very often but I figured I would have a few this trip a little more than normal. Well my aunt "had one to many drinks..." Her ass turned into a looney toon.

We were in one of the clubs on the ship named Frankie and Johnnie's. This broad lost her mind. She had a bottle of Bacardi all to herself. No let me rephrase that. She had a big ass bottle of Bacardi to her damn self. We were sitting in the club listening to these Asian dudes sing R&B...old school joints...they were jamming. My aunt was sitting there dancing in her seat when a friend of mine told her, "Girl get on up and shake your booty." My aunt replied like she was possessed, "No. I don't shake my booty." Then her ass took off like a bat outta hell. She jumped up out of her chair and began doing the most retarded dance and she was doing it in hyper speed.

This chick acted like it was a dance sprint or something. Like she had to do the dance the fastest or else she was gonna get kicked off the ship. I was looking around like did I miss the start gun, when did the fucking race start? I have never seen anyone move the way she did. It was like watching a Taebo DVD in fast forward. It was like there was a speed bag in front of her and she was trying to hit it while her feet were doing the moves from the movie Flashdance...."She's a maniac, maniac on the floor and she dancing like she's never danced before..." We all looked at her like WHAT THE FUCK!!! I have never seen this woman dance a day in my life. She definitely..."had one to many drinks."

That was only the beginning there are more stories of that drunken broads antics, she almost drove me crazy in the mad real world.

PS. The vacation pics have been posted. Check out flickr for all of the pics.

Guess Who's Ba-Zack!

Well I am back good people and feeling better than ever...Boy have I got some stories for y'all. I don't even know where to start.

Well I guess I should start with the juiciest stuff first. So that would be the tale of me in a suite with 2 shots of rum, a Mexican dude, a Puerto Rican dude, and a Black guy. Actually I was drinking before the 2 shots of rum. I had a long island ice tea, a screw driver, 2 kisses on the lips (that is a sweet ass drink) some rum punch oh and a sip of a blue margarita, all within an hour. The funny part is that I was even tipsy...no buzz...no nothing. Weak ass drinks, but the shots alone...whoa!

Okay hold on I am so tired and the stories are swirling in my head. I need to organize my thoughts and get rid of my sea legs. I'll hit y'all up tomorrow with the details of my week. It was definitely an interesting week in the mad real world.

PS. I'll be posting some pics as soon as Hassan gets me that USB Cable for the digital camera, look for them on flicker...lol

Well My Mad Real Fam....

I leave tomorrow morning. I hate flying but it is a must. I'm in Tampa for 2 days and then I will be sailing the seven seas for seven days...lol

I MIGHT post from the ocean...not really sure yet, but I will definitely fill you in on what takes place on this adventure. You know I am always running into some crazy folks.

So in the meantime enjoy the island music...oh and check out that Lady Saw video, that broad trips me out everytime. She has a lyric in that song that says "Me to rich for arguing bitch..." Ha! I hear that. That broad is a trip she has another video for this song called "I've Got Your Man." This lady be making some songs.

Anywho...Y'all be good. I'll see you when I see you in the mad real world.

High School And Me...The Whole Truth And Nothing But The...

This is a little long but I think it is interesting...lol

In my last post I mentioned high school and a high school buddy. I'm only 23 so high school wasn't that long ago but it seems like ancient history.

In high school I was the chubby light skinned girl in a clique of dark skinned skinny chicks. The funny thing is I never noticed it until my senior year. One of them said,"I hate light skinned girls but not you Millie." Anywho I will admit that I was not the pimp that I proclaim myself to be now. I was shy and quiet, they were loud and comedic. We used to have a blast. I was the genius/geek who helped them with there homework and gave them the answers to tests and so forth. It was cool I didn't mind helping them out they were my girls.

One of my friends, who shall be called Wanda from this point on, had a crush on this older guy that worked for my mother. He is only 5 years older, but anyway, I too had a crush on him. He was gorgeous, 6'1, 180lbs, nice body caramel skinned, he kind of looks like Grant Hill and the dude who played Overton on Living Single. He is hot. Anywho we both had a thing for him.

During high school she would try everything in her power to get him. You know the things that young girls do to try and get a guy's attention. She would hit him, take something that belongs to him and make him chase her...in other words do stupid stuff. I used to just sit back and laugh, like this broad is crazy. Anywho I think we all believed that I didn't have a chance in hell at getting with dude. I was a square, a fat square at that...lol Back then he and I used to play fight, a lot. I was a tom boy so it was nothing. I would punch the hell out of his ass and he would smack me around a little bit. Mind you I was like 15 or 16.

One day he and I were play fighting as usual...I think it started while we were playing basketball, I was talking trash as I do so well and he had had enough already so he popped me upside my head. So there we were fighting as usual, some kind of way we ended up falling and he fell on top of me. I think he tried to trip me and our legs got caught or some ish anyway when we fell he didn't get up. He was on top of me and he grabbed my hands and held them to the ground and looked me dead in my eyes. At the time I had no idea what that look meant but now I recognize it. It is a look of desire. It scared me then. I told him let me go, he said no, I told him I would scream, I was nervous I didn't know what to do or to say. The man I had desired was looking at me in a way that I was not ready for. He slowly let me go but he had this weird smile on his face. I didn't understand it then but I know what that was about. He wanted my young ass.

Fast forward...The year 2000. I go to prom he takes me, he pays for everything. One of my mother's other employees asks him, "What is up with you and Millie?" He replies, "Nothing, her mother would kill me." How do I know this was said, he told me. He tells me everything even to this day. At that point I figured nothing would ever become of he and I. We would just be friends forever.

Fast forward...The year 2002. He and I remained friends and kept in close contact. My personality began to flourish I become more so the woman that I am today but not yet fully. I was developing that pimp mentality...lol...Anywho one night we were talking and I told him. "You know I had a crush on you when I was in high school." He said he didn't know. I told him yeah and I still have a crush on you today. Well what did I say that for. He came to my house the next day and it was on like pop corn. I couldn't believe it. All that time I could have probably had him if I had only said something.

Anyway, as you can tell things didn't work out between us but we have remained friends which was hard at first but is working out fine. As a matter of fact he is IMing me as I type. I lost touch with Wanda and my homies for the first 3 years after high school. So when we all got together and caught up I told them about him and I. Wanda was in total shock she couldn't believe it. She thought I was lying, I told her to call him, he would tell her. I could see the hateration.

That's is why I wasn't surprised when she asked for his email address and I wasn't surprised when he said it appears she is flirting with me. She still wants a taste and he still doesn't want her. She hasn't had the nerve to come out and straight tell me she wants his drawz but I know she does.

I'll keep you posted on what happens when "friends" try and get with a friend's ex boyfriend in the mad real world.

Pimpin', Pimpin', Pimpin'!

My random exploits in pimpland.


1. I'm bout to be a pimp. No for real. This dude wants me to pimp him. Broker him out to other women and I get a percentage. He told me flat out, "Millie I need some extra money, do you think women would pay to have me escort them?" I said, "Yeah, you fine as hell." Let's face it there are plenty of ugly women with money who would pay pretty good to be seen with his fine ass. So he asked if I would help. I told him sure if I get a cut. I'm sure you guys will be hearing more about this...I'll even post a few of his pictures. He even has another male friend who wants to do the same. Pimpin' ...

2. I talked to Alex, the cute Latino dude at my job. I told him I thought he was hot and that I mentioned it to Tami. I also went on to tell him that it was entirely Tami's idea to question him and put me out like that. In addition to that I told him that if I wanted to holla I would've but he is still cute tho'. I found out some things about him after further investigation. Things that were not pleasing to my hears. Pimpin'...

3. I talked to one of my friends from high school. I haven't talked to her in about a year. We always get together when one of our other friends comes home on leave from the service. Anywho, she and I were talking about my ex-boyfriend whom we both had a crush on in high school...I got him after high school she didn't...lol Anyway it appears she wants him now. As I was talking to her on the phone I was instant messaging him. I told her I was doing this and she asked for his email address. I gave it to her, and what do you know she starts IMing him while talking to me. He immediately tells me that she is IMing him...I told him I figured she would. I know deep down she hates that I got a taste and she didn't, especially since she probably figured I didn't have a chance in hell of getting with him in high school. But that is another story that I will explain in further detail in my next post. There is more to tell. Pimpin...

I have to go check on my hoes in the mad real world.

APB

This is an officially APB.

Where in the hee-zie is Blk Silk aka Echo aka Groove?

Where ya at girl?

I'm gonna have to file a missing bloggers report in the Mad Real World.