What A Dumbass...Don't Call Me I'll Call You

I was lying in my bed resting, watching the Bernie Mac Show. I was half asleep. The phone rings. *RING, RING* I answer it.
A male voice says, "Can I speak to NameLiar?"
"This is she."
"Why you didn't call me today?"
"I just got in the house, not to long ago." *thinking...muthafucka I must didn't want to talk*
"Oh. So what you doing?"
"Nothing, in the bed."
"Oh...(long pause)...
*I start whistling in my head, thinking well nigga what?*
Well I just wanted to see what you were up to."
"I ain't doing nothing."
*Silence*
"Well I ain't really got nothing to talk about I have to go to work tomorrow."
"Oh okay I just wanted to see what you were doing. *You said that already* Aye matter of fact let me call you back."
"Sure." *rolling my eyes*
I hang up.

What the hell was all of that about, the nigga called me and had absolutely nothing to talk about. Don't call me with absolutely nothing and then think that I am going to fill in the blanks. Have at least one topic to discuss. Hell even when I am in flutter mode and I just want to hear a nigga's voice I stop myself and come up with a least 3 things to talk about so as to not make it obvious that I just want to hear him breathe. Good grief man.

I hate when people call me and don't have shit to say, just on the phone breathing...say something you dumb muthafucka. Damn mute ass niggas wanna call you in the middle of the night and use your voice to help them have a good nights sleep. You ain't getting no wet dreams off of my voice tonight...I ain't finna say shit if you ain't got shit to say. You are on your own. Goodnight.

Then again the brother couldn't resist the power of this pimp in the mad real world.

Well I'll Be Damned...Here We Go Again.

They are trying to turn me into a bitch.
This big broad at work was giving me the evil eye. She works at the customer service desk. I walk up to the customer service desk and she was on the phone...talking to her mother. I'm standing there like an idiot waiting on her to acknowledge my ass and she just keeps on talking on the phone. Then she gave me the "this bitch" look. Y'all know that look, that examined look, that measuring look. I was like, "Ah HELL nah!" Why me Lord?

Due to my passive aggressive nature I am probably the sweetest person you would want to meet except when I am typing some hostile shit that I should have said to some nasty mofo. Even tho' lately the hostile shit has been slipping out. The point being I did not have an attitude when I walked up to the desk. I had a big smile on my face. She was probably thinking, "what is this bitch so happy about?" At least that is how she was looking at me. So after standing there for a minute, I interrupted her phone call and asked her where was Sonia, that's who I was looking for not her fat unhappy ass.

Anyway, don't you hate when you are standing somewhere...work, store, whatever...and the person who you are trying to ask a question is totally not paying you any attention, like you just want to be standing there. That is one of my pet peeves...(I knew I had some but I couldn't think of any when I read your post the other week Echo)...I wanted to punch that broad.

I think it will definitely be interesting working with her...I'll keep y'all up to date on her ass and my level of aggravation with her.

Don't hate me because I am beautiful in the mad real world.

It's Finally Over...Bye, Bye Babyshower

I made it through that blasted baby shower without killing anyone. I must say that it went well. It was a little bumpy at first.

MY "BUDDY"
The buddy who was on decorations and cake duty showed up 40 minutes late. We were supposed to start decorating at 3:00. The shower started at 4 she got there at 4:40. At 3:00 I was cool. At 3:30 I got nervous. At 4:00 I started sweating. At 4:30 I was pissed. When she did finally arrive I was tempted to be nasty but I didn't act up or show my ass, I was just relieved. She is always late though...lol. I have never known her to be on time except for when she is going to work and sometimes that is shaky.

MY MOTHER
I put my mother in charge of the games. She is so much more vocal than I. She usually coordinates all the parties. She let me throw this one because she knew it would be crazy to plan for. I asked her during the planning stages how come she wasn't helping or backing me up, all she said was, "I worked with these people before and I'm not touching it." I was able to get her to do the games so for that I was happy, I let her do her thang. She did a great job...not a surprise there.

MS. HOOVER
Ms. Hoover brought her money to my house Thursday...great right...No...She was 10 bux short, typical. She just couldn't do things completely right, she had to do something wrong. Ms. Hoover didn't come to the baby shower....Whoopi! That's right her ass didn't even come. Somebody should throw a party just for that. I didn't have to see her punk ass, as a matter of fact I haven't seen her ass since the first baby shower planning meeting. Oh well...lol

THE SISTERS FROM HELL
Toni's "sisters" showed up like 2 and a half hours late. That didn't bother me...I just looked at their ugly asses like they were pitiful. The funny part was Dee-Dee knew who they were without me saying anything and they look nothing like Toni. Them bitches couldn't say nothing bad the joint was decorated nicely and the food was good. Even tho' I don't think there was any chicken left when they got there, oh well bitches, eat the fish. LOL

Basically it was a good time had by all and I even managed to enjoy myself in the process of making everybody else happy. So the baby shower drama has a happy ending.

I can't wait to see what happens when one of us gets married in the mad real world.

O'so Krispie...I Think Not!

Has anyone been watching the UPN show "R U The Girl? with T-Boz and Chilli" from TLC? If you haven't I'll give you the basic principles of the show. As we all know Lisa "Left-Eye" Lopez the third member of TLC died in a car crash in 2002. Her bandmates decided this year to look for a rapper to join their group. UPN gave them a show by which to do so.

They went all over the country looking for broads. They hit New York, Los Angeles, and Miami. Now this is when the conspiracy began. O'so Krispie (the winner of the show) did not have to audition with the other women. They just picked her to come to the house in Atlanta off top. I should have known then that they had her picked. She is from Atlanta which is their (TLC's) hometown...how convenient.

Anywho...the woman who should have won is...Mirrah.

Let me tell you the stats on Mirrah. She is 30 year old married woman from Westchester California. She is a poet, rapper, singer, and she can dance. She is very good spirited, very soulful and easy to get along with. There was only one problem she reminded T-Boz and Chilli of Left-Eye.

Someone asked me why do you even want her to win she is not even from here. True Mirrah is originally from Australia, but so what, I like her character. She is original, not a copy of every other weak lyric female rapper that is apart of the mainstream. I hate average ass people who copy others, do something different you weak minded fucks.I was a big fan of TLC...womp, womp...I watched the concert they did last night and they looked like some old geriatrics dancing...Sit down grandma's. Throughout the show they kept saying you guys are going to have to be able to keep up with us while we are on tour. Their moves were weak and tired. I was so disappointed. They were all over the place. It was sloppy as hell. I still got love for them but I won't be going to see them in concert anytime soon...I'll pass.

Anywho, this post is dedicated to Mirrah...she stayed positive throughout the entire process while the other chicks were talking about each other and being nasty she stayed polite and calm and for that she has my respect and my vote. Fuck what the rest have to say. She should have won.I swear it is hot in here.

The bullshit never stops in the mad real world.

The Assassination Of Ms. Hoover

Ms. Hoover ain't showed her money hungry face. We had one of the final baby shower meetings today. Ms. Hoover was supposed to drop 150 bux on me. I have yet to see or hear from Hoover. Just as I said, her punk ass has backed out. Toni and I had a good laugh when I told her that Ms. Hoover didn't show. Its 6:07 p.m. if Hoover don't drop off some dust (money) before this baby shower she bet' not show up or she gon' get hurt.

Boy is it just me or is it hot up in here.

4 days until the baby shower.

Does the term catfight ring a bell in the mad real world?

Let The Countdown Begin...Tic, Tic, Tic

*NameLiar pulls out bullhorn*

PEOPLE THERE ARE 6 DAYS LEFT UNTIL THE BABY SHOWER.

*someone in the background shouts* What? Only 6 days.

HELL YEAH, ONLY 6 DAYS!

Okay only 6 days left. I'm not sweating though, I have the restaurant secure, even though I only paid for 50 people to eat, but that's cool because only 30 people called to RSVP. If more than 50 people come and we run out of food, which I doubt, I can give them the this is what happens when you don't RSVP speech. So the restuarant and the food get the "DONE" stamp.

Alright that is the only thing I can stamp at this point. Which makes me a little nervous.

One of my homegirls, who shall remain nameless, the chick from Liar, Liar Pants On Fire she is supposed to be on cake and decorations duty. That's simple enough there is only one problem she is not talking to me. That's right people she is giving me the silent treatment. I have left her a message 4 out of the 7 days last week. Now I don't like to stalk people, if you don't want to talk fine, but we are trying to throw a successful baby shower here. I need to know if she has secured the cake and does she have enough money to get the decorations. I call and I get nothing but the voicemail. She calls Toni and asks her questions but refuses to call me, so Toni has to be the middleman....nothing will be a surprise to Toni she knows everything that is going on with the shower. Thanx a lot "homie." Her petty ass...oooh I swear.

Last I heard, from Toni, my "homie" was getting a cake that was half Red Velvet, half German Chocolate. Okay I don't know about y'all but I DON'T EAT NEITHER ONE OF THEM MUTHAFUCKAS and I know a lot of people don't eat that shit either. (No offense to those of you that do enjoy any one of those cakes). You are supposed to keep it simple when feeding the masses and if you are not going to keep it simple then at least have variety, throw a plain cake in there too. Cake and decorations...no stamp!

Ms. Hoover is suppose to give me the rest of her money for the restaurant on Tuesday. I can cover the restaurant alone but we agreed to split the bill three ways, only 2 ways have been covered. I just learned that her car has broken down so we all know what that means...she ain't gon' have it. How fucking convient. Hoover bet not be playing around or I am going to jack her ass up. Run me my money, trick. She gon' mess around and get cussed out. She has yet to call me and say, "I don't have the money," so maybe I am jumping the gun a bit. We will know whats up Tuesday. Rest of the money...no stamp!

Well at least I know what has to be done in the mad real world.

Thanks A Lot...Kisses For Everyone!

Thanx everyone for the words of encouragement on my To Hell With It All Post. I feel more powerful than ever. Your words have sent a surge of positive energy throughout my soul which have uplifted me out of my slum and onto fertile grounds. I have a job interview today, hopefully I'll get the job but if I don't there will be others. Thanks again.

I don't see any stars in this telescope, AimHigher, and look again in the mad real world.

"You Are On My List" Part One

Here are my current funny women of television and film. Every time these broads show up I start laughing.

When this woman showed up in the movie Beauty Shop she tripped me out. She walked into the salon which was located in Atlanta, Georgia and said, "Wooo, its hotter than a jalapeno's coochie out there." I swear I almost hit the floor. "Its hotter than a jalapeno's coochie," who says that shit? Nobody but Adele Givens. From playing nurse Johnson on the TV show Martin to playing Tricks in the major motion picture The Players Club this Chicago native has had me rolling for years. As a Queen of Comedy she taught us the value of a name. "I have a friend named Alexis who should have been named A-Buick." For her crazy appearances in my favorite shows and her hilarious stand up routines I deem Adele Givens worthy of being "On My List."


This broad is crazy as hell. If you have ever seen her stop by on the Ellen show you know this to be true. Leah Remini co-star of The King of Queens is a crazy ass trash talking chick. She is a black woman trapped in a white woman's body. She is real gritty and down to earth while being ranked #19 in Stuff magazine's "102 Sexiest Women in the World." I first recall seeing Leah in Saved By The Bell. She played Stacey Kirosey in the summer episodes when Zack and the gang worked at a resort. She had a "smart ass" tone then and it is even worse now. As you all know I like a little trash talking and she does it with the best and manages to make it funny. For her Brooklyn based trash talking I deem Leah Remini worthy of being "On My List."



Alright now y'all know this woman. I really don't have to say much about her. This woman has played everybody's Momma. She has played the mother or mother figure in the following movies and TV shows: What's Love Got To Do With It?, Poetic Justice, Meteor Man, The Temptations, The Little Richard Story, Juwanna Man, The Brothers, The Preachers Wife, Nora's Hair Salon, Girlfriends, The Jamie Foxx Show, and Dead Presidents. Now those are only the movies and shows that I can recall I'm sure there are more. She is loud and sometimes abrasive and I love it. I got the quote, "You are on my list" from her. That was her tag line in a Different World when she played Dean Davenport. If you were caught misbehaving or doing something suspicious you ended up on her hit list. For being everyone's no nonsense Momma I deem Jenifer Lewis worthy of being "On My List."

If you didn't know them now you do. What women make you laugh in the mad real world?

To Hell With It All...As the tears run down my face.

I'm seriously considering abandoning my home. There are to many people watching me, anticipating my next move. "What will she do next?" they are all saying. I don't have an answer to that question. "But she's so smart why isn't she....?" I don't have an answer to that question either.

It seems like everyone is in agreement that my life isn't productive enough. Last night my mother said she was disappointed that I haven't done more by now. I don't have an answer to why I haven't done more or accomplished more. As the oldest it appears that I am supposed to be all knowing and be a trailblazer. I guess my trail hasn't blazed far enough. They say I should have been born last. I am the last to do everything. Why wasn't I born last?

If I had somewhere to go I would walk out of this house right now. I'm tired of everyone saying that I am contrastive, different. I am a failure here, a waste. I am seriously considering living with my father for a while until I can get on my feet but I'm not sure if I want to open that box. It would get me out of this city. A city that I love so much but it seems to be doing me no good. California might offer a good change.

I have no direction, no motivation, I wish I could find a reason to why this is. I wish I had something to blame it on, an excuse, an out. I have nothing. Its just me being me. I want to isolate myself from them. I need to remove them from my mind and make a move in a direction. What will I do? I haven't the first clue. Tomorrow is a new day I need to remember to treat it that way.

You want to reach the top then go for the stars you can't AimHigher in the mad real world.

Gone.

My brain is out to lunch.
I have writers block. I got nothing its all GONE maybe AimHigher has something for y'all. Until then..."death is but a door, time is only a window, I'll be back." I bet no one knows what movie that quote came from.

In the meantime, I'd bang Justin and JC from N*Sync in the mad real world.

P.S. Don't you like how I said bang...lmao!

LOVE. The Topic That Brings Titans To Their Knees

Love: A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.

LOVE is being misrepresented. I've mistaken what I was feeling for LOVE. It was supreme infatuation not LOVE. What is LOVE? I can't answer that right now. I can, however, tell you what I thought it was. I thought LOVE was acceptance and familiarity. The love that I experienced was only temporary. It hurt and became frustrating at times. This form of "love" turned on me made a fool out of me. This love turns intellectuals into moronic, gullible, simple-minded, and short-sighted people. What purpose does that serve? I don't want that anymore. I want LOVE.

I'm in no need for love
Stretched this sister more than a mile
It's not for me because
There's no trust in love, so I'm restin' a while
How could you do me this way, love?
I can recall how you made me smile
And I don't have time to play with ya
If I see you, make it worth my time
Until then
I'm done...loving.

No need for love
Unless its Mr. Right
And only because
Mixin' lust with love leads to a fight
Cuz there will be dues to pay
And most of all many sleepless nights
But that won't be today, no
Guess I'll see ya love, its been nice
Until then
I'm done...loving

If you're looking for me, I'm done
Just a vacancy
Love don't live here anymore.

Bye, bye old love.

No don't AimHigher you hit the target with this one in the mad real world.

Rick James...Lawd Have Mercy

Okay I wanted to add a little music to my page...so I asked my girl (thanx) she gave me the info. I go over to Videocodezone.com and who do I find? The old boy, Rick James. Now don't get me wrong I luv some of Rick James funky grooves but this video for "Give It To Me," just tripped me out. Check him out in the speedos towards the end y'all. I almost fell out of my chair when I saw that. Damn put some trunks on Rick...LMAO!! Click here to view the video.

Rest In Peace.
You know he kept Motown alive after the Jacksons and Temptations left in the mad real world.

Have You Ever?

Have you ever wondered about someone...What they were thinking...What their life is like? Well if you have ever wondered about me, wonder no more...I'm going to tell you everything right now.

Right now its 1:50am. I can't sleep. HE is on my mind. I didn't want to be "selected" or up for "selection" so my girls went on without me.
Selected: being chosen or picked up by a man; as in being selected out of the crowd.
I'm in the house and all is quiet. There was an argument going on down the street. It has stopped now. All I hear is the chirp of crickets and the occasional passing car.

I feel like making another "move," completely out of character, something unscripted and unforeseen by the average person. The option to make that move gives me power, it gives me a choice. I can make my own decisions and take my destiny into my own hands. This is my life to live or so it appears.

Sometimes I wish I couldn't see bullshit coming from a mile away. If I was naive I could relax and enjoy the bullshit while it lasted. Ignorance is bliss. I need that ignorant pill that everyone seems to be taking. They aren't right. I know it from the moment they speak to me face to face. When I look into their eyes I see it floating around...pure bullshit. They want what I got and they want to trick me out of it instead of asking for it. That won't work. He got it, but he wasn't HE.

He thinks I want him. I don't want him, I want HIM. There is a BIG difference. Losing HIM still hurts, I forget about the pain but then it comes back. HE doesn't want me anymore, especially since I was with him. I don't want much just to hold and talk to HIM. HE won't let me, won't come near me. I think its because of her.

HE hit me in the heart I wish HE'd AimHigher this hurts in the mad real world.

They Ought To Hang Me

Toni (my best friend as you all know by now, an upstanding member of the SBC) sent me some pictures of her baby boy. This is why I ought to be hung...pay attention. Her baby, my godson, looks exactly like his father. How nice right...wrong...his father is ugly as hell. My girl is drop dead gorgeous on the other hand, but she picks out the ugliest men. This dude, her "baby's daddy" (I know you hate that term, but I had to use it) has a big fucking head its like the size of a watermelon, raggedy ass braids, and long ass face...okay you know what let me just stop. I am making myself sick just thinking about him. Gross...God only knows how she could sleep with that dude. I would've chosen death before I let him touch me and to top it all off he has a fucked up attitude to match. If you paid attention you noticed I called my godson ugly on the sneak. I should be hung. Fuck it...I don't even know why I blogged this.

Does anybody have a blind fold in the mad real world?

The SBC (Stupid Broads Club) is now accepting new members.

This is a NameLiar and AimHigher collaboration.

Welcome to the SBC, the Stupid Broads Club Inc.

Do you or someone you know meet the requirements to join? Read the qualifications we are actively seeking new members. Please don't be afraid to apply.

1. Do you dis (dismiss) your girls at the mere thought, inkling, idea, potential, possibility that your no good man might call or come by? Does the saying you ain't got to go home, but you got to get the hell out of here ring a bell, when he calls?
2. Do you hang out with your friends only because your no good man isn't available?
3. Are you Dick-no-tized? Dick-no-tized: in a state of hypnosis by the dick, the penis, the male member.
4. Are you able to find the cure for AIDS, become a brain surgeon, or perform major miracles on your no good man's behalf, but if one of your friends has a common cold they are as good as dead because you don't care, they are not your man?
5. Do you spend bill money on your no good man and then ask to borrow money from your friends to pay said bills?
6. Do you act oblivious to your friends growing concern about your scandalous relationship with your no good man?
7. Can you always give expert advice to your friends on how to deal with their relationships but are clueless when it comes to your no good man?
8. Have you gone from virgin sex (simple sex) to straight back alley street whore circus tricks sex for a no good man?
9. When you are on the phone and the other line "beeps," do you just click over and answer the other line without saying hold on hoping that it is your no good man? Or even worse do you hang up instead of saying hold on?
10. Have you gone from slob to suburban housewife? Do you find yourself running errands for your no good man? Have you cleaned his house? Do you wash his clothes? Are you now a chauffeur to him and or his children?

If you answered yes to MORE THAN ONE of these questions and you have the required no good man then you are a prefect candidate for The Stupid Broads Club. If you are not sure if you have a no good man just answer this question honestly...Does your man treat you like shit? If you answered yes then you have a no good man...(I'd like to refer to him as a nigga but AimHigher won't let me.)
If you answered yes to ALL of these questions then you qualify for an administrative position in the SBC. Check the Administrative box if you are interested in one of the open positions.

Dang AimHigher look at those new members line up. Yeah its a shame NameLiar, keep it movin' in the mad real world.

These Broads Need To Quit

This baby shower shit is out of control. (Warning the word bitch will be used quite often in this post. I normally try not to call females that but it is very fitting. I apologize now.)

My best friend Toni came by my house last night and informed me that she talked to her Sisters from hell. One of them hoes has the nerve to be mad she is not throwing the baby shower. Man let me tell you what this bitch said...Yeah I called her bitch because she truly is one.

The Spawn of Satan: You know I wanted to throw your baby shower.
Toni: Yeah I know but its out of my hands.
The Spawn of Satan: Well I hope it's nice... and I hope the food isn't nasty.

Bitch! You "hope the food isn't nasty." This broke ass bitch always has something smart to say. She can never just be happy for her sister. I want to do something really evil like put the wrong address or time on her invitation so she or her raggedy ass sisters won't even be there. I swear if this broad even looks at me funny I am gonna jump across a table and bash her head into a plate of greens. I hope you find a hair in your food you flat footed hooker. I hope her car runs out of gas on the expressway and she can't make it. I want to catch her in the bathroom of the restaurant and put her face through one of the mirrors.

Wooo...I feel better. Well as you can see I want to do something really violent to that bitch. I'll keep you posted.

17 Days left till the baby shower.

How many years does assault and battery get you in the mad real world?

Deja Vu...My Way

Deja Vu: The illusion of having already experienced something actually being experienced for the first time.

I was chatting with a friend of mine the other night and she says to me, "This is Deja Vu AimHigher I swear...I did this before I promise." That got me to thinking, which is a dangerous pass time, I know, but what if the experience of Deja Vu is really the way life lets us know that we are on the right path?

In other words, having a Deja Vu experience is the equivalent to a mile marker. Every time you have one (the experience) you are passing a designated checkpoint in your life. What if the experience is a guide, a map given by God to let you know that he knew what you were going to do before you did it. If so, then Deja Vu would be the design of destiny revealed in miniature segments.

Just a thought, my induction dissertation into the Mad Real World. I'm glad to be here thanx Nameliar.

Peace, Love, and Positive Progression

You missed the basket you must AimHigher in the mad real world.

24,02,39,41,13,..BINGO! No Its Random Thoughts?

I refuse to copy my cousin Teej and do a random thought "list." So I will put my own spin on it and do Random Ass Paragraphs. Each paragraph will reveal a portion of life Nameliar style.

I hate (I know its wrong to hate) my best friend's baby daddy. I saw him the other night and I wanted to spit on him. The no good bastard has her playing chauffeur lately. Every time I see him I think of ways to get rid of him. Can I borrow a gun?

I'll never drink more than two Long Island Ice Teas. The second one had me feeling a little funny. I was just giggling like an idiot...so not attractive, but I guess its better than being a sad or mad drunk. I think people fake being drunk. They have a drink and then say, "woo I'm tipsy, now I can do all the things I've ever wanted to do, (be a hoe) cause I'm drunk." So fake. My ass was seated the entire time I was at the club, drink or no drink....until a steppas cut comes on...lol

I need to find a male stepping partner or create one. I need to teach some dude how to step so I can drag him out on the dance floor. I'm tired of leading, I want to do some of them fly turns I be creating (more like stealing, from other dance styles). It seems like dudes who can "footwork" (Chicago dance) can't step. I need me a smooth dancer not some fake ass fast freddy.

I had fun this weekend. This weekend broke up the trifiling week I had. I should visit arcades more often. *HUGE SMILE & WINK*. I play video games a lot I just don't go to arcades. I should go to Dave and Buster's downtown, have two long island ice teas and then try to play a game. When I see a Mrs. Pacman machine or any video game in a restuarant I am tempted to play no matter who I am with...on a date, by myself, with the Da Crew....it doesn't matter I wanna play, but I don't...Well at least not all the time.

Am I young? I mean I have only been on this earth for 23 years but I feel like my brain is wired like a woman in her thirties. Once when I was kicking with this older crowd(as I tend to do) I saw a group of my peers(folks in their 20's) and I thought to myself, "Hmmm, am I trying to be to old for my age?" Its been like this for as long as I can remember always kickin' it with the older kids...lol Maybe my brain will halt at 30 until my age catches up. Then again I don't want to be stuck. I want to keep on growing. Hell, but I don't want to be old. Damn my mother is getting old and she is slowly dragging me with her.

I know my pops is salty I didn't call him or my little brother for their birthdays. I was thinking about them around their birthday but still when the day came, I forgot to call. I'm mad at him though. "Great anger you have yes?" Yeah Master Yoda I'm pissed like a mug at his ass. So unfather-like, so uninvolved in my everyday life. I should reach out to my little brother but I don't. I'm the oldest...I know but I don't. Stubborn is the word that comes to mind.

All my sisters have boyfriends. I'm such a hater. This is the first time in life when all three of them have a man and I am without. I'm not saying that I always have a man but usually at least one of them is with me on the manless boat. My ass is Rose without Jack (Titanic reference) Am I gonna drown then? My middle name is Rose...I hate it. Never call me that.

If I had to place myself in a musical category it would be Neo-Soul/R&B. Would I have to cut off my curly afro and give up my Neo-Soul if I dated a white guy? Does all of the black power just drain out of you when you kiss the lips of whitey? I guess if you are kissing whitey then you shouldn't refer to him as whitey huh? Well I ain't kissed whitey yet...lol

I ain't been to church in a minute. I feel like hearing a choir "sang." I feel like Shug Avery when she was at Harpo's Juke Joint and she heard the church music/singing in the distance right as she was about to blow out "Sista" aka "Miss Celie's Blues" she turned to the musicians at the Juke Joint and was like, "Speak Lawd, speak to me..." Y'all know the rest...and if you don't know that's a Color Purple (Movie) reference, then you ain't watched it enough. I'll let you borrow the dvd.

Its funny how some guys leave a trail of memories in your mind and others you can barely remember. My sister mentioned this guy I dated a long while ago and I was like, "Who?...Oh yeah I forgot about him."

Can someone ship me Ving Rhames on a platter. I love his thick ass. He be running around with his ass out (Baby Boy) and straight tonguing broads (Rosewood) in these movies. Man if I was on the set of either film it would have went something like this...
Director: "Cut"
Nameliar to Ving after kissing scene: "Yes, thank you, please may I have another."
Notice how Ving didn't get a word in.

Share and share alike in the mad real world.

I Don't Know Shit About Planning A Baby Shower, but I know this

My bestfriend Toni had a baby. He came three months early. I decide that since he has to stay in the hospital for three months that we will just go on and have the baby shower as planned in September. I heard bullshit because of that...I didn't care, kiss my ass I'm throwing this thing so shut up.

There was an uprising. My best friend has 5 sisters who she hardly ever sees (my sisters and I are more like her sisters and she gets angry when I tell anybody she is my best friend and not my sister). Anyway, three of her five blood sisters want to throw the baby shower. I laughed.

Toni (my best friend) was hospitalized for two weeks before her son was born. The doctors were trying to keep him in there (womb) by keeping her on extreme bedrest, but he came out anyway...lol. While she was there none of her sisters came to see her. I hate to toot my own horn but I was there every other day, all day, keeping her company. (Hell I'm an artist my paints travel) She would have these strange cravings for this fried dough ish from Navy Pier and since I don't drive I would walk my ass over there (she was at Northwestern in downtown Chicago so it wasn't that far) or I would sneak her some shit from the "Taste" but that's my homie so it was no big deal, she still trippin' that I did that every other day.

Anywho, these bitches want to pop up out of the blue and throw some ish. They don't come to family functions, dis their pops on his birthday, and they dissed Toni on hers, now they want to get all sisterly and throw a baby shower. I straight had to tell them hoes "Jump back bitches I'm running this show."

Now, in addition to them broads Toni's mother's friend wants to throw the shower. Notice how I said her momma's friend. We don't kick it with this lady. Let me tell you her story. Toni's family has a little cash flow, this lady is broke as hell (hmm she needs a name...let me think....Sister Leech, Sister Con, Sister Broke Ass, Miss Hoover...suckin' up money like a vacuum...yeah I like that) Miss Hoover's ass be taking Toni's momma for all she's got. Luckily she (Toni's Mom) isn't in control of all of the finances because they would be broke as hell with Miss Hoover around. Everytime I turn around they loaning this lady some money for something or either this chick is selling some shit to them.

Why just last Saturday I went with Toni's mother (Ma) to Miss Hoover's apartment and she sold Ma a 5 piece dining room set for $60. I know y'all are thinking sounds like a deal to me but it isn't. Miss Hoover only paid 50 cents for it. She got it from an old white lady at a church rummage sale. I was like damn Hoover strikes again. Anyway, I figured out that she wants to throw the baby shower so that she can stay in Ma's good graces. I laughed at her ass too. Bitch please, I see yo ass...I know what you are up to. I straight told Ma, "Ain't nobody who ain't went to the hospital to visit the baby they so love and want to throw a baby shower for is trumpin' me on this one." So Miss Hoover and the Sisters from Hell can sit the fuck down.

Ma, however, did make me agree to let them help...darn...I respect Ma..so okay..I'll let them help...shoot!

23 days until the shower.

This is just the beginning of this drama in the mad real world.