Liar, Liar Pants On Fire

My friend of four years has been lying to me for 4 years. This lady has to be the most elaborate liar I have ever met. Check this out, she had me believing that someone who doesn't exist, in fact does exist. Crazy right? I know.

For the entire duration of our friendship she has told me countless stories about her friend Steven (met him once and he is fine as HELL...so not an exaggeration) and his love triangle. Steven is married but has another woman on the side. His wife's name is Keisha and the other woman's name is April. According to the stories Keisha is a bad wife. She doesn't cook or clean very well and she is always running the streets. Now April on the other hand is an excellent cook, great housekeeper, and is very attentive to Steven. Most of the stories told were about how Keisha was horrible and April was perfect.

She told me that she met April and talks to her on the phone sometimes. Steven has asked her on several occasions to call up April and ask her to give him another chance. My friend does as Steven asks and April decides to keep seeing him. My friend told me she has become the great mediator and advisor to Steven on his situation with these two women. After claiming to have grown tired of this triangle she advised April to leave him alone, "If he ain't there for you like you want him to be, then leave his ass alone."

Year after year I heard this shit. About 6 or 7 months ago she told me that April had started seeing someone else and had decided to leave Steven alone, but there was a catch. April was seeing a friend of Steven's named Michael. New drama unfolded, Steven and Michael got into a fist fight over April. They are no longer friends because Michael says April is a good woman and Steven wasn't treating her right. That was the new triangle for a minute April, Michael, and Steven. Hell I forgot about Steven's wife.

April dumped Michael saying that it was just to much drama even though she was starting to fall for him. Michael was crushed and blamed Steven for messing up a good woman. Recently she told me April packed up and moved out of state to Texas. April wanted a new start away from all of this drama. Good for her I thought to myself, its finally over...Sike. Steven is still calling my friend and telling her how much he misses April and wishes he had her back. He wants to find her.

I could really tell y'all a billion other stories but like I said there are 4 years worth and I don't have the patience nor the time to jot it all down. Anyway, the other day we were sitting in my friend's car talking. I shared some things with her and she dropped a bomb on me.

She turned and said to me, "There is something I need to tell you." I said, "What, that that message your husband heard on your phone was for you?" (Recently her husband heard a message on her cell phone that said, "Hey babe call me." She denied it was for her to me and him) She said, "Yeah, it was for me, guess who it was?" I started naming names, I know of a couple of guys who have a crush on her.

"Tim."
"No."
"Walter?"
"No."
"Umm...Antonio?"
"No."
"Well hell I can't think of nobody else, except for....but it couldn't be..."
"Except for who?"
"There is only one other person left and it can't be him... Can it?"
"Say it."
"STEVEN?"
She smiled and said, "YES!.... I am April."
"WHAT THE FUCK?!?!"

At that point my brain went hay wirer all the stories started flashing through my head. I had a picture in my head what this April woman looked like from the description my friend had given me. I had to erase her ass and replace her with my friend. My brain had to reboot. Even when I think of some of the stories now I see April not my friend. It took me like 30 minutes to get myself together. I just looked at her laughed and shook my head. The most elaborate string of lies I've ever witnessed. Then stuff began to stick out, there were clues the entire time. And all of sudden it began to make sense. I could have figured it out if I hadn't been so naive. There were plenty of hints especially recently. I was speechless and I still am. All I can say is WOW!

She said in the beginning she didn't want to tell me because of our age difference. She is in her mid 30's (as are quite a few of my friends) and I am in my early 20's. I was only 19 when we became friends, so she found a way to tell me without actually telling me. She wanted to wait until I was older, she said, she didn't think I could handle it. I kind of understand, but this is all so strange to me. I just shook my head in disbelief.

Beware of the smoke and mirrors in the mad real world.