Have You Ever?
Have you ever wondered about someone...What they were thinking...What their life is like? Well if you have ever wondered about me, wonder no more...I'm going to tell you everything right now.
Right now its 1:50am. I can't sleep. HE is on my mind. I didn't want to be "selected" or up for "selection" so my girls went on without me.
Selected: being chosen or picked up by a man; as in being selected out of the crowd.
I'm in the house and all is quiet. There was an argument going on down the street. It has stopped now. All I hear is the chirp of crickets and the occasional passing car.
I feel like making another "move," completely out of character, something unscripted and unforeseen by the average person. The option to make that move gives me power, it gives me a choice. I can make my own decisions and take my destiny into my own hands. This is my life to live or so it appears.
Sometimes I wish I couldn't see bullshit coming from a mile away. If I was naive I could relax and enjoy the bullshit while it lasted. Ignorance is bliss. I need that ignorant pill that everyone seems to be taking. They aren't right. I know it from the moment they speak to me face to face. When I look into their eyes I see it floating around...pure bullshit. They want what I got and they want to trick me out of it instead of asking for it. That won't work. He got it, but he wasn't HE.
He thinks I want him. I don't want him, I want HIM. There is a BIG difference. Losing HIM still hurts, I forget about the pain but then it comes back. HE doesn't want me anymore, especially since I was with him. I don't want much just to hold and talk to HIM. HE won't let me, won't come near me. I think its because of her.
HE hit me in the heart I wish HE'd AimHigher this hurts in the mad real world.
Right now its 1:50am. I can't sleep. HE is on my mind. I didn't want to be "selected" or up for "selection" so my girls went on without me.
Selected: being chosen or picked up by a man; as in being selected out of the crowd.
I'm in the house and all is quiet. There was an argument going on down the street. It has stopped now. All I hear is the chirp of crickets and the occasional passing car.
I feel like making another "move," completely out of character, something unscripted and unforeseen by the average person. The option to make that move gives me power, it gives me a choice. I can make my own decisions and take my destiny into my own hands. This is my life to live or so it appears.
Sometimes I wish I couldn't see bullshit coming from a mile away. If I was naive I could relax and enjoy the bullshit while it lasted. Ignorance is bliss. I need that ignorant pill that everyone seems to be taking. They aren't right. I know it from the moment they speak to me face to face. When I look into their eyes I see it floating around...pure bullshit. They want what I got and they want to trick me out of it instead of asking for it. That won't work. He got it, but he wasn't HE.
He thinks I want him. I don't want him, I want HIM. There is a BIG difference. Losing HIM still hurts, I forget about the pain but then it comes back. HE doesn't want me anymore, especially since I was with him. I don't want much just to hold and talk to HIM. HE won't let me, won't come near me. I think its because of her.
HE hit me in the heart I wish HE'd AimHigher this hurts in the mad real world.
posted by Anonymous at 2:30 AM
4 Comments:
Dang:( This has to be some of your best writing. Not because it is long and you are ranting and raving, but because you are speaking from your heart and I ain't mad at that:)
So brave to show emotion like this:)
Now as for HIM....he is a fool you are a beautiful woman I just know you are:)
This to shall pass...right?...right!:)
Right tell her Dee-Dee. That fool is a fool. Everybody knows you a fly ass girl...and girls RULE!!!
Y'all like that rhyme didn't y'all...lol
Very good posting. I've been there before and it takes a while to get it out of your system. You're evening sounds like what I'll be doing tonight... Good post.
Aimhigher -
This is amazing. It's not easy to put your emotions out there but the first step to healing is acknowledging exactly what you feel. I think we've all been there. We know it's best to let go but it's easier said than done. Press on, press on. HE is full of it if HE couldn't/wouldn't/didn't recognize exactly the blessing HE had.
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