"I Had One To Many Drinks..."

Alright let's start at the beginning of this trip. First, I asked Hassan if I could borrow his digital camera he agreed, he even brought it to my house. Now he told me he was coming over in the late afternoon, well me being a nut case I laid down to take a nap anyway.

I'm lying in my bed and what do I hear but the phone ring...caller id says Hassan...Yikes! I'm thinking, oh he is probably calling to let me know he is on his way. WRONG! He is calling to let me know he is 2 minutes away. AHHH! Two minutes away! My hair was fucked the hell up, I had on a big ass sweat shirt and some fleece jogging pants, my eyebrows weren't arched...AimHigher hates that...I was tow-da-hell-up! It was horrible next thing I know ding dong...Oh shit! What the hell am I gonna do...my first thought was to make him wait in the hallway, but that would be just rude. So instead I closed my eyes and opened the door. I fucking cringed from the pain of having a human being other than my sisters or close friends look at me in this condition.

He acted as if it was nothing, he could tell that I was uncomfortable but he didn't look at me like I was the crypt keeper which made me relax. Anyway, I had a feeling this trip was going to be interesting it had already had an interesting beginning.

So I ended up pulling myself back into pimpin' condition by the next morning. Got my hair and eyebrows done, put on some decent clothes, I was ready. Well that was after I called Deeds and told her what happened. She took my pimp card for that hopefully I can get it back now.

Anyway, there were 26 of us in our group. A few married couples but the rest of us were single or there without our mates. Y'all know my puss ass is single as a jay bird. Anywho...let the drinks begin. I myself don't drink very often but I figured I would have a few this trip a little more than normal. Well my aunt "had one to many drinks..." Her ass turned into a looney toon.

We were in one of the clubs on the ship named Frankie and Johnnie's. This broad lost her mind. She had a bottle of Bacardi all to herself. No let me rephrase that. She had a big ass bottle of Bacardi to her damn self. We were sitting in the club listening to these Asian dudes sing R&B...old school joints...they were jamming. My aunt was sitting there dancing in her seat when a friend of mine told her, "Girl get on up and shake your booty." My aunt replied like she was possessed, "No. I don't shake my booty." Then her ass took off like a bat outta hell. She jumped up out of her chair and began doing the most retarded dance and she was doing it in hyper speed.

This chick acted like it was a dance sprint or something. Like she had to do the dance the fastest or else she was gonna get kicked off the ship. I was looking around like did I miss the start gun, when did the fucking race start? I have never seen anyone move the way she did. It was like watching a Taebo DVD in fast forward. It was like there was a speed bag in front of her and she was trying to hit it while her feet were doing the moves from the movie Flashdance...."She's a maniac, maniac on the floor and she dancing like she's never danced before..." We all looked at her like WHAT THE FUCK!!! I have never seen this woman dance a day in my life. She definitely..."had one to many drinks."

That was only the beginning there are more stories of that drunken broads antics, she almost drove me crazy in the mad real world.

PS. The vacation pics have been posted. Check out flickr for all of the pics.