"Oh I Think They Like Me..."
Alright y'all know a fly ass broad like myself couldn't go on vacation without some dude trying to be all up in my drawz. I'm runnin' round the boat and islands like "...oh I think they like me..." Its something about a fro, some sunglasses, and some lip gloss that drives a nigga crazy, white guys like the shit too. SIKE! Actually only a couple of dudes tried to holla, which was cool with me there was a lot of action just dealing with the broads I came with, there was no time for men.
But anywho, my Aunt, the maniac, (read the previous post) was really on some "...oh I think they like me..." shit. We were sitting in the Baccus dining room which is one of the formal dining rooms of the ship. I'm getting ready to tear some food up when this broad pulls me to the side and says, "What's up with your friends?" I'm like, "Which ones?" "Them over there they seem to be so stuck up." (Why do people mistake quiet for stuck up?) I'm thinking what, who? I don't have any stuck up friends. She continues by saying, "They have been looking at me funny this entire cruise, I can't help it I look like this and they look like that."
I wanted to fall on the floor from laughter. My aunt god bless her drunken soul is not all that, her shit is a little raggedy from previous years and years and years of drinking. But she was still thinking "...oh I think they like me..."
She wasn't the only one who was hearing this song in her head the entire trip. One of my mother's other friends was hearing this shit too. My girl T thought one of the dudes in the Lido deck band was hot. He wasn't hot, but I digress. Anywho, he was in the club one night and she convinced my Momma (which isn't hard, she is a true die hard outgoing person who never gets embarrassed) to signal him over to our table. My mother strikes up a conversation with old boy and slides him off onto my girl T without him being the wiser. Well my Mother's friend Lady C thought dude wasn't really into T, she said and I quote, "He don't want T, he looking at me." And I immediately thought, "...oh I think they like me..."
Let's get back to my aunt tho'. She started drinking AGAIN later on that night after she revealed that my homies were hating on her looks. She stumbled...yes stumbled up to the lido deck. She had a tall glass of Bacardi with a big ass orange peel in it. She asked if anyone wanted to play cards. We all knew she was drunk so we declined, everyone that is except for my girl T. She was like, sure I'll play with you. I was thinking to myself AWE SHIT! They were playing pitty pat. After T won 3 games in a row my aunt yells out like she was possessed again, "I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU T." I'm looking like what in the hell, got damn lady is it your intention to embarrass me everyday of this cruise. LOL
But to tell you the truth I wasn't embarrassed I thought the shit was funny as hell. That broad was really snappin' off. But poor T she wasn't thinking "oh I think they like me..." T was frightened.
My aunt started smoking again on this trip. I hadn't know her to smoke in years. She was really acting like an ass on this trip. Mind you this isn't the first time I was on a cruise with her but something made her ass snap off. We all got up from the table and went to the late night buffet my ass was getting down on the food tip...lol Anyway my drunken aunt was like it is to late to be eating that junk. I must've looked at her like she was crazy. "Drunk-ard please!" Five minutes later her drunk ass was asking T if she wanted to go with her to go and get something to eat. T declined and she stumbled off by herself and I didn't see her again until I went back to the cabin. Did I tell y'all that my sister and I shared a room with her? I swear that broad is crazy!
Don't get me wrong I had fun on this trip but a lot of crazy shit was happening in The Mad Real World:Cruise Edition.
But anywho, my Aunt, the maniac, (read the previous post) was really on some "...oh I think they like me..." shit. We were sitting in the Baccus dining room which is one of the formal dining rooms of the ship. I'm getting ready to tear some food up when this broad pulls me to the side and says, "What's up with your friends?" I'm like, "Which ones?" "Them over there they seem to be so stuck up." (Why do people mistake quiet for stuck up?) I'm thinking what, who? I don't have any stuck up friends. She continues by saying, "They have been looking at me funny this entire cruise, I can't help it I look like this and they look like that."
I wanted to fall on the floor from laughter. My aunt god bless her drunken soul is not all that, her shit is a little raggedy from previous years and years and years of drinking. But she was still thinking "...oh I think they like me..."
She wasn't the only one who was hearing this song in her head the entire trip. One of my mother's other friends was hearing this shit too. My girl T thought one of the dudes in the Lido deck band was hot. He wasn't hot, but I digress. Anywho, he was in the club one night and she convinced my Momma (which isn't hard, she is a true die hard outgoing person who never gets embarrassed) to signal him over to our table. My mother strikes up a conversation with old boy and slides him off onto my girl T without him being the wiser. Well my Mother's friend Lady C thought dude wasn't really into T, she said and I quote, "He don't want T, he looking at me." And I immediately thought, "...oh I think they like me..."
Let's get back to my aunt tho'. She started drinking AGAIN later on that night after she revealed that my homies were hating on her looks. She stumbled...yes stumbled up to the lido deck. She had a tall glass of Bacardi with a big ass orange peel in it. She asked if anyone wanted to play cards. We all knew she was drunk so we declined, everyone that is except for my girl T. She was like, sure I'll play with you. I was thinking to myself AWE SHIT! They were playing pitty pat. After T won 3 games in a row my aunt yells out like she was possessed again, "I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU T." I'm looking like what in the hell, got damn lady is it your intention to embarrass me everyday of this cruise. LOL
But to tell you the truth I wasn't embarrassed I thought the shit was funny as hell. That broad was really snappin' off. But poor T she wasn't thinking "oh I think they like me..." T was frightened.
My aunt started smoking again on this trip. I hadn't know her to smoke in years. She was really acting like an ass on this trip. Mind you this isn't the first time I was on a cruise with her but something made her ass snap off. We all got up from the table and went to the late night buffet my ass was getting down on the food tip...lol Anyway my drunken aunt was like it is to late to be eating that junk. I must've looked at her like she was crazy. "Drunk-ard please!" Five minutes later her drunk ass was asking T if she wanted to go with her to go and get something to eat. T declined and she stumbled off by herself and I didn't see her again until I went back to the cabin. Did I tell y'all that my sister and I shared a room with her? I swear that broad is crazy!
Don't get me wrong I had fun on this trip but a lot of crazy shit was happening in The Mad Real World:Cruise Edition.
posted by NameLiar at 1:45 PM
7 Comments:
that was hilarious! your aunt is a trip. drunks do ruin the fun, but they also provide moments of hilarity you wouldn't have had without them. trust me, i'm gearing up for that with our annual thanksgiving dinner in two days.
luv your blog. you have a wicked sense of humor.
See I woulda been in pain because drunk people crack me up! I woulda laughed so hard I'd have pulled a muscle somewhere. Glad you had a good time. Especially glad you got your pimp card back.
I LOVE IT!!!
That's why you say, "NO!" to al-ki-hall ;-)
LMAO!!!!! Tell me more!!!:)
Your Aunt is off the chain when she drunk huh?....
Tell me more!!!
She reminds me of someone I know. I remember once my oldest brother got drunk at my mothers' birthday party..he didn't get the drinks there...it was a Christian party...friends from church and family. He came over and jumped up to the ceiling bursting her balloons and daring us to stop him. It was so embarrasing...now looking back that ish was funny...
See, that's the other side of "Fix your mirro." There are so many cool people with low self-esteem, and then you get folks like this who have way to much. Makes you want to siphon it off and give to people who need it.
What can you do cuz? It's family!
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