Have You Ever...?

I'm bored so I'm just gon' start spilling the beans...lol

Have you ever met a man who just oozed sexiness? I mean he wasn't the most attractive man you've ever met but at the same time he had this confidence that just...ummm...made you lose your train of thought.

Have you ever been on the telephone with one of your homies, while he was at your house?

Have you ever thought that he wouldn't mind you talking to your homie for a minute?

Have you ever had him start kissing and sucking on your neck and it felt so good that you had to get off the phone immediately...mid sentence..like "Yeah girl I wouldn't worrrrrrr...I'll call you back."

Have you ever felt lips so soft you questioned the softness of your own?

Have you ever had a man be just the right amount of aggressive, the type of aggressive that is more like persuasive?

I could keep going but I think I will stop there for now.

Let's just say I have...all of the above and I might get into trouble with this one in the mad real world.

A Poem by Someone Other Than A Poet

This has no real flow but these broads are being difficult so I decided to express myself in a different manner.

Good Morning Work?

Rough black people at my job;
Watch my morning fly.
What are you looking at
With that super caffeine in your hand.

That tired weeve
Looking as tired as you
Maybe you should share your caffeine
With your hair.

Hey "sister"
A good morning would be nice
But that's too hard
Cause you're not white.

I smile,
You look
My smile,
You just took.

You're selfish
So I become an Indian giver
And take my smile back
Cause I'm not white either

Black on black crime ya'll in the mad real world.

The Pimp Has Left The Building

I am turning in my pimp membership. I no longer belong to the elite group.

I went to the eye doctor the other day to pick up some contacts. They never have my prescription in stock. I'm so blind that they have to place a special order for me. I'm used to it. However they normally give me trial pair of something not to far off from my prescription. Not this time. This time they are running low on trial contacts.

So I say to myself I can't make it another day with the contacts that I have they are killing my eyes. So I decide that it is time to buy some glasses. I get my prescription from that place and head on over to Pearl Vision. So I pay an arm and a leg for some glasses just so I can see when I go to work. I haven't worn glasses in over ten years. I now remember why. My eyes are so bad that my glasses are coke bottles. Not exaggerating here. I can see outer space with these bitches. I can also see what you are thinking and this shit ain't funny.

I can't wait until my contacts are delivered.

Check the before and after pic

I'm still a boss though in the mad real world.

Part Two

So I had to break the date with psycho and it wasn't pretty.
He called me at the crack of dawn, now ya'll know before the job I have now I didn't wake up until 11, 12, or even 1 in the afternoon.

Anyway, I was like "Hello?"
He: Yeah I just wanted to tell you don't look at your offline messages.
Me: Huh, what do you mean? (Still half asleep)
He: Just promise that when you get on the net you will delete the messages I sent you offline.
Me: Okay. (BLATANT LIE) Let me call you back when I get up.
He: Okay.

I ran to my computer to see what this nut job sent. I had about 5 offline messages all that read something like..."You are not who I thought you were. You just missed out on a good thing. You'll never find anyone like me, you are so stupid..."yadda yadda yadda etc etc. I was like hell nah you little fucker. So I called him back calm and collected.

He: Hey beautiful.
Me: Aye Maine we ain't gon' be able to go out tonight.
He: What? Why?
Me: Look dude you a little to deep for me.
He: What do you mean?
Me: Well I already detect some traits that I don't get down with at all. You sending up red flags on my end.
He: I don't understand.
Me: You are to possessive and I don't even know you.
He: This is the dumbest shit I have ever heard.
Me: You should hear what I'm hearing.
He: Well fuck you then.
Me: Awe suck a dick you crazy bitch. I hung up.

Luckily he didn't call back and it didn't get out of hand at least not to bad. But two years later which was two days ago I get this on my new Blackplanet page...

What's Good With You?
How is everything going with you beautiful? My name is Tyvan, and I am a 24 year old black male from Chicago Illinois, hitting you up because I liked what I read and saw. I am single with no kids, and I am a college graduate also. If you wanna talk, then hit me up, I have yahoo IM(supremegemini)...Look forward to talking to MsNeo-Soul <--My screen name. A few minutes later I get this... Another thing
I have never gotten my butt kicked in any video game by a woman, lol....So I would like to take you up on that challenge if we got further in conversation and meeting each other, lol.

I say to myself it couldn't be, but then again he wouldn't recognize me because I no longer have a perm or blonde hair. I check his Blackplanet page and find that it is indeed Crazy Ass! I don't say anything to his notes on BP, I then get this...
You're Bogus
I think that's wrong that you viewed my page and didn't send me a note back, I saw you on my page log..I was really feeling you, but if you're not interested in me, I can't help that, but you could have still sent a note saying something..If it's because I don't have a pic, well I do have them, I just don't have time to put it on here...So that's on you...because you still are a beautiful queen, and if you want to talk, my yahoo IM(supremegemini) or you can call me at(312) 823-8715..But if I am not your type you feel, I hope you find that king that will match your crown..Holla back

I then send him a note and say...
I see you haven't changed Mr. Smith.

I get...
And I still see with all of your neo soul talk that you are impolite and very conceited. Have a great life, and don't think I dont' who you are..be more humble in life, you will go further.Peace

He doesn't have the slightest idea who I am because if he did he would have called me by my name like I did him. I sent him another note saying...
LMAO!

I tell you boy just when you thought it was safe to go back in the kitchen here comes the coch-a-rochezz...lol

And that was a college graduate folks...there sure are a lot of good educated men out here in the mad real world.

Some Things Will Never Change

I never told ya'll about this sick-o who tried to holla at me a few years back. This nigga straight flipped his lid. He just popped back up today and his ass is still crazy, but this is how I found his crazy ass or shall I say he found me...

He was one of them Blackplanet niggas...one of the worst kind, a stalker, a crazy stalker. There is a difference between a regular stalker and a crazy one. A regular stalker just wants to know where you are all the time and calls you a billion times a day. This negro wanted more. This could be a long story but I'll try to make it short.

He saw my page on Blackplanet and thought I was the shit...like most men...lol. Anywho, we started talking back and forth on Yahoo IM and he seemed like a cool dude. I decided to give him my number...WRONG, WRONG, WRONG thing to do. We talked at approx. 2 in the afternoon. The conversation was going well, I was like alright this brother seems straight. We got off the phone and I told him, "I'll call you later." WRONG, WRONG, WRONG!!!

At approx. 7pm some friends dropped by unexpectedly in town, home on leave from the Navy. I hadn't seen them broads in like 2 years, and them was my homies in High School. So we laughing and talking then all of a sudden "RING!" I answer the phone, "Can I speak to NameLiar?" This is she. "What are you doing?" Actually I'm talking to some of my friends who are home from the Navy can I call you back? "Okay"

8pm "RING" "Can I speak to NameLiar?" Yeah man this me, (starting to get aggravated here) my homies are still here let me call you back. "Okay"
My girls looked at me like "DAMN, who the fuck is that pimpin'?"

8:30 "RING" "You obviously aren't the person I thought you were!" I look at the phone and then say, "stop playing" I just realized it was April fools day. He ignores me and continues, "I thought you were the type of person who puts your man first!" I laugh still thinking this was a joke and say, "Man quit playing let me call you back later."

9:00 "RING" Okay this shit ain't funny no more. "They still there, damn?" I say yeah, he's like alright. At this point I'm like WTF?

11:00 I call that nigga. I ask him what the hell is his problem? Then he starts going on about how I should put my man over my friends. I'm like what man? I don't even know you. I just talked to you today. I've never met you. These are my homies and they have been with me through thick and thin. I ain't seen these broads in 2 years, sorry but they come first. DUH!!!
He then says, Broads? They are some girls? I'm like yeah nigga my homies. I thought it was some dudes. I laugh but say to myself, "Awe HELL NAH this Nigga is crazy!"

Earlier that day I made a date to see him the next day. I had to break that shit and oh boy did all hell break loose. I'll tell you about that tomorrow though.

The dead has arizen in the mad real world.

Take Me Out To The Ball Game

Why for did Dee-Dee, Deeds, for those who know her...lol...invite me to a White Sox game this past Sunday? Why did I go and have a blast? LMAO

First you should have seen us. Neither one of us had on a drop of black and white...okay I had on a little white. Deeds showed up in pink and I had on this green and yellow jacket. It was hillarious neither one of us was gonna get lost in the crowd. The only person who showed any type of team support out of the group was her nephew Matt, who wore a White Sox shirt.

We have to be the worst game watchers in the history of the game. After the national anthem and the little girl screaming, "Play ball!" and then crying cause everyone was looking at her, Deeds and I sat down and started talking. We didn't even notice the game had started. We were just going on and on until the crowd started cheering. We were like what the hell just happened...lol

Anywho...we were groofing around..."Leanin' wit it and rockin' wit it" whenever Jermaine Dye came up to bat. Hollering out "GO GOOCH!" whenever Tadahito Iguchi came up to bat. Buying cotton candy and not eating it all...Deeds ate all of the blue cotton candy out of her bag and I ate all of the pink out of my bag...lol

I don't know what the point of this story is but all in all I must do more sporting events with Deeds...we didn't know what the hell was really going on but we had a blast.

"Go Gooch!" in the mad real world.

Tag Lady

TAGGAGE...not a real word I know...lol

How well do you know me?? For instance, did you know...

*Four jobs I've have had in my life*:

1. Receptionist

2. Product Specialist

3. Office Assistant

4. Bum...I did nothing for a good period of time...lol

*Four movies I [would] watch over and over*:

1. The Color Purple
2. Notebook

3. Wedding Crashers

4. Any one of Tyler Perry's Plays on DVD

*Four places I have lived:*

1. Chicago southside

2. Chicago westside
3. Chicago northside

4. Oak Park

*Four TV shows I love to watch:*

1. I'm watching Dawson's Creek on DVD repeatedly...lol

2. Grey's Anatomy

3. Desperate Housewives

4. Hell's Kitchen...new season starts June 13

*Four places I have been on vacation:*

1. Puerto Rico

2. Canada
3. Aruba

4. Mexico

*Four websites I visit daily:*

1. Yahoo
2. My Blog

3. My Space

4. NBC 5...gotta check the weather

*Four of my favorite foods*:

1. Anything related but not limited to a taco...lol

2. Italian...pasta, bread, beef, etc whatever they cook is good

3. Twinkies

4. O-R-E-Os need I say more.

*Four places I would rather be right now:*

1. Puerto Rico

2. Laying in my bed watching Dawson's Creek eating OREOs

3. With a rich man who adores me and wants to spend his hard earned money on me....lol

4. On somebodies white beach...it doesn't matter what country.

*Name 4 friends that I think will respond:*

1. Who

2. So

3. Ever

4. Will

Now you've been tagged.