The Verdict Is In...

I can't hold it in forever
Eventually I'd have to breathe
Done hid a lot behind the light, behind the wall
Now it's crushin in on me
How did I let it get this far?
How did I make this wrong turn?
How do I change a thing I've done?(I don't know..)
Only one lesson learned

Comes to the light, comes to the light
Everything

-Jill Scott "Comes To Light"

Guilty, just as I suspected in the mad real world.

Real Suspect

This will be a choppy read...sorry thinking out loud here...

There is a certain type of man I've always wanted. Most think I'm crazy but I've always been attracted to Suge Knight, Michael Clark Duncan, Ving Rhames, Vince Diesel, ex-linemen, type dudes. Men with meat and muscle on their bones preferably with a bald head.

Well low and behold who drops out of the sky but just what I want, like a gift from God or is it from the devil. The man is hot. The man is educated. The man is employed. The man is 6'2" approximately 260 lbs of muscle. Thick legs no pot belly. I love him or I want to love him but....there has to be a but...I don't trust how much he is in to me. I mean I can be arrogant like I used to be and just chalk it up as me being all that but I have a feeling there is a serious "something" which I'm missing lurking around the corner. I know he has 2 kids but I bet he is also married. Its something...why is a man this fine single? Most could say why is a woman this fine single as well...lol..so that isn't fair.

Is this man just to good to be true? I mean he isn't perfect he talks with a slight lisp...Which is kind of cute because he speaks such perfect English but every now and then you can hear it. This man has me mesmerized. I need help, I can't get lost in his spell but that man knows just what to say which makes my eyebrow raise.

I have good reason to keep my eyebrow raised, almost all of the women around me have had drama with their man. But maybe I should stop judging him for things he hasn't done and just get to know the man. Yeah that's what I'll do. Get to know him and stop making shit up. Cause if he is on bullshit I'll figure it out. I always do.

I wonder what will happen next in the mad real world.

"It's A Good Morning After All..."

Did ya miss me? lol

Alright I know I've been gone for a minute, more like months but who's really counting. I had to get some things in order and the first thing was my health.
About 3 weeks ago I paid my doctor a visit. The old is everything in working order check up...Anywho my blood pressure was through the roof...160/140 to be exact. So they held me hostage in the hospital and scared the shit out of me. "Do you know how close you are to having a stroke?" my doctor asks me. "Um...No."

Anyway I stayed a couple of hours until my pressure went down to 143/120 which was still high so I had to come back in two days, see a nutritionist and see my doctor again. When I came back for a follow up visit my pressure was 132/113. I was out of the danger zone however, my doctor wanted me to make a few minor changes.

1. Step away from the Pizza Puffs, fried chicken, and double cheese burgers. Basically eat like a normal person. I'm telling you my eating habits were horrendous. I ate corn dogs and burritos and all types of shit for lunch and dinner. I did not eat breakfast, all of that has changed.
2. Exercise!

I can proudly say I have been sticking to my routine and haven't had fried chicken or a pizza puff in over three weeks and to tell the truth I haven't really missed it. But I'm not perfect. I'm good during the week but almost eat whatever I want on the weekend. I think this is the only way I will make it. At least to start. I doubt if I would be able to go cold turkey. I'm straight up living for the weekend though...lol

My friends have been straight up supportive and I appreciate it. I have several workout buddies. Special thanks to my homies Hassan, Troy, Evelyn, Stacy, Tish and big booty Judy. (lol)

So that's where I've been.

Trying to burn some fat in the mad real world.