"I Have Nothing..."
Alright the title is a lie I have a lot, but what I don't have is anything to write about. Every other day I start to write a post and then I stop. Here are the last five I've started but never finished. Peep this...
1. Horses Anyone?
I have been debating on whether or not to create a "stable" or "roster." There have been a couple of guys who have been coming at me with the friends with benefits offer. The latest one is a cop. The man is fine as hell but I don't trust police officers. That man could cluck me upside the head with a 2x4 and all his cop buddies would cover it up. I don't think I'll be able to deal with his ass. But at the same time the offer is very tempting especially with the drought I have self induced.
2. Obviously I Don't Want To Holla!
I'm at a clothing store in the greater Chicagoland area minding my own business looking for a jogging suit. I'm not going to jog anywhere but I still want one. Now I just so happen to be looking in the men's section of the store for said jogging suit because I want a red, black, and gray one or maybe a tan one something with Sean John or Rocawear on it...lol
Anywho, as I am minding my own business this dude says, "Take those sunglasses off there is no sun in here." (y'all know I love the hell out of some sunglasses) I'm thinking to myself oh boy here we go.
"Hey cutie what are you doing over here?"
"Looking for a jogging suit." Leave me alone
"Ain't nothing over here for you."
"Who said I was buying it for me."
"I know you ain't buying no man nothing." I'm thinking you damn skippy!
"Alright you got me there." By the way dude has this heavy ass Caribbean accent...and as much time as I have spent down there I could pinpoint where from.
Anywho, as I am minding my own business this dude says, "Take those sunglasses off there is no sun in here." (y'all know I love the hell out of some sunglasses) I'm thinking to myself oh boy here we go.
"Hey cutie what are you doing over here?"
"Looking for a jogging suit." Leave me alone
"Ain't nothing over here for you."
"Who said I was buying it for me."
"I know you ain't buying no man nothing." I'm thinking you damn skippy!
"Alright you got me there." By the way dude has this heavy ass Caribbean accent...and as much time as I have spent down there I could pinpoint where from.
3. Mos Def Visits My Store Everyday
There is a homeless dude who comes into the job everyday rain or shine. I call him ODB or Ole' Dirty. He looks just like Mos Def only dirty. I can tell he is not high or drunk. The only thing he does is listen to rap CDs all day. He never even speaks until today.
I was putting up some CDs and I had the aisle blocked off with a cart. I really wasn't paying attention when I heard the most articulate "Excuse me" of my life. Ole Dirty has the voice of a god. He sounds good as hell just the right amount of bass. I looked around in shock like who the fuck just said that it couldn't have been Ole' Dirty but it was. When he didn't speak it was easy to just think of him as a bum. But Ole' Dirty is a person too...hell I think he might actually look good as hell with about 10 baths, a shave, some new jeans, shirt, jacket, timbos, etc.
I had a revelation...I should help Ole' Dirty. Its a shame that the man comes into the store everyday and we can't help him out in some way. He appears to be an okay guy...he doesn't come into the store begging or pissin' in the corners. We should help our fellow man not just watch them struggle.
I went back to work with a mission only to find out that after being there for more than 6 months they had finally put Ole' Dirty out. He's been banned from the store. I wonder what his real name is.
See all I have is beginnings to ish...oh well at least I got it out. Maybe now I'll be able to write since I got those little tid bits out. I guess we will see in the mad real world.
I was putting up some CDs and I had the aisle blocked off with a cart. I really wasn't paying attention when I heard the most articulate "Excuse me" of my life. Ole Dirty has the voice of a god. He sounds good as hell just the right amount of bass. I looked around in shock like who the fuck just said that it couldn't have been Ole' Dirty but it was. When he didn't speak it was easy to just think of him as a bum. But Ole' Dirty is a person too...hell I think he might actually look good as hell with about 10 baths, a shave, some new jeans, shirt, jacket, timbos, etc.
I had a revelation...I should help Ole' Dirty. Its a shame that the man comes into the store everyday and we can't help him out in some way. He appears to be an okay guy...he doesn't come into the store begging or pissin' in the corners. We should help our fellow man not just watch them struggle.
I went back to work with a mission only to find out that after being there for more than 6 months they had finally put Ole' Dirty out. He's been banned from the store. I wonder what his real name is.
See all I have is beginnings to ish...oh well at least I got it out. Maybe now I'll be able to write since I got those little tid bits out. I guess we will see in the mad real world.
posted by NameLiar at 4:34 PM
5 Comments:
Writers block...I so feel you on that, but it's good that you gave us snippets on what you would have written.
I liked the Mos Def piece...it is so interesting that a lot of the MCs look like homeless dudes in Chicago, especially Wyclef Jean.
I understand the whole writer's block thing... One thing, you don't have it.
Please bless us with your daily bread, even if it's less than 100 words.
Trust me it's appreciated. Mor that reading absolutely nothing and wondering when you'll next post.
Not all cops are bad. I'm just saying that because I'm finishing up my testing to join the department myself. I'd never clock your ass upside the head.
Now I'd expect my brothers in blue to cover for my ass.
Mos Def?...let's clean that dude up and make him worth while:)
You got me cracking up with the whole stable comment. Just make sure you get a horse and not a pony. You really can't tell these days. lol
Something The Lord Made....that's the name of that movie with Mos Def InsaneBlackWoman.
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