Has Anyone Seen My Credit Card? The Conclusion

This bitch is about to get it. I am going to beat her burnt black ass. I can't believe that bear-rilla had the nerve to take my shit.

That ho must be the dumbest criminal in America. She took her lazy black ass right down the street from the house. I know she's dumb because a real criminal doesn't by milk, potato chips, and candy when they still a credit card. However, she did try and pay her Nextel phone bill with my shit.

I told my mother what happened. She wanted to tell the Landlord. The people who live upstairs are the Landlord's cousins. Our building is relatively peaceful so this really caught us and the Landlord by surprise. We told her the story and she called upstairs. She wanted to talk to the girl's mother, she wasn't there. She called the mother on her cell phone and told her the story. The thief's mother said, "Tell them to do whateva they have to do."

Her mother straight gave us permission to do whatever to her ass. That club hoppin' jesabel was about to get, but a plan was developing in my brain. I decided to flex my brain power a bit and trap this broad.

I called the cops. I had her charged with theft, forgery, and mail tampering. She of course hid from the MAN when they tried to arrest her. The next day she came downstairs and apologized to my mother. My mother in turn told her it was me she needed to apologize to.

The district attorney called me a day later and said that they were going to charge her with a misdemeanor and two felonies. I was like perfect. I took the info that the attorney gave me and went upstairs. I told that broad what was up. I told her she was going to end up in a federal prison washing some big broads drawz unless.......She came up with some cash.

I told her, "I don't need to hear any apologies or any of that sorry shit. What I do need is to know how much your freedom is worth to you. Come up with a dollar amount and I'll let you know if that is good enough. I'll be back tomorrow."

She said okay. I went back upstairs the next day, she came up with a pathetic number. She spent less than $20 bux off of my card. She said she would give me $120. I laughed and said that's interesting but my figure was a little bit more gangsta and at the same time reasonable. I told her I needed $300. I figured a hundred dollars for each charge. She said okay and I thought of course it is okay you don't want to go to jail, do you?

So anyway the broad ended up giving me money when in the beginning she was trying to take money. Ha!

I'm telling you this is the mad real world.