Neighbor Diaries - You're not fully clean unless you're...

I'm 31 years old. I've lived in 9 different neighborhoods but number 10 is my favorite. I live in the United States of America, in the state of Illinois, in the city of Chicago, in the neighborhood of Humboldt Park. Humboldt Park is the HOOD to most Puerto Ricans but it's a neighborhood in Chicago that is changing. It's one of the "up and coming" areas of the city. ("Up and coming" just means that White people are moving into the area) However, with the changes you still have a few OGs that own property and will not be moving anytime soon. 

Enter my neighbors, they own the entire block or at least that's how they feel. Collectively as a family they own at least 3 properties on this block and I'm told, by an insider, at one point they owned 7. You may catch them sitting on your car or sitting on your porch or raking your grass and picking up trash. Being Puerto Rican and Black they often show me a culture of hoodlife that I am not completely use to but must admit that I am familiar with. Some of this stuff I've seen before but they are definitely adding some interesting twists and turns. 

Today, I witnessed my neighbor taking a shower in the fire hydrant. (Pause: Read that sentence again) He had his soap and he had his towel. He was lathered up from head to toe. He made sure to clean his balls by rubbing profusely in his shorts with his soapy towel. He attacked his balls as if he left them in the sewer all night and needed them to pass a board of health inspection this morning. He scrubbed as if he was going for that Orbit's gum clean glisten. 

Now I know what you're thinking, "LIES, ALL LIES!" No this is not a lie, this is not some creative writing project either. This is scrub-a-dub-dub in the mad real world - neighbor diaries.