The Mad Real World

And The Beat Goes On...

2008-05-12T20:48:00.002-05:00

Hellooooo...is anyone out there?

I've been gone so long I doubt anyone will even read this. So much to tell I don't even know where to start. Let's do this Teej style.

LIST TIME!!!

Career

1. Since my last post I've been promoted twice. (Mo' Money, Mo' Money, Mo')
2. Still not where I want to be though. (Womp, Womp)
3. Broads at the job still trying to figure me out..."cause I'm just cool."
4. Corporate politics involved in my everyday bidness.
5. I play the game well and still manage to KEEP IT REAL BITCHEZ!

Love

1. Dated a cat
2. Dumped a cat after 6 months
3. As usual I really didn't like his country ass.
4. But I played a role...he believed it.
5. Now hollering at an ex from long ago.
6. Not sure if I want his ass either.
7. Even though for many years I thought I did.
8. Can someone say JADED?
9. But at least I'm not angry and asking the same old question most single broads ask, "Where are all the good black men?" LOL!
10. Summer is almost here...let the games begin!!

Adventure

1. Went to the Caribbean for the hundredth time. "I can't get enough of your love baby."
2. When I'm there I feel like I could give up my Urban dreams (Range Rover, Fly-ass condo, and Ice) for a nice spot on the beach selling dolls and art made of palm leaves.
3. When I get back to the city I forget the sand and then the $$$ takes over. I want, need...
4. I go out with the crew bi-weekly if not weekly.
5. I've gone from never drinking to being a social drinker/butterfly.
6. A good cigar never hurt nobody, right?
7. I'M BUYING A MOTORCYCLE IN JUNE!!!
8. I want a Hayabusa, but I'd probably kill myself, "you'll shoot your eye out kid."
9. I'll probably get a 750 instead.
10. Other than that I guess I'm chillin.

Sorry there's no real humor in this one. Once you've fallen off the horse it's hard to get back on in the Mad Real World.

WICKED!

2007-06-10T22:23:00.000-05:00

So I finally checked out Wicked this weekend. And it was...GREAT! Now wait, I didn't love the songs as much as I loved the songs from the Color Purple but to be honest the Color Purple is engrossed in the ways of my culture. So of course those rhythms sounded better to me, however I really enjoyed Wicked.

The storyline was really interesting and makes the Wizard of Oz look like a half ass told story. Also the things they were able to do live on stage is amazing. I've never seen a show with some many visual effects. It of course gets four stars from me but folks have been saying that for years. I'm just one of the last to become hip.

Who knew a story so innocent as the Wizard of Oz could be turned into something so Wicked in the mad real world.

Jill Scott Rocks Chicago

2007-06-08T00:22:00.000-05:00

My sisters and I went to go see Jill Scott perform at this charitable event tonight and that woman tore the house down. I've never been so happy to see a "celebrity" before. Like a punk ass I almost...almost cried. I was just that happy to be in the same room with the woman I've listened to and admired for years.

The harmonies, the music, the vibe were all perfect except for this dude who kept hollerin out that Jill was about to make him nut his pants. GROSS!! Get a room buddy, he of course got cussed out and told to "shut the fuck up!" Anyway I can stop smiling and I can't wait till she comes back!

She has turned this fan into a fanatic in the mad real world.

The Color Purple

2007-05-27T08:54:00.000-05:00

I went to go see The Color Purple, the Chicago version, this week. It was pretty good I must admit. The songs are pretty engaging and entertaining. They made it much more comedic than the movie and book were, which was a nice change. We always used to make a joke out of most of the movie anyway. I don't know why.

I was a little suspicious when I heard Michelle Williams fr om Destiny's Child was playing Shug Avery. I was like who would believe her as Shug Avery but she did okay. She could have done a little better in a few spots but it wasn't that bad for a beginner.

All and all the crew and I enjoyed it. It was a good times had by all in the mad real world.

Ugly Men 101, Please explain.

2007-05-22T18:36:00.000-05:00

Why do ugly men always try to holla at my ass?

I know what you're probably saying "you're lucky anyone is hollerin' at yo ass."
Look I'm not trying to be stuck up, nor am I trying to say that I'm the finest creature on this planet however I know ugly and I'm not it and in addition to that I'm not attracted to it.

I know, I know, ugly people need love too but I don't have to be the one to give it to them. Let me tell you this story...

I met this cat and he was at least 300lbs and only 5'9." I wasn't attracted to him but I tried to use wisdom and look past his outer appearance, looks aren't everything is what they tell you. The more I talked to this cat the more aggravated I became. When I talked to him on the phone he would be breathing all heavy and snorting and hacking especially when he would lie down and try and talk. I was like eewww, not attractive!!

Now I know I'm not a stick, far from it, but come on. Just cause I'm overweight doesn't mean that I have to be attracted to folks who are even bigger than I.

I hated talking to him when he ate. It was like listening to animal planet. I would hear all these sounds that just made me want to hurl. I would immediately get off the phone.
Then it got even worse. He sent me a picture of his uncircumcised penis that was approximately 3 inches long it was the most disgusting thing I've ever seen. I was like AWE HELL NAH!!! I'm definitely out. Ain't no way in hell I was dealing with all that and a wiener the size of a Vienna sausage with a hood. That shit was gross, he had to hold up this big flap of fat just so he could take the picture.

He had the nerve to send me a text after that talking about did that turn me on. Hell nah that didn't turn me on. It turned me so off I couldn't even think about sex for months. If I think about it now I want to throw up...lol

So, rumor has it that you get back what you put out into the universe. Can somebody please explain to me how I put out little dick sumo wrestler? Cause last time I checked I didn't order that in the mad real world.

5 Months Worth...Nah I'll keep it brief.

2007-05-20T22:58:00.000-05:00

It's been a long time, I shouldn't have left you...

Where to begin, not that anyone will be reading lol...

I've gained and lost a couple of dudes. Don't worry they weren't worth shit.

I've painted some stuff and sold some of them. Ch-ching!

I've made new friends and drifted from some old ones. Friends how many of us have them?

I've cut off two years worth of natural hair...goodbye my love!

Now I wonder can I regain the habit of blogging again. I'll give it a shot.

But you never can tell in the mad real world.

"Gills & Tails" Amel Larriuex

2006-12-11T11:57:00.000-06:00

I looked at my reflection in the water
Thought what an unlikely pair
Closed my eyes, held my breath, plummeted down,down,down
And anchored myself there
Can't tell how long I've been in the company of gills and tails
I think I feel my skin growing scales

Can I come up for air? Can I come up, can come up?

I'm gettin' eaten up down here
I'm Just not built like them
The big fish have a monopoly
The little fish get buried in the sand
This here world i'm in sucks your life out, leaves you comatose
Take back your salt and fins
Send me a lifeboat

I look up at longing at the surface
Hypnotized by the way the sunlight seems to ride each ripple
And they do a dance
Every ray becomes a beckoning hand
I miss the sweet taste of oxygen
I mistook this for the promised land.

Danger in the mad real world.

Tail Spin

2006-11-25T12:36:00.000-06:00

Everything and everyone around me is out of order. There is major ciaos. My ass CAN NOT for the life of me find a man I can relax with. There is always SOMETHING up. Sometimes I wish I was stupid and didn't notice obvious differences and conflicts within the men I date.

Peep this...
Ya'll know the story, I started dating this older cat but I knew something was up with him. There would always be unexplained time gaps. He would say some shit like "let me call you back in 5 minutes" and then disappear for 2 hours talking bout he took a nap. HA!! Nap my ass nigga!
Then turn around and say I miss you baby I want to see you, but doesn't show up to my house until 8:30 p.m. even though I talked to him at 2 in the afternoon. Talking about he had to stop at Circuit City. For almost 6 hours you were at Circuit City...oh really? Nigga please. He must of thought I was a simple bitch...so sorry, I'm not.

I realize it must be me attracting all of these wack ass niggas. I've notice that I'm changing slowly but surely. I've always been known for being hostile but under that hostility I was always optimistic. That is starting to fade. I keep looking at my hand but I'll I seem to come across is jokers, which would be good in most card games but I need some kings or maybe a jack...lol...at least a 10 but these damn jokers keep popping up.

And on top of all that these jokers can't fuck. It would be different if I was getting something out of the deal but these niggas suck and not in a good way. Finding good dick is like trying to find a needle in a hay stack and with all of the diseases running rampant who wants to try...I'm paranoid even with a condom on...but that's just me I'm a paranoid muthafucka.

Anywho...in the tradition of Thanksgiving I do have stuff to be very thankful for...family, friends, a great job that I love, and the new habit I've developed of going to the gym...lol
I don't know what I'll do next maybe its back to pimping and not giving a fuck or maybe I'll actually find someone decent who I like and who likes and respects me in return....yeah right.

Until next time keep it moving in the mad real world.

The Verdict Is In...

2006-10-30T22:12:00.000-06:00

I can't hold it in forever
Eventually I'd have to breathe
Done hid a lot behind the light, behind the wall
Now it's crushin in on me
How did I let it get this far?
How did I make this wrong turn?
How do I change a thing I've done?(I don't know..)
Only one lesson learned

Comes to the light, comes to the light
Everything

-Jill Scott "Comes To Light"

Guilty, just as I suspected in the mad real world.

Real Suspect

2006-10-26T12:27:00.000-05:00

This will be a choppy read...sorry thinking out loud here...

There is a certain type of man I've always wanted. Most think I'm crazy but I've always been attracted to Suge Knight, Michael Clark Duncan, Ving Rhames, Vince Diesel, ex-linemen, type dudes. Men with meat and muscle on their bones preferably with a bald head.

Well low and behold who drops out of the sky but just what I want, like a gift from God or is it from the devil. The man is hot. The man is educated. The man is employed. The man is 6'2" approximately 260 lbs of muscle. Thick legs no pot belly. I love him or I want to love him but....there has to be a but...I don't trust how much he is in to me. I mean I can be arrogant like I used to be and just chalk it up as me being all that but I have a feeling there is a serious "something" which I'm missing lurking around the corner. I know he has 2 kids but I bet he is also married. Its something...why is a man this fine single? Most could say why is a woman this fine single as well...lol..so that isn't fair.

Is this man just to good to be true? I mean he isn't perfect he talks with a slight lisp...Which is kind of cute because he speaks such perfect English but every now and then you can hear it. This man has me mesmerized. I need help, I can't get lost in his spell but that man knows just what to say which makes my eyebrow raise.

I have good reason to keep my eyebrow raised, almost all of the women around me have had drama with their man. But maybe I should stop judging him for things he hasn't done and just get to know the man. Yeah that's what I'll do. Get to know him and stop making shit up. Cause if he is on bullshit I'll figure it out. I always do.

I wonder what will happen next in the mad real world.

"It's A Good Morning After All..."

2006-10-11T09:29:00.000-05:00

Did ya miss me? lol

Alright I know I've been gone for a minute, more like months but who's really counting. I had to get some things in order and the first thing was my health.
About 3 weeks ago I paid my doctor a visit. The old is everything in working order check up...Anywho my blood pressure was through the roof...160/140 to be exact. So they held me hostage in the hospital and scared the shit out of me. "Do you know how close you are to having a stroke?" my doctor asks me. "Um...No."

Anyway I stayed a couple of hours until my pressure went down to 143/120 which was still high so I had to come back in two days, see a nutritionist and see my doctor again. When I came back for a follow up visit my pressure was 132/113. I was out of the danger zone however, my doctor wanted me to make a few minor changes.

1. Step away from the Pizza Puffs, fried chicken, and double cheese burgers. Basically eat like a normal person. I'm telling you my eating habits were horrendous. I ate corn dogs and burritos and all types of shit for lunch and dinner. I did not eat breakfast, all of that has changed.
2. Exercise!

I can proudly say I have been sticking to my routine and haven't had fried chicken or a pizza puff in over three weeks and to tell the truth I haven't really missed it. But I'm not perfect. I'm good during the week but almost eat whatever I want on the weekend. I think this is the only way I will make it. At least to start. I doubt if I would be able to go cold turkey. I'm straight up living for the weekend though...lol

My friends have been straight up supportive and I appreciate it. I have several workout buddies. Special thanks to my homies Hassan, Troy, Evelyn, Stacy, Tish and big booty Judy. (lol)

So that's where I've been.

Trying to burn some fat in the mad real world.

Chicago Bloggers Meet (The Behind the Scenes Story)

2006-08-28T13:12:00.000-05:00

Alright I know most of you have probably already peep Insanely's post on us meeting last Friday at Leona's but let me fill in on a couple of blanks.

I was super salty about the ice cream fight and I don't wanna speak for Teej but I'm gonna I think he was too at the time. For those of you who don't know what the hell I'm talking about here are the main points.
-We (Teej, Insanely, and I) met at Leona's
-Deeds was supposed to come but didn't make it
-Insanely brought her peeps (Dub, Maine and Kita)
-I brought my homie Tracy
-Teej's boy Dave stopped by
-Our waitress was a heroin head or on some shit
-My chicken tenders were wack
-They don't serve honey mustard...not really important to this story but what the hell
-The waitress came back 30 minutes later after getting high (I'm pretty sure she was blowed)
-We played a little trivia game and laughed at each other
-The waitress messed up my girl's order
-We got discounted food and free Sundays

This is were the salt enters. Teej, Tracy and I passed on the free Sunday. Insanely and her crew said they'd like it. What began as a little splat of ice cream in the face of a friend turned into ice cream on the walls, floor, door, and almost on an older couple who were sitting behind us. Oh and did I mention all over my pink shirt!! That's right that shit was all over me and I was pissed. Let me tell you how that happened.

Insanely took off running after throwing a large amount of ice cream at Dub, well since Dub couldn't get Insanely he turns to me and says "Well since I couldn't get her I have to get somebody," and put a big splat of ice cream and all the trimmings on the right side and sleeve of my pink shirt. WHY!?! Why me...I don't even know you dude...I so had somewhere to go after this...now I have to take my black ass back to the west side and change clothes which totally fucks with my night since I was already on the south side. Aarrrgghhh!!!
So I took some of the ice cream that was on my shirt and slapped Dub on the back of the head with it.

The older black couple who was sitting behind us were not happy at all. And they gave Tracy, Teej and I the "you young people and your lack of consideration" speech. Which I was totally feeling because they were shown no respect. After 5 minutes of us apologizing for our friends behavior Teej turns to me and says "That's the west side for you." Now why does my side of town have to be blame for this, we were on the south side!!

I sent Insanely a text message telling her, her boy was bogus, she apologized but it wasn't her fault...completely...lol.

With the old folks giving us dirty looks I was so embarrassed but what else could I expect in the mad real world.

Random Thoughts

2006-08-10T09:18:00.000-05:00

I'm sitting here at work...just thinking

When does Justin Timberlake's album come out?
Who is this chick from London that everyone is talking about?
"Corinne Bailey Rae" I heard a song on yahoo, doesn't sound that great
I should apply to an art school get a B.A. and call it a day.
I really need to work on this weight loss thing
All this talk of skinny people being fat around here is making me sick.
Everyday I hear skinny bitches talking about how fat they are.
They even have the nerve to ask me if they look fat. BITCH!
Maybe I should go to night school. Like there is another choice.
A Master's in Fine Arts sounds good.
I hate school. That could be a problem.
You get the real money with the degree.
I'm sure hard work plays a part as well.
I wonder if I will need a letter of recommendation...
I'm sure I could get one of these folks around here to write me one.
I should start painting again
I'm gonna order some stuff from Jerry's when I get paid
Is T. still moving on Saturday, she hasn't called. I won't drop the TV, I promise.
I'm going to Great America on the 19th, I haven't been in years.
Its time for me to make my rounds but I don't feel like.
That Low-Carb high protein diet sounds like the shit.
I'm addicted to sugar.
Not in a candy way but in a Kool-Aid/Pepsi/Ice Cream/Honey Bun/Donut way.
Dude said I could eat meat and broccoli on the low carb joint.
I love meat and broccoli so I should be okay.
But I also love POP/SODA/KOOL-AID/CRYSTAL LIGHT WITH SUGAR SO IT TASTE LIKE KOOL-AID
Its been a long while since I've had sex.
Like two months...YIKES!
I don't even miss it, which is weird since I could of sworn I was addicted, to what the dick did...lol
After seeing HIM, I haven't had the desire to sleep with anyone else.
One of my old Negroes came over last night.
He wanted to come upstairs, I was like nah, I don't feel like it.
He looked a little hurt, I've never told him no.
Oh well, I can't help it I don't want you and you can't help it I don't want you...lol
Bastante...translation...Enough!

I'll catch ya'll later in the mad real world.

The Best/Worst/Most Exciting/Scary Weekend I've Ever Had (Part Two)

2006-08-01T12:11:00.000-05:00

Read Part One First Please...

Sunday

Tessa convinced me about a week ago to join her in a trip to Zion. Her sisters live up there and they invited her to the Jamaican Fest they were having. I said cool I would go. But to tell you the truth it wasn't the Jamaican Fest that interested me. It was the location. Zion is right next to Waukegan and Waukegan is where HE lives.

You know I had to call HIM and tell HIM that I would be in HIS area. I was so excited. It had been a year since we'd last seen each other. God I love that man. No matter what I do or who I try and pimp my heart remains HIS. I was so freaking nervous. I couldn't find my favorite sunglasses and I was so upset. I told Tessa, "I can't be fly without my sunglasses!" HE used to tell me I love your eyes, I hate when you wear sunglasses. Needless to say I didn't wear sunglasses. My sunglasses are my protection you can't read my eyes if I have on sunglasses. You can't see what I am really thinking if I have on sunglasses.

Anyway, we played phone tag a bit that day. HE was trying to figure out where I was at...I was trying to figure out where I was at...lol
I finally made it to the Jamaican Fest an hour late...and I called HIM, "I'm here, where you at?"
He said, "I'm right here, standing in line." As he said that my eyes made contact with his and I swear ya'll all the drama that I've been through this past last year vanished. I felt like a weight had been lifted off of me and I was no longer nervous. I just felt good, actually better than good, I felt great.

HE hugged me and he wore that scent that I love and I just could have melted in his arms. I thought to myself, "now this is a man." I let go eventually, even though I didn't want to. He got something to eat, offered me some but I couldn't eat I was just happy to see him. I wanted to jump on him like a little kid or do a happy dance or something but I contained myself. I totally ditched Tessa and her family but they understood.

Man I was on cloud nine and I still am. I haven't come down yet. Just seeing him erased all the other dudes I've met in the past year. I swear that this is the man I'm supposed to be with. Anyway I could go on about him forever but I'll stop for now...Cause Sunday night got a little crazy.

It was time to leave. The Jamaican Fest was winding down. I walked him to the car and we hugged again. I didn't want him to go but I was riding with Tessa and she was ready to head back to her sister's house so...We said our good byes.

We headed back to Tessa's sisters house and then things got crunk! These fools made a liquor run and then bust out the Barcardi and began to get their drink on. HE called me. I went outside and we talked for an hour. I wanted him to come over but at the same time I didn't want to be pushy...he always said I was a bit bratty...lol Anyway...focus...While I was outside talking these fools were getting busted. They were supposed to be cooking dinner but their mother and oldest sister ended up doing it.

By the time 11 o'clock came Tessa was busted and so was one of her younger sisters. Then they started doing what I would like to call a drunken parade. They would go outside and march around the block being loud and stumbling all over the place. They were like, "C'mon Me-lee, come with us." I was like, "Nah I think you have to be drunk to be in the parade."...lol
I ended up going with them on their last march. I actually ended up holding them both up. One on each arm...I was like, "Oh great I get to be the stabilizer, aren't I lucky."

Anyway, between me and their niece and nephew we convinced them to come back in the house and chill out. Tessa did as asked but her sister wasn't ready to come in, so she dragged her niece who is close to her age out on one more march...except 10 minutes passed, then 15, then 20, then 25. I got worried and I woke Tessa up, who was slowly becoming herself again. We went looking for them...all over. Low and behold we find them, the niece was struggling trying to pick her aunt up, who is only 22, 5'7" maybe a 150lbs.

The girl was so drunk she decided to lay down in the middle of the grass. People this ain't the city we in....there was a forest preserve not 15 feet away. Who knows what's in that grass at Midnight. So me being all strong and mighty and not drunk I picked her up only to have her dead weight be so heavy I dropped her ass...Oops...lol

Her mother came out and said just let her lay here, I will stay out here with her. I was like its cool Momma Lola we will all stay with you. So we stayed. But to Tessa's and my surprise a car approached music banging. Earlier the niece said that she (the aunt) called her boyfriend, I said let me guess that is her boyfriend coming now. Of course it was. The man pulled up in one of them '92 Impala's, put the car in park, got out, opened the passenger door, picked her up, put her in the car, closed the door, got back in, and drove the fuck off. The man didn't say not one word to Momma Lola, me, Tessa, anyone. I was like WTF? What the hell just happened. Dude was real grimey looking too.

That shit was weird to me. Her passing out near the forest was weird to me. I was like man, rolling with Tessa is definitely an adventure.
We left Zion around 1 o'clock in the morning. Momma Lola asked if we were coming back for the Afro Fest in a couple of weeks. I thought of HIM and immediately said yes. Hell if at all possible I will be back before then...lol...Waukegan just isn't as far away as I thought it was, I think there might be hope for he and I just yet.

The Best/Worst/Most Exciting/Scary Weekend I've Ever Had

2006-07-31T12:09:00.000-05:00

As you can probably guess from the title. My weekend was interesting to say the least.
So much happened in two days I don't know where to start. I'll give it a shot tho'. This is a long one...TRUST.

Saturday

My girl Tessa (pictured here) was eager to go out to a club, so we went to the mall to pick her out something fly. I didn't want anything cause I had no intention of going. I was not feeling it. She kept begging and pleading and I finally said okay I will kick it for a minute with ya. She was excited. So we stopped by my place so I could get changed.

Then we headed up North to her boyfriend's house. We're driving along Lakeshore Drive at 100+ miles an hour in a red 2006 Mustang when all of a sudden a Impala starts to inch over into the lane we are flying in. And when I say inch over I do mean inch over. I've never seen anyone switch lanes so slow. Anyway, Tessa didn't stop she just moved over as the Impala got so close I could've put lip stick on the elderly lady who was driving. The lady continued to come over into our lane almost grinding us into the side railing. Tessa honked non-stop. The old lady obviously didn't see us but heard the honking and got back in her lane. That lady was "drifting one a memory" cause she was in another world thank God she didn't hit us, cause we were going to fast. That's incident one.

Tessa starts drinking once we get to her boyfriend's house. She wanted to start the party before we went to the club. Cool. I'm not really a drinker so I just had some Bacardi and coke, which I didn't finish cause I had a feeling I needed to be on point. We get her boyfriend to take us to the Ice Bar...womp, womp. As we pulled up I said, "I don't like the looks of this joint." Tessa tipsy says, "Awe come on Millie." So I go ahead, I'll try not to be a party pooper. We call this nigga we work with, he is the one who invited us or shall I say her. I'm extra baggage...lol
Prior to all this we called dude we work with who shall now be called "Mr. Puss Ass" and asked him what was the cover. He tells us there isn't one for ladies tonight. Cool.

We get to the door and the bouncers are eying Tessa. Talking bout what they would do to her all loud and shit. I'm getting pissed because it is totally disrespectful, she doesn't notice cause she is drunk. So now I feel like I'm her handler or cock blocker and I didn't want that role I'm just trying to kick it. But I hate to hear men speak to women in a vulgar manner. So I'm getting pissed. Tessa is grown but to me she is still a kid and these niggas were old, some more puss ass niggas to add to the bunch. We get past them fools only to find out ladies don't get in free. Its 15bux well my dumb ass didn't bring no cash. I figured I'd just charge whatever I wanted. Okay fine I asked if there was an ATM around they said yeah right next door. Cool. As we are about to leave out "Mr. Puss Ass" says, nah cuz we got ya'll c'mon back in. Cool. He hands dude some money but what do you know he was on some slick shit. It wasn't enough cash and dude figured it out. He was like nah ya'll got to pay up or we getting the bouncers. I'm like great, let's just go to the ATM Tessa damn...they on some bullshit, they ain't go pay for us.

So I drag her drunk ass out to the ATM. Now she's pissed and her Puerto Rican side rears its ugly head...lol. She gets to cussing and talking about how she ain't never paid to get into shit and yadda, yadda, yadda. I tell her that gray eyed I'm pretty shit ain't working tonight muthafucka....lol...let's go. We get the cash and try to head back in, one of the bouncers point to the back of the line. I was like whatever, the a nice chick who was standing in line with her girls was like ya'll can get in front of us, we saw what happened. I was like cool thank you, but the bouncer was like, "Nah they have to get to the back." Let me tell you the line wasn't even long ya'll. It was like 6 people out there and 4 of them was with old girl who said we could get in front of them. So the nigga was trying to fuck with us. I turned to Tessa and said, "I'm ready to go."

She finally gets it and we catch a cab. She says, "Millie, there is another spot I always go to I promise we will get in for free." I'm like Tessa I've had enough. She's like trust me. Okay. That's incident two.

We go to this place on Halstead called "Redno" they have a $50 cover. But what do you know Tessa knows these muthafuckers, we get in for free. It's a mostly white and Arab club but they playing the hits which throws me off. I didn't hear any whitey music all night. They were juking. I still wasn't happy tho' I was fucked up about what happened earlier. Tessa started drinking some more and made a friend this chick that works there name Kenya. This chick was cool as hell ya'll and had me rolling (not on X) the entire night. We were cracking up laughing at whitey dancing off bet. Come to find out she is from the westside like me and that's when we really started tripping out. She saved my night. We laughed at Tessa's half black, half Puerto Rican dancing...sometimes she was on beat and sometimes she was off beat...lol But it was funny and I had a good time finally.

That was just Saturday. Sunday had its own crazy/happy moments. I'm gonna get to that in a minute. I'm gonna take a break. Then I'll finish this crazy weekend up.

I Love My Job!

2006-07-25T18:26:00.000-05:00

We just had a "ghetto fabulous" block party in the middle of downtown Chicago. It appears that the company I work for thrives on getting its employees drunk.
Let me tell you how these white folks get down.

They took over the lobby and the sidewalks all around the building.
They had 8 bartenders serving all types of alcoholic beverages, beers, Hennessey, and for those who know my company Jack Daniels was definitely in the house among many others
They had coconut shrimp, little garlic bread sandwiches, little fancy pizzas, Garrett's popcorn, and to top it off Chicago's finest Vienna Hot Dogs. What a fucking mix. The menu made no sense but I loved it.
The DJ was bumping. I was looking around like, "These white people really know how to get down."

To say the least I maxed (ate good) drank, and danced. I can't wait for the next "happy hour" in September.
It was a good time in the mad real world.

Heavenly Father

2006-07-11T16:59:00.000-05:00

I have the Devil in me....don't laugh its true. I need some serious help over here.
I took advantage of my young hopelessly sprung on Name ex-boyfriend. I ought to be 'shamed and I am.

I had a really bad day at work yesterday. It was full of Name do this, Name do that, Name could you, Name would you...etc. Well when I got home I figured I needed a little stress relief. If you know what I mean...If you don't know what I mean...I"M TALKIN" BOUT SEX NEGRO!!! Sorry, I feel a little Dave Chappelle ish. Anywho I called up my ex cause I knew he would do what I asked with the least hesitation.

I USED THIS POOR BOY...I say boy because he is younger than me...did I mention that before...I think I did...Anywho, I was telling that boy everything and anything he wanted to hear just as long as he didn't stop strokin'... and lickin'...and...Ummm my bad....THAT IS SO BAD!!!

I just wanted to blow off a little steam and get rid of a little stress not get back into a relationship that was all wrong for me, but the boy can lay that pipe...ya mean? Sorry. See I need an intervention, I'm so out of control. I would throw myself on the alter but that would be pointless because the next day I would be at it again. So I figure don't front if you truly ain't ready to change.

I'm livin' foul ya'll...BUT IT FEELS SO DAMN GOOD.

I'm just being selfish. I'm not even considering his feelings. I don't want to hurt the poor boy. But I know I am cause I'm not all in love with him. I just wanted some dick!! ARrrrghh!!!

It's official, I'm outta control in the mad real world.

Let Me Tell You What An Old Nigga Told Me

2006-07-06T08:45:00.000-05:00

I was talking to one of my ex-beaus the other day and this negro had the nerve to say that I have an unusually high sex drive. I was like, "Yeah right, whatever man!" I totally disagree. He claims that if a man is working and not living with you then you should only expect sex once a week.

I was totally shocked to hear that number. Once a week! I'm sorry but I need it a little more often than once a week. But now that I think about it there has only been one guy who was able to keep up with me and he is younger than me. I tend to only get it once a week, hell if that, from the negro I'm dealing with now and that is some bullshit. I want more damn it!

Gotdamn I'm spilling the beans today...oh well...

Anyway last night I was with old boy chillin' at my crib. I let him hit cause he's good at it but like 20 minutes later I wanted to go again.

(He and I went to the Taste of Chicago yesterday and I was so aggravated by him. He was just talking and talking and I totally wasn't listening to a word he was saying. That's weird for me because I'm usually a great listener...anywho)

Do you know this negro had the nerve to tell me, "I'm tired it's been a rough week." I was like WHAT!?! How old are you man? (24) C'mon you got to be shittin' me you can't go again...AHHH I HATE YOU! I didn't say that but that's what I was thinking. The man fell asleep in my bed all huddled next to my boobs like a newborn. I let him sleep for an hour...he was lucky I was watching Austin Powers. Then I was like man its time to go...if you ain't giving it up you gots to get out of my bed, hell I might as well go to sleep too. I'm the one who has to be at work at the crack of dawn. He doesn't have to be in until 10 womp womp.

I'm getting mad just thinking about that shit....

The original point to this post was to ask if having sex 3 times a week was a lot to ask from a man who is working and doesn't live with you? Hell I think it's just good business...lol

I wonder what the "Have You Ever" nigga would say in the mad real.

Have You Ever...?

2006-06-26T14:49:00.000-05:00

I'm bored so I'm just gon' start spilling the beans...lol

Have you ever met a man who just oozed sexiness? I mean he wasn't the most attractive man you've ever met but at the same time he had this confidence that just...ummm...made you lose your train of thought.

Have you ever been on the telephone with one of your homies, while he was at your house?

Have you ever thought that he wouldn't mind you talking to your homie for a minute?

Have you ever had him start kissing and sucking on your neck and it felt so good that you had to get off the phone immediately...mid sentence..like "Yeah girl I wouldn't worrrrrrr...I'll call you back."

Have you ever felt lips so soft you questioned the softness of your own?

Have you ever had a man be just the right amount of aggressive, the type of aggressive that is more like persuasive?

I could keep going but I think I will stop there for now.

Let's just say I have...all of the above and I might get into trouble with this one in the mad real world.

A Poem by Someone Other Than A Poet

2006-06-23T09:55:00.000-05:00

This has no real flow but these broads are being difficult so I decided to express myself in a different manner.

Good Morning Work?

Rough black people at my job;
Watch my morning fly.
What are you looking at
With that super caffeine in your hand.

That tired weeve
Looking as tired as you
Maybe you should share your caffeine
With your hair.

Hey "sister"
A good morning would be nice
But that's too hard
Cause you're not white.

I smile,
You look
My smile,
You just took.

You're selfish
So I become an Indian giver
And take my smile back
Cause I'm not white either

Black on black crime ya'll in the mad real world.

The Pimp Has Left The Building

2006-06-20T22:12:00.000-05:00

I am turning in my pimp membership. I no longer belong to the elite group.

I went to the eye doctor the other day to pick up some contacts. They never have my prescription in stock. I'm so blind that they have to place a special order for me. I'm used to it. However they normally give me trial pair of something not to far off from my prescription. Not this time. This time they are running low on trial contacts.

So I say to myself I can't make it another day with the contacts that I have they are killing my eyes. So I decide that it is time to buy some glasses. I get my prescription from that place and head on over to Pearl Vision. So I pay an arm and a leg for some glasses just so I can see when I go to work. I haven't worn glasses in over ten years. I now remember why. My eyes are so bad that my glasses are coke bottles. Not exaggerating here. I can see outer space with these bitches. I can also see what you are thinking and this shit ain't funny.

I can't wait until my contacts are delivered.

Check the before and after pic

I'm still a boss though in the mad real world.

Part Two

2006-06-15T15:48:00.000-05:00

So I had to break the date with psycho and it wasn't pretty.
He called me at the crack of dawn, now ya'll know before the job I have now I didn't wake up until 11, 12, or even 1 in the afternoon.

Anyway, I was like "Hello?"
He: Yeah I just wanted to tell you don't look at your offline messages.
Me: Huh, what do you mean? (Still half asleep)
He: Just promise that when you get on the net you will delete the messages I sent you offline.
Me: Okay. (BLATANT LIE) Let me call you back when I get up.
He: Okay.

I ran to my computer to see what this nut job sent. I had about 5 offline messages all that read something like..."You are not who I thought you were. You just missed out on a good thing. You'll never find anyone like me, you are so stupid..."yadda yadda yadda etc etc. I was like hell nah you little fucker. So I called him back calm and collected.

He: Hey beautiful.
Me: Aye Maine we ain't gon' be able to go out tonight.
He: What? Why?
Me: Look dude you a little to deep for me.
He: What do you mean?
Me: Well I already detect some traits that I don't get down with at all. You sending up red flags on my end.
He: I don't understand.
Me: You are to possessive and I don't even know you.
He: This is the dumbest shit I have ever heard.
Me: You should hear what I'm hearing.
He: Well fuck you then.
Me: Awe suck a dick you crazy bitch. I hung up.

Luckily he didn't call back and it didn't get out of hand at least not to bad. But two years later which was two days ago I get this on my new Blackplanet page...

What's Good With You?
How is everything going with you beautiful? My name is Tyvan, and I am a 24 year old black male from Chicago Illinois, hitting you up because I liked what I read and saw. I am single with no kids, and I am a college graduate also. If you wanna talk, then hit me up, I have yahoo IM(supremegemini)...Look forward to talking to MsNeo-Soul <--My screen name. A few minutes later I get this... Another thing
I have never gotten my butt kicked in any video game by a woman, lol....So I would like to take you up on that challenge if we got further in conversation and meeting each other, lol.

I say to myself it couldn't be, but then again he wouldn't recognize me because I no longer have a perm or blonde hair. I check his Blackplanet page and find that it is indeed Crazy Ass! I don't say anything to his notes on BP, I then get this...
You're Bogus
I think that's wrong that you viewed my page and didn't send me a note back, I saw you on my page log..I was really feeling you, but if you're not interested in me, I can't help that, but you could have still sent a note saying something..If it's because I don't have a pic, well I do have them, I just don't have time to put it on here...So that's on you...because you still are a beautiful queen, and if you want to talk, my yahoo IM(supremegemini) or you can call me at(312) 823-8715..But if I am not your type you feel, I hope you find that king that will match your crown..Holla back

I then send him a note and say...
I see you haven't changed Mr. Smith.

I get...
And I still see with all of your neo soul talk that you are impolite and very conceited. Have a great life, and don't think I dont' who you are..be more humble in life, you will go further.Peace

He doesn't have the slightest idea who I am because if he did he would have called me by my name like I did him. I sent him another note saying...
LMAO!

I tell you boy just when you thought it was safe to go back in the kitchen here comes the coch-a-rochezz...lol

And that was a college graduate folks...there sure are a lot of good educated men out here in the mad real world.

Some Things Will Never Change

2006-06-13T16:57:00.000-05:00

I never told ya'll about this sick-o who tried to holla at me a few years back. This nigga straight flipped his lid. He just popped back up today and his ass is still crazy, but this is how I found his crazy ass or shall I say he found me...

He was one of them Blackplanet niggas...one of the worst kind, a stalker, a crazy stalker. There is a difference between a regular stalker and a crazy one. A regular stalker just wants to know where you are all the time and calls you a billion times a day. This negro wanted more. This could be a long story but I'll try to make it short.

He saw my page on Blackplanet and thought I was the shit...like most men...lol. Anywho, we started talking back and forth on Yahoo IM and he seemed like a cool dude. I decided to give him my number...WRONG, WRONG, WRONG thing to do. We talked at approx. 2 in the afternoon. The conversation was going well, I was like alright this brother seems straight. We got off the phone and I told him, "I'll call you later." WRONG, WRONG, WRONG!!!

At approx. 7pm some friends dropped by unexpectedly in town, home on leave from the Navy. I hadn't seen them broads in like 2 years, and them was my homies in High School. So we laughing and talking then all of a sudden "RING!" I answer the phone, "Can I speak to NameLiar?" This is she. "What are you doing?" Actually I'm talking to some of my friends who are home from the Navy can I call you back? "Okay"

8pm "RING" "Can I speak to NameLiar?" Yeah man this me, (starting to get aggravated here) my homies are still here let me call you back. "Okay"
My girls looked at me like "DAMN, who the fuck is that pimpin'?"

8:30 "RING" "You obviously aren't the person I thought you were!" I look at the phone and then say, "stop playing" I just realized it was April fools day. He ignores me and continues, "I thought you were the type of person who puts your man first!" I laugh still thinking this was a joke and say, "Man quit playing let me call you back later."

9:00 "RING" Okay this shit ain't funny no more. "They still there, damn?" I say yeah, he's like alright. At this point I'm like WTF?

11:00 I call that nigga. I ask him what the hell is his problem? Then he starts going on about how I should put my man over my friends. I'm like what man? I don't even know you. I just talked to you today. I've never met you. These are my homies and they have been with me through thick and thin. I ain't seen these broads in 2 years, sorry but they come first. DUH!!!
He then says, Broads? They are some girls? I'm like yeah nigga my homies. I thought it was some dudes. I laugh but say to myself, "Awe HELL NAH this Nigga is crazy!"

Earlier that day I made a date to see him the next day. I had to break that shit and oh boy did all hell break loose. I'll tell you about that tomorrow though.

The dead has arizen in the mad real world.

Take Me Out To The Ball Game

2006-06-07T08:40:00.000-05:00

Why for did Dee-Dee, Deeds, for those who know her...lol...invite me to a White Sox game this past Sunday? Why did I go and have a blast? LMAO

First you should have seen us. Neither one of us had on a drop of black and white...okay I had on a little white. Deeds showed up in pink and I had on this green and yellow jacket. It was hillarious neither one of us was gonna get lost in the crowd. The only person who showed any type of team support out of the group was her nephew Matt, who wore a White Sox shirt.

We have to be the worst game watchers in the history of the game. After the national anthem and the little girl screaming, "Play ball!" and then crying cause everyone was looking at her, Deeds and I sat down and started talking. We didn't even notice the game had started. We were just going on and on until the crowd started cheering. We were like what the hell just happened...lol

Anywho...we were groofing around..."Leanin' wit it and rockin' wit it" whenever Jermaine Dye came up to bat. Hollering out "GO GOOCH!" whenever Tadahito Iguchi came up to bat. Buying cotton candy and not eating it all...Deeds ate all of the blue cotton candy out of her bag and I ate all of the pink out of my bag...lol

I don't know what the point of this story is but all in all I must do more sporting events with Deeds...we didn't know what the hell was really going on but we had a blast.

"Go Gooch!" in the mad real world.

Tag Lady

2006-06-05T19:33:00.000-05:00

TAGGAGE...not a real word I know...lol

How well do you know me?? For instance, did you know...

*Four jobs I've have had in my life*:

1. Receptionist

2. Product Specialist

3. Office Assistant

4. Bum...I did nothing for a good period of time...lol

*Four movies I [would] watch over and over*:

1. The Color Purple
2. Notebook

3. Wedding Crashers

4. Any one of Tyler Perry's Plays on DVD

*Four places I have lived:*

1. Chicago southside

2. Chicago westside
3. Chicago northside

4. Oak Park

*Four TV shows I love to watch:*

1. I'm watching Dawson's Creek on DVD repeatedly...lol

2. Grey's Anatomy

3. Desperate Housewives

4. Hell's Kitchen...new season starts June 13

*Four places I have been on vacation:*

1. Puerto Rico

2. Canada
3. Aruba

4. Mexico

*Four websites I visit daily:*

1. Yahoo
2. My Blog

3. My Space

4. NBC 5...gotta check the weather

*Four of my favorite foods*:

1. Anything related but not limited to a taco...lol

2. Italian...pasta, bread, beef, etc whatever they cook is good

3. Twinkies

4. O-R-E-Os need I say more.

*Four places I would rather be right now:*

1. Puerto Rico

2. Laying in my bed watching Dawson's Creek eating OREOs

3. With a rich man who adores me and wants to spend his hard earned money on me....lol

4. On somebodies white beach...it doesn't matter what country.

*Name 4 friends that I think will respond:*

1. Who

2. So

3. Ever

4. Will

Now you've been tagged.

Been So Long

2006-05-30T15:38:00.000-05:00

It's been quite some time since I last blogged...almost a month. Here are the updates...

Dating a negro and I'm not completely happy. The Nig is a little selfish. Now hollering at some other negroes.

Wasn't making enough money at my job, got me a new one and quit the old. I've moved out of retail and back into the office. I couldn't help it that's where the real money is and sometimes a little stress but so far so good I think I might avoid that at this gig.

Its hot as hell in Chicago. I'm bout to die. It went from 60 to 90 overnight. WTF!! I was so not prepared.

By the way I met Insanely and she is cool as hell.
But anywho that is the month of May in a nutshell.

I'll try and keep ya'll up to date more often in the mad real world.

Its My Blog And I Know What The Fuck I'm Saying!!

2006-05-08T22:36:00.000-05:00

To all my regular visitors, my homies, my peeps, I've just had another blogger refer to me as ignorant. Here we go! You know what that makes me want to do. SNAP, CRACKLE, and POP!! But I will try to conduct myself in a civil matter.

Olawunmi decided to read one of my old post from August 25, 2005. When he read this...

"5. Tell the random Nigerians who find me through yahoo to step the fuck off, yes I know I am the most beautiful woman you have ever seen but I am still not going to marry your black ass. What the hell man, I watched Hotel Rwanda they ain't about to mistake my yellow ass for no Tutsi."

He responded with...
"you're just ignorant. we don't have tutsis in nigeria!!! damn. don't know whether to laugh or cry!"

Now he has alleged that I, NameLiar, the bossiest of bosses is ignorant. Normally as a boss I would just say "FUCK YOU, YOU LIMP DICK PUSS ASS MUTHAFUCKA," but I will refrain from using such words and explain what I said for all the people on the short yellow bus.

First, I very well know that there aren't any Tutsis in Nigeria. (Then again there could be its called migration, we have Tutsis here so how far fetched is it to believe that there are some in Nigeria) I know the Tutsis are from Rwanda. The movie is called Hotel Rwanda...lol...common sense tells me that if I knew nothing else.
However, when I said that they weren't about to "mistake my yellow ass for a Tutsi" I was implying that if a color war broke out and Nigeria split into two sides light verses dark I wasn't about to be mistaken for anyone else.

Now I don't know if the lighter skinned Nigerians are grouped or if they have a name but I used the name Tutsi because everyone here or shall I say I believe the majority of my regular readers know that the Tutsi represented the lighter skinned Rwandians. I am also aware that there are more distinctions between the Hutu and the Tutsis but lets not even go there.

Second, it was a joke. Jokes don't have to be fact, if they were they would be called just that a fact. A joke is something that was started or is based in truth but is twisted into an obscure view. In other words lighten up.

Now let's get down to the real problem. What are you going to do about those damn Nigerians who harrass me on Yahoo. I mean what are you going to do about their ignorance on the topic of American culture, or better yet the African American culture, just because they tell a black woman she's beautiful doesn't mean she belongs to them or even wants to belong to them. LMAO! You know I don't know whether to laugh or to cry.

I think that was very civilized for me, I've been known to say worse in the mad real world.

That Ain't The Shit You Say To A BOSS!!!

2006-05-02T22:08:00.000-05:00

Alright first if you haven't heard Kelis' new song "Bossy" then you won't understand why I call myself a boss...Download it...It's my Spring/Summer anthem for now.

Anywho, let me tell ya'll what went down with this new nigga I'm hollerin' at. We chillin' at my house watching a little TV all snuggled up when the commercial for the new Tomb Raider video game comes on (don't fucking start on me about playing video games). Anyway, I'm all like "oooh I want that!" Like a little ass kid and do you know what this nigga has the nerve to say to me. No don't try to guess I'll tell you. He says, "Oh I guess you will buying that with your next check."

WTF!!! I repeat WHAT THE FUCK!!! I play it cool and say, "Nah I have to pay bills with the next check." He replies, "Well you can get it with the check after that." Hell nah muthafucker. I don't believe this nigga. I can get it with "MY check." What the fuck does my check have to do with anything. Alright so now I'm pissed off and you know that nigga didn't get any pussy and still hasn't gotten any. I'm givin' up the good shit and this nigga wants to get all stingy. FUCK THAT or shall I say NOT!!!

Just to make sure I'm not crazy...If your significant other showed a major interest in anything...would you attempt to get it for them? Fellas if ya girl was up in arms about a video game would you grab it for her? Well if ya girl was me...lol

I tell you somebody always creates a situation where I have to let off a little steam in the mad real world.

If This Bitch Calls Off One More Time!!!

2006-04-21T08:57:00.000-05:00

I'm awaken by a loud ass ring. I assume it is one of my mother's friends since she is the only one who is normally up at this hour, but no. Its my supervisor. "Millie I need you to come in this morning Ms. Kiss-Ass called off." Awe hell nah...every fucking time I get a break this bitch calls off. Even when we work opposite shifts (she opens, I close) she calls me talking bout can I come in she needs to leave early. Fuck that if your ass can't work your hours you need to step down to part time.

I'll tell ya'll what's really going on. Ms Kiss-Ass was doing just what her name implies, kissing a whole lot of managerial ass in hopes of a greater raise or promotion. SIKE!!! Whitey handed it to her straight, told her she was a nigga just like the rest of us. (I really don't consider myself a nigger but for the purpose of this story it seemed the appropriate way to describe how whitey looks at us)

So she thought she was gonna be taking my supervisor's job. I was like hell nah if she does that then I'm quitting I can't work for that bitch, she has the nastiest, smart-ass, talk down to you tone. Well evaluation day finally came and they told her that if ...I repeat IF they promote her they would promote her out of the store and if again with the IF...If they did promote her it wouldn't be until September. This was from her mouth, this is what she said they told her. I was like DAMN they treated her ass. (Can you infer from the context what treated means...its not a treat at all...lol)

So anyway every since then she has been calling off and leaving early and showing up late. Obviously the bitch isn't happy...poor baby, but guess what I'm not coming in to cover her ass...FUCK THAT! I got the same number on my evaluation that she got, a four and I didn't have to kiss any ass or do any extra work so I'm not about to start.

I hope this bitch kicks rocks in the mad real world.

I Almost Had A Fit (Doing Something I Had No Business Doing)

2006-04-20T11:17:00.000-05:00

I almost lost my cool last night...okay I did in fact loose my cool last night. Let's set up the scenario.

I'm in my room with this hot negro....lol. Things are getting a little hot and steamy. *Ding Dong* Somebody's at the door. Its my best friend with her hollering baby....I'm thinking to myself..."No, no, not tonight, beat it!" Of course she didn't beat it, she came in, sat down, and fell asleep on the couch.

Now as most of you know I don't live alone. I live with my mother and 3 sisters. They were all tucked away except for one sister whose boyfriend was over. At first my sister and her boyfriend were in the front of the house in the computer room but then when the hollering baby came they moved to the TV room which is towards the back of the house and just so happens to be one room away from mine. So I had to stop what I was trying to do which pissed me off.

You know you get mad when you are about to get some and then can't. I was so frustrated. Then I decided to play the let's just do it quietly game...that wasn't exactly fun...like five times in mid-stroke we had to stop because the floor creaked outside my room. I was like "FUCK!!" I actually had a tantrum in my room. But finally after a lot of sneaking we got it done and I actually had an orgasm and it was great....suck on that suckers!! Hollering babies and all the interruptions I still came out on top...literally...lol

I gots to get mine in the mad real world or else I'm not a happy camper.

Lettin' Off A Little Steam...

2006-04-01T12:36:00.000-06:00

I know I have been tagged...a long long while ago...I'm gonna get to it. My internet was down and as I've stated before my computer is a crack whore. Anyway I have to get this off my chest before I attempt to do the tag.

This nig...don't use the "N" word, but I really think he is a nig...okay forget it. Why fo' this nigga I ain't talked to in ages popped up today on yahoo...peep the conversation.

Sidney: Hey, How are doing?
NameLiar: I'm great and you?
Sidney: I'm doing good.
NameLiar: I'm glad to hear it
NameLiar: Its been a while since I've seen you online
Sidney: Yes, I know I been busy.
NameLiar: I feel you
Sidney: So, what have you been up to, lately?
NameLiar: Nothing much really
NameLiar: mostly work
NameLiar: trying to keep to myself...tired of BS
Sidney: Yeah, I know what you mean.
NameLiar: So how is Indiana treating you?
Sidney: It's alright, nothing fabulous. And you.
NameLiar: Chi-town is quickly warming up which is usually when all the fun begins
Sidney: well, it's kind of cold. So, how's the family?
NameLiar: the family is fine...how about yours?
Sidney: Everything, still the same. (Pay attention)
NameLiar: I feel you
Sidney: What's a good time for us to hang out?
NameLiar: I don't know
NameLiar: when are you coming to the city?
Sidney: Maybe, tomorrow. Why?
NameLiar: because you said when? so I figured whenever you come to the city
NameLiar: tomorrow isn't good for me tho'
Sidney: Why is it not a good time for you?
NameLiar: busy
NameLiar: Church and work
NameLiar: u going to church?
Sidney: Well, I just seeing how you were doing. I have to go now, my fiance' and are are going out for the day.
NameLiar: wow u got a fiance?...lol
NameLiar: well good luck
NameLiar: later

Now all of a sudden, since I was busy he has a fiance...I just laughed. The nigga really needs to quit. All these pussy muthafuckas in the mad real world.

Not For The Faint Of Heart!!! Trust ME

2006-03-21T18:15:00.000-06:00

I'm sitting here in my apartment mad as hell. Evil and hatred want to spew from my tongue like the evil bitch in the exorcist. Grab a shield here comes the vomit.

I talked to a drug dealer last night. Some nigga named Marcus. Is it just me or are drug dealers the most philosophical muthafuckers on the planet? This "man" had the nerve to say that a wise man once told him...STOP..."a wise man told him" what, was this muthafucker kicking it with Gandhi last night? And if he was kicking it with a wise man I think the first thing he would have told you was to stop selling drugs...RIGHT!!! Anywho who gives a fuck about him...I'm so disgusted with the percentage of black men who sale drugs I don't give a fuck what the rhyme or reason.

My best friend is having a mental breakdown or so she says and she is dragging me with her...while everyone is checking her ass I'm the one about to crack...or maybe not I have enough sense to vent here.

My computer sucks I swear it is on crack. I hate it...that's why I am typing hard as hell on you now you little piece of shit...fuck ya memory and your hard drive ya two dollar hoe.

My aunt asked if I was going to vote...I don't even want to talk about that shit.

The dating pool sucks...congrats to all the married people but then again with all the cheating and down low shit no fucking body is safe...Watch ya ass, AIDS is a muthafucka and the stats are ridiculous...makes you want to put your shit on lock...condom my ass. Hi I'm paranoid anyone care to join.

So if you've read this much of what I've written you might as well know what I really feel like writing is "AHHHHHHHH! FUCK YO COUCH NIGGA FUCK YO COUCH!" *NameLiar jumping up and down on brand new white sofa*

This has been another public breakdown to join with those of Mariah Carey, Whitney Houston and all of the other crazy bitches who have no real reason to have a breakdown...Thank you and goodnight.
P.S. I killed AimHigher.
Hide-dee Ho in the mad real world.

Overexposed!

2006-03-06T18:22:00.000-06:00

Ya girl has a page on blackplanet. Don't ask. Check out what men really want me to respond to...Wait first read what I say on my page...go to blackplanet.com my screen name is MsNeo-Soul. If you have the time, if not I'll wrap it up for you. It basically says I'm educated, funny, and don't have time for any bullshit. And this is what I get in return.

WELL I WAS READING YOUR PAGE AND AM FEELING YOU SO CAN YOU READ MINE AND GET BACK TO ME PLEASE LOVE MR.WILD(Age: 24)

HEY SWEETIE! HOW ARE YOU? I AM TRYING TO MAKE A FRIEND! CAN YOU BE MY FRIEND? HOLLA BACK.....(Age:Unknown)

I think I know you, you work at leamington's food. I remember trying to holla at you about a year and some ago. I still see you now when I come up there. (Age:23) Mistaken identity...I don't work there fool.

if interested and a freak holla back (Age: 25)

hello baby how are you doing i am fine im very single and freaky but that not want i want so how come you are single please write back very soon im from waterloo iowa (Age:35)
I wrote him and said, "Hi, how are you?...why are you single?" He responded with.
hey thanks for writeing me i am single cause the women say that i am to ugly and some just do not like me at all so that why i want to try you if you give me a chance with you please i think you look very nice and you deserve some one like me in your life please write back.
Yeah I really deserve an ugly man in my life...Thanx buddy, I just feel all warm and tinga-lee inside...how bout we get married...Crazy mutha...I hope you can feel the sarcasm, its very heavy in my mind...lol

WHAT IT DO MA DAMN U LOOK SEXY AS HELL IM SAYING COME HOLLA AT ME 1(Age:21)

That was just the tip of the iceberg folks. I'm trying to figure out how is that supposed to attract a woman. I tell you it is truly hard out here for a pimp. I'll keep, keepin' on in the mad real world.

"I Have Nothing..."

2006-03-03T16:34:00.000-06:00

Alright the title is a lie I have a lot, but what I don't have is anything to write about. Every other day I start to write a post and then I stop. Here are the last five I've started but never finished. Peep this...

1. Horses Anyone?

I have been debating on whether or not to create a "stable" or "roster." There have been a couple of guys who have been coming at me with the friends with benefits offer. The latest one is a cop. The man is fine as hell but I don't trust police officers. That man could cluck me upside the head with a 2x4 and all his cop buddies would cover it up. I don't think I'll be able to deal with his ass. But at the same time the offer is very tempting especially with the drought I have self induced.

2. Obviously I Don't Want To Holla!

I'm at a clothing store in the greater Chicagoland area minding my own business looking for a jogging suit. I'm not going to jog anywhere but I still want one. Now I just so happen to be looking in the men's section of the store for said jogging suit because I want a red, black, and gray one or maybe a tan one something with Sean John or Rocawear on it...lol

Anywho, as I am minding my own business this dude says, "Take those sunglasses off there is no sun in here." (y'all know I love the hell out of some sunglasses) I'm thinking to myself oh boy here we go.
"Hey cutie what are you doing over here?"
"Looking for a jogging suit." Leave me alone
"Ain't nothing over here for you."
"Who said I was buying it for me."
"I know you ain't buying no man nothing." I'm thinking you damn skippy!
"Alright you got me there." By the way dude has this heavy ass Caribbean accent...and as much time as I have spent down there I could pinpoint where from.

3. Mos Def Visits My Store Everyday

There is a homeless dude who comes into the job everyday rain or shine. I call him ODB or Ole' Dirty. He looks just like Mos Def only dirty. I can tell he is not high or drunk. The only thing he does is listen to rap CDs all day. He never even speaks until today.

I was putting up some CDs and I had the aisle blocked off with a cart. I really wasn't paying attention when I heard the most articulate "Excuse me" of my life. Ole Dirty has the voice of a god. He sounds good as hell just the right amount of bass. I looked around in shock like who the fuck just said that it couldn't have been Ole' Dirty but it was. When he didn't speak it was easy to just think of him as a bum. But Ole' Dirty is a person too...hell I think he might actually look good as hell with about 10 baths, a shave, some new jeans, shirt, jacket, timbos, etc.

I had a revelation...I should help Ole' Dirty. Its a shame that the man comes into the store everyday and we can't help him out in some way. He appears to be an okay guy...he doesn't come into the store begging or pissin' in the corners. We should help our fellow man not just watch them struggle.

I went back to work with a mission only to find out that after being there for more than 6 months they had finally put Ole' Dirty out. He's been banned from the store. I wonder what his real name is.

See all I have is beginnings to ish...oh well at least I got it out. Maybe now I'll be able to write since I got those little tid bits out. I guess we will see in the mad real world.

THANX!!!

2006-02-16T01:15:00.000-06:00

I just wanted to tell everyone thanx for all of the happy b-days. I spent my birthday with friends and family. I did the classy thing...had a classy meal, with a little classy conversation (we talked about tracing our African roots through our DNA...I watched a documentary about that the other day). I also spent some dough on some fly shit.

AND OH MY GOD...I think I might have finally found the fur I was looking for...I've been wanting this thing for three years. I may have found it, a friend just filled me in on a spot. I'll keep you posted.

Let the 24th year begin in the mad real world.

Goodbye 23rd Year...

2006-02-14T12:20:00.000-06:00

So many things happened in my 23rd it is definitely one I will not forget. Let's do a quick year in review.

February 13, 2005...
He wrote a song about me...with music and lyrics. It sounded good as hell. I was madly in "love" with "D" who is 8 years my senior. You couldn't tell me that I wouldn't be with him for at least the next five years...lol. That's how much thought I had put into it. That's really good for me. I just saw those years very clearly. I knew he would be my first. As I read the old IMs I realize I was really feeling him...I've never typed baby that much in my life.

March 2005
My father came to Chicago for a visit. I hadn't seen him in 6 years. He lives in California. He was in town for 4 days. He visited with my sisters and I for 45 minutes. We are not close but we love him and he loves us. We accept who he is and how he is...now. Thanks Iyanla Vanzant and Dr. Phil.

April 2005
I started focusing in seriously on my art. The ideas were flowing and so was the paint...freely.
I met Teej. Teej was a lot like me...we like a lot of the same "left field" stuff.

May 2005
Things started to change with HIM. We got into an argument. All was forgiven...there was residue. It changed a little...there was a new distance. There was a scratch that was healing very slowly. The kisses became less frequent.

The bitch upstairs stole my credit card. Dirty hoe.

June 2005
My best friend Toni goes into the hospital and has her baby 3 months early.
I started blogging.
"D" started school and I didn't talk to him for almost 2 weeks. It was killing me.
I met Hassan, he talked me off of a ledge...lol
"D" and I split. Broke up. I was cool with it at first...then it hurt...bad.

July 2005
I started rolling with the homies. I pulled out the old pimp character. Dating like a lunatic.
Enter Deeds.

August 2005
Pimpin' ain't easy...I lost my virginity...well I didn't lose it I know where it went...lol..It didn't go to "D." I was curious and curiosity killed my cat literally...lmao! Kicked cherry popper to the curb..he was wack in the sex department...didn't take much experience to figure that out...lol

September 2005
Baby shower drama and stress...it turned out great though huh Deeds?
Started a job that I surprisingly like...even though it is just a manifestation of my laziness.

October 2005
Nothing really significant. Peace in the ocean of craziness.

November 2005
Baby let's cruise!
Happy Thanksgiving!

December 2005
Had a great Christmas.
Had some good sex with the young liar. Sex partner number 2.
Enter the ex..."D" starts calling more frequently.

January 2006
Kicked Liar, Liar to the curb...I could've hit that again...lol

February 2006
Back at one...lol
Who knows what this next year will bring. Maybe I will actually settle down and be in love again...I can't even call it at this point.

Stay tuned in the mad real world.

Okay I Think I Have Narrowed It Down.

2006-02-08T21:28:00.000-06:00

Alrighty it seems as if everyone (except Zed) thinks I should treat myself to a good ole' spa treatment. I like that. I've also come up with a few ideas myself.

1. Spend money on shit I need like: a new cell phone, glasses (all I wear are contacts), clothes, etc.

2. Spend money on shit I don't need like: a bass guitar (I already have a lead guitar), a PSP...Playstation Portable for those who don't know the lingo...lol, sunglasses, a.k.a. fly shit.

3. Buy myself a ticket to go see the play Wicked.

4. Get Drunk and watch "How To Lose A Guy in Ten Days" butt naked on the couch...lol

5. Find me a nigga and bang the hell out of him...in a sexual manner...lol

6. Rent a fly ass automobile and stunt for a few days like I could actually afford that bitch.

7. Go to some "classy" restaurant and eat a "classy" meal with friends and family. That's just classy...lol

I just don't know what to do with myself in the mad real world.

February!!! Already?

2006-02-03T12:18:00.000-06:00

10 days....10 days....10 days until my birthday.

I have no freakin' idea what I am going to do for my birthday. I was thinking of going to Vegas to get crunk but my money, the airlines, and the hotels can't agree. See my money says one thing and the other two laugh. So I will definitely be in Chicago for my birthday.

Now I turn to you my blog buddies and ask WHAT THE HELL DOES ONE DO FOR THEIR 24th BIRTHDAY!!! Sorry, didn't mean to shout. I'm very honest with my blog so y'all know me pretty well...give me some suggestions. I always have a hard time with my birthday because it is the day before Valentine's Day. Everyone is feeling all lovie dovie and I am trying to party...womp womp.

Another issue is that my birthday is on a Monday...I will probably have to do something on Sunday.

Anywho, you all know the problem...so who's got the solution, all suggestions will be considered in the mad real world.

"Oh Baby You Got What I Need"....No I Don't

2006-01-27T11:42:00.000-06:00

I'm at work the other night helping out a customer...she so didn't know what she wanted. Anywho, one of my co-workers comes dashing around the corner...excited as hell.
"Millie, Millie, Millie, tell me who this is about to come around the corner."
"Huh?"
"Tell me who this dude is."
"What dude?"
"Come look."
"No."
"Here he comes, here he comes."

Around the corner steps what I imagine to be a 6 foot 7 inch 300 pound black dude with the biggest lips and the most unhappiest face. I stared for a second and kept saying in my mind I know this dude. As he peered down on me it hit me....his name that is...Biz Markie. He mumbled something about headphones. I couldn't understand a word he was saying. My excited co-worker understood it all, he translated. Biz did not look like a happy camper...his ass was looking mean as hell but I'm thinking if he didn't want to get recognized and asked for his autograph by my excited co-worker why didn't he just send one of his boys in to get the headphones? I know why because the nigga likes that shit, people kissing his ass.

He wasn't very nice so I let my excited co-worker and a eager whitey at the job assist him further. I disappeared even though he was in my department...oh well no one seem to notice...lol. Joan Cusak was so much more friendlier.

One more celebrity under my belt in the mad real world.

Wash Your Hands...Ramblings

2006-01-19T12:56:00.000-06:00

I want my hands to be clean.

Not in the literal sense in the spiritual sense, wait let me take that back I want them clean in the literal sense as well...lol

I can't go around treating people like trash just because they lie. Why do people lie? I think they lie because they are afraid of the truth. The truth is just to overwhelming for the weak. I was weak the other day. I lied to my ex-boyfriend. I told him that I was still celibate. I failed to mention I was banging a young liar. Maybe my screen name has a bit of truth in it. I know it is not his business what I do but I should've told him it was none of his business instead of spreading lies. I dumped the young one yesterday.

I can't continue this way. I will not become that which I hate. I refuse to become a liar. I have to throw down the pimp cane. I would have to lie to continue down that road. I'm not that person, I have been keeping up that role for almost a year now. I don't want that to be my persona. I want to be known as honest, trusting, loving, loyal, basically a woman of integrity.

Does that mean I will become passive and weak....Hell no. But I will not use manipulation to get what I want. That is just dishonest. If I can't get what I want in truth then it must not be for me.

I've been called spoiled and selfish on more than one occasion by a couple of different people men and women. I didn't see it then and I don't see it now. What am I missing? I don't think I am selfish. I feel like I am very considerate of others and their feelings. More soul searching has to be done. I must not let others core beliefs and judgments change who I am. I'm listening to the Isley Brothers sing..."Don't change, don't change girl..." Thanks Mr. Big.

Am I gonna take that new road or just slip back into the familiar? When I'm angry the old is easy. Split right down the middle one day I'm one way and the next I am another.
My hair is straight, I think it has something to do with the way I am feeling. I haven't had my hair straight and all black since I was a junior in high school. I miss my crazy curly fro. I'm going to wash my hair.

This has been a day in the mind of NameLiar and AimHigher. Our birthday is rapidly approaching 24 we will be, maybe that is why I am tripping in the mad real world.

I Swear I have Split Personalities!

2006-01-17T15:54:00.000-06:00

I'm having doubts.

I think I should just leave the liar alone. I can't pimp him. Am I really as pimp? I don't have the heart for it. I'm just a big ole softy. I think I am just going to tell him the truth of what I know and that I don't dig being lied to and leave it at that.

Karma...I don't want that shit coming back on me, I have enough drama without adding to the pile.

But the sex is good, best that I've had thus far. Life was so much easier when I was a virgin. Actually it was quite boring when I was a virgin...lol

Alright I'm dumpin' the chicken dinner so I can get with a winner...lol

If only my ex hadn't acted a fool...he was a perfectly good nigga who just got out of hand. Damn him! Our shit was smooth...no lying, no cheating, muthafuckin' error proof...till we wanted to try something different...interest started to fade I guess...womp womp.

Guess I'll be finding me a new nigga.

Another one bites the dust in the mad real world.

I Knew There Was A Reason

2006-01-08T10:24:00.000-06:00

In my last post I couldn't figure out why I wasn't happy with the good dick I was getting. Well I have since found out that the said dick was lying to me. This puss ass nigga is lying about something that doesn't even matter to me. He claims that he played basketball for DePaul before injuring himself.

When I googled his name and found not a stat on his puss ass I was like "damn," when I went to the blue demons website and found no mention of him I was like "shit," when I ran into one of the managers of the team at my job and they said they never heard of him I was like "what the fuck?"
What is the point of lying about whether or not you played ball...Hell I'm not even a fan of basketball...at least not like that. So guess what time it is people...its PIMPIN' TIME!!!

What is the difference between a pimp and a gold digger? A gold digger asks for things, whines, begs and all that shit. A gold digger also looks for a prey who already has money. A pimp suggests things to get what they want and make you feel guilty until you get it. A pimp will get a nigga who ain't got shit and make that nigga work his ass off to get what the pimp needs. I'm not gon' ask that nigga for shit, but I'm gon' get what I want.

And to think I was actually thinking of taking it easy on the little fella...well fuck no, this bitch ass nigga is about to get it. I'll keep taking the good dick and get what I need all at the same time.

I guess they just don't want me to put the pimp cane down in the mad real world.

Hear Ye, Hear Ye, Good People Of Blogland!

2006-01-05T11:18:00.000-06:00

I know my ass don' dipped off again on the blog tip but hey a chick was "busy."

I got this young nigga who is trying to be my bottom bitch. So far he is doing a good job...he takes me out a lot, eats me out a lot, and fucks the shit out of me a lot....lol.

Here is the problem...my ass is tired and my legs hurt...lol
I have never been this sexually active. This dude is wearing me out. I mean I am enjoying it on one level but at the same time I am not really happy...womp, womp.

I'm really not sure what my problem is...anywho, that is why my ass has been failing to blog.
Have you ever went through a period where you were getting it good and still weren't happy?

I can't stop tripping in the mad real world.

Christmas Time!!!

2005-12-26T18:42:00.000-06:00

I had a wonderful Christmas. Great food, good company, great presents...this has been a blessed year for my family. I got some great gifts this year. I have no complaints.

On another note a friend has been hyping me up to approach men more. That is something I rarely do. They usually come to me...lol

What do y'all think...who should do the approaching men or women?

Just thinking in the mad real world.

I Got To Get This Out Before Christmas!

2005-12-21T17:38:00.000-06:00

There are a few haters makin' their rounds in blog land...So I figured I would dedicate something to them.

All y'all haters can kiss my ass,
I'm here today to put you on blast.
Spreading hatred blog to blog
Are you a bitch? Or do you prefer female dog?

You know better than to spit that trash here
The pain I give is worse than a pap smear!
Pull that stick out yo ass,
Are you afraid without it you'll have no class?

How ya doin' so far, enjoyin the tale?
How 'bout I get more graphic, give some more detail
You are the worst type of person a hater from a far
Why don't you stoppin' signing as anonymous tell everyone who you are?

You won't or you can't
You're a muthafuckin' peon, the size of an ant.
I know your identity
But I have to keep it quiet due to another entity.

When you finally figure out I'm talkin' bout you
Bring that drama this way, show me you got the clue
I got that "Saw" shit
Pimp smack you so hard the only thing you'll be able to eat is grits.

You got caught by the trip wire
Stumbled and fell into the brush fire
A new attitude you need to acquire
Cause you've just been checked by NameLiar.

Well I feel better now that I've gotten that off of my chest...Tis the season in the mad real world.

Five Facts Tag...Better Late Than Never.

2005-12-19T01:02:00.000-06:00

Alright people Groove tagged me sometime last week I believe it was and I've been so busy I haven't had time to hop on it...So here it goes.

FIVE FACTS ABOUT NAMELIAR

1. I have a thing for knives. I want a katana. I think it started when I was a child watching He-Man and She-Ra. They both had swords...ever since then I wanted one and that urge hasn't left me. The only difference now is I want them as decorative pieces instead of as things to play with...lol Being aggressive here.

2. I chat with this dude on occasion...maybe ever other day...and he works my last nerve. Most of the stuff he says aggravates the hell out of me but I still deal with his sorry ass...don't ask me why. All the while I am talking with him I'm thinking you are such a prick....I borrowed that from my homeboy Jacob...lol Being passive here.

3. I have a crush on a friend of a guy that works with me. Man! I'm telling y'all I met this dude Saturday and I was like DAYUUUM!!!! Hey baby can I get your number...What's up? Of course I didn't say any of that but, when old boy introduced me to him...he wouldn't let go of my hand. Hopefully that is a good sign...I won't know until I go back to work Tuesday. Damn! I should have jumped his ass.

4. I love Christmas I can't wait for it to get here. The extra time with family and friends sharing and caring...Not having to go to work...lol Its like having a family reunion in the winter. Now my family isn't that big so...its a small family reunion but still. I love it!!! Can't get enough!

5. I walk the straight and narrow when I'm not pimpin'. I've never smoked weed, or anything else for that matter. I can count on two hands the number of times I've drunk alcohol...sad I know...lol...When I'm not cussing someone out on here I'm a pretty good girl. Just ask anyone.

I won't continue the tag by tagging others...or how about this...Got writers block? If so, tag you're it in the mad real world.

"Joy to the world the Lord has come let earth receive her king!"

Attention Please!

2005-12-14T13:04:00.000-06:00

Ladies, Ladies, Ladies...Do I have a treat for you. AimHigher and I want to bring you something special for Christmas. Something that every woman needs. A MAN!

This is Will.

Will is a gentlemen. He's 6' 200lbs...athletic build with the abs worth your weight in gold. If you are looking for a good man to spend time with this is your man. He works out, plays basketball, builds and repairs computers and enjoys the company of a good woman. The man has brawn and beauty. I know Will sounds like someone you would like to get to know holla at me. He is available.

This is Jason.

Jason is also a gentleman who is willing to accommodate a woman with what she needs. Sounds to good to be true, well it isn't. He's 6'2 185lbs and wears a size 12 shoe. Shoe size does matter in this case. Don't let the sheep appearance fool you this man is definitely a wolf who is not afraid to take control and show you what he's working with. This model and mentor is available.

So what do you think? Do you see anything you like?

I can't wait to hear the comments after this post in the mad real world.

"Santa Claus go straight to the ghetto..."

Wedding Bells...Is It To Early To Say I Object?

2005-12-13T10:50:00.000-06:00

Last night one of my younger sisters got engaged. She is 19 and he is 20. He asked my mother and my father for their permission and they both agreed. Well, my father went along with what my mother said.

I like the guy, he is very cool, a good "man" but I still see them as kids. My mother asked him how did he propose, he was so embarrassed and as I listened to them tell the story they both sounded like two little kids who just came up with the notion of being boyfriend or girlfriend.

RULE #1
JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE ASKS DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE TO EXCEPT!

My father being the supportive man he is told my sister, "Y'all are young, you'll change your mind." I wanted to laugh so bad because I was thinking the same thing. No matter how hard you try to deny it you still pick up some of your parents traits.

Is 19 and 20 to young? The things I thought I was sure about at 19 and 20 turned out to be the other way around. I've feel like I've grown a lot in the past 4 years but never would I have made a commitment that big...then again I'm a pimp, she's not...lol

They want to have a long engagement, I think that is good. Maybe actually be able to get into a club and drink legally before you commit to someone for life...Alcohol has a big effect on peoples lives...lol

Here comes the bride in the mad real world?

Untitled

2005-12-12T13:05:00.000-06:00

I started writing something...I was almost done when I decided that what I was writing didn't sound like the NameLiar you all have come to love so, I trashed it. I'll be back when I have something to talk about. Hell if you got something you need to holla at me about y'all can catch me on yahoo. You already know the name.

I'll be back in the mad real world.

I Met A Famous Person

2005-12-08T11:39:00.000-06:00

I met Joan Cusack yesterday. I know y'all probably like who gives a fuck but I don't care its my blog so piss off if you don't like it.

For those of you still reading you may remember her from movies like, The Addams Family, Toys, Runaway Bride, Chicken Little, The Cradle Will Rock, Arlington Road, etc. If not those then maybe the US Cellular commercials.

Anywho I walk to the cash register because I saw a woman standing there trying to put on her coat. Her basket had been sitting there a long time so I asked,
"Are you ready for me yet?"
She said, "Sure." When I looked at her I thought in my head, that's Joan Cusack! Then I started to doubt myself. Nah that isn't her, then again she does live in Chicago, but she looks so different.

As I was taking the movies out of the security devices. She asked me to tell her what one was about and what the rating was. Y'all know my ass knows a lot about movies so I went to tell her all about the plot of the story. She asked if I thought it was appropriate for a little boy. I said its only PG-13 it shouldn't be that bad. I finished ringing her up and she handed me her credit card and it confirmed what I was thinking. It was her. So I said...which I probably shouldn't have said..."Joan Cusack, I knew it was you."
She said, "No you didn't."
"I sure did. I knew when I first saw you."
"Awe you're so nice."
"Thank you."
"Most people don't recognize me, they say things like 'Don't you live in my building' or 'Haven't I met you before' or 'Don't I know you from somewhere you look so familiar'." We both laughed.
"I've watched one to many movies not to recognize you Mrs. Cusack."
"Well thank you, Millie." Wow she read my name tag how cool is that.
She said, "Have a good day," and I said "A good day to you as well."

I think she is the first famous person I have ever met. Thank God I didn't lose my cool...lol..not that pimp ever does that.

Okay so she isn't Angela Bassett, Denzel Washington, or Julia Roberts but she was nice and I liked her, so don't go pissin' on my meeting a famous person in the mad real world.

I've Been Gone For A Minute, Now I'm Back With The Jump Off!

2005-12-02T16:22:00.000-06:00

Is it just me or is there something wrong with this picture?

No 50 Aim your eyebrow Higher in the mad real world!

What The Hell Are You Smokin'?

2005-12-01T12:54:00.000-06:00

Have you ever seen the movie Top Gun? Well here is my rendition of a song in that movie. Bring back those hostile feelings, whoa oh those hostile feelings, bring back them hostile feelings now they're gone gone gone whoa oh oh oh...Well they aren't gone yet.

I've been feeling real good lately no hostility to report and then out of the blue I get a dumbass sending me IMs on yahoo. This nigga bout to get his feelings hurt in one minute.

First, he hits me with some bullshit like, "Why don't you call me?" I'm thinking because you ask questions like, why don't you call me. Why the fuck don't you call me nigga? Why in the hell do I have to be the aggressor. If you want my ass then come and get me.

Second, he be asking me stupid ass questions like, "Millie are you done pimpin'?" Nigga I ain't about to stop pimpin' for some nigga I ain't never met. The only place I know this nigga from is yahoo and we all know what that means...I really don't know his puss ass. I've talked to him on the phone a couple of times but I got the feeling he really wasn't listening to my ass which is a huge NO, NO! When I get that feeling...I DON'T want sexual healing, I want to hang the damn phone up and that's what I did.

So now he is sending me messages talking about we need to talk about us...US. What US? There is no US. There is a you and a me but no US.
Long story short the nigga wants some type of commitment from me. He wants insurance on my ass. If I say I'll be his then he will feel secure in making a move to come see my ass. Bitch ass nigga please that shit ain't gon' never happen!

I was trying to be nice to his puss ass in the beginning but now he is straight irritating the inner part of my asshole.

I'm going to the gun range to get my practice on, in the mad real world.
"Oh the weather outside is frightful, but the fire is so delightful. Since we've no place to go, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!"

Tagged: Christmas Edition

2005-11-29T11:45:00.000-06:00

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? Hot Chocolate. I HATE Egg Nog.
2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? He better wrap them.
3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? Colored on the tree.
4. Do you hang mistletoe? Nope. I don't want to kiss my sisters....eww.
5. When do you put your decorations up? This year we put them up right after Thanksgiving.
6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? I don't know.
7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child? Waking up at the crack of dawn to open presents.
8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? I never believed in Santa. My parents never fed me that lie.
9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? Nope.
10. What kind of cookies does Santa get set out for him? Chocolate Chip cookies.
11. Snow! Love it or Dread it? Love it around Christmas time.
12. Can you ice skate? Nope. Tried it once tho'.
13. Do you remember your favorite gift? Yep it was a Sega Genesis.
14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you? Being with family and friends.
15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? I love Peach Cobbler, Banana Pudding, and Key Lime Pie.
16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? I don't know...each year we do something different.
17. What tops your tree? Nothing yet. We haven't decided on a topping.
18. Which do you prefer giving or receiving? I like both.
19. What is your favorite Christmas Carol? Joy To The World...and I love that Charlie Brown song "Christmas Time" its so peaceful.
20. Candy Canes! Sure why not

I'm gonna be doing Christmas up real big this year. Stay tuned for the details.
Deck the halls in the mad real world.

Alright Let's Wrap It Up...3 in 1

2005-11-26T16:03:00.000-06:00

I think I got out all of the real crazy stories about my cruise. Now here are the tid bits.

1.
My aunt, the maniac, is a horrible room mate. Everytime I would come into our room she had the heat on hell. No it wasn't cold outside. She was just cold. One night I was lying down and she asked me if I was cold. I said "No, actually I am hot." That didn't matter she turned the heat up anyway. I have a thought on that...I believe it is a form of being selfish. See it doesn't matter what I wanted, only what she wanted.

***********

My aunt also treated a woman who thought she was doing the Lord's work. Check it, most of you church goers know that sometimes the Lord speaks to people and give them things to share with you about your life. Right? It doesn't happen to often but they will say something like, "The Lord is putting something in my spirit to share with you," and then they will go on to tell you something. Well...lol...this is probably more funny to me than it will be to you but, one night while we were at dinner one of the women at our table had the "unction in her spirit" to share such thoughts with my aunt.

Here's how it started. One of the women named Pat asked my aunt what church she attended. My aunt said she had just left her church home and was visiting with another church. Oh and what did she say that for. The young woman sitting next to my aunt...lol...whispered something in Pat's ear. Pat says out loud, "Tell her." So this chick...Lord forgive me....says to my aunt, "The Lord is telling me to tell you that you don't need to be church hopping because you are picking up different spirits. If you want to know what church you should go to ask him and he will tell you." I immediately started laughing on the inside because I knew my aunt wasn't going to listen to her. Why, you ask? Well because the young lady was just in the club the night before and was drinking her ass off...lol. I don't mean to judge but I knew my aunt was going to tell her a thing or two. And I was right.

My aunt told her in a confrontational tone, "Hold up. First of all I'm not church hopping. If you were listening that is not what I said." Which is true my aunt didn't say that. The girl was surprised by my aunts tone I could tell by the look in her face. I wanted to laugh so bad and so did my sisters. The girl tried again by saying, "I'm just telling you what the Lord is putting in my spirit." My aunt kept cutting her off and talking over her by saying, "I've asked the Lord and he hasn't said that to me and I know what he told me to do."

I swear I wanted to fall on the floor from laughter. After they both shut up it was an uncomfortable silence at the table...You know the quiet that happens when someone just got their feelings hurt. I looked at my sisters and theirs eyes were smiling. The chick with the word and Pat both looked stunned and then started looking in directions other than my aunt's. My aunt just continued cutting her steak like nothing happened. It was classic. These poor women in their 50s and 30s had no idea what to do, so I changed the subject.

***********

3.
My mother is silly. She got up one night at karaoke and did her impression of Tina Turner doing "Proud Mary." I have pictures of her performance but all you see is her hair. Everytime I snapped a picture her hair was in her face...I'll show you.

Exhibit ABy the way my aunt, the maniac, is in these pictures. Can anyone guess which one she is? I know the pics are tiny.
I guess that about wraps up my cruise adventures. I did indeed have a great time and everyone made it something I will never forget.

Let's get back to regular happenings in the mad real world.

"Oh I Think They Like Me..."

2005-11-22T13:45:00.000-06:00

Alright y'all know a fly ass broad like myself couldn't go on vacation without some dude trying to be all up in my drawz. I'm runnin' round the boat and islands like "...oh I think they like me..." Its something about a fro, some sunglasses, and some lip gloss that drives a nigga crazy, white guys like the shit too. SIKE! Actually only a couple of dudes tried to holla, which was cool with me there was a lot of action just dealing with the broads I came with, there was no time for men.

But anywho, my Aunt, the maniac, (read the previous post) was really on some "...oh I think they like me..." shit. We were sitting in the Baccus dining room which is one of the formal dining rooms of the ship. I'm getting ready to tear some food up when this broad pulls me to the side and says, "What's up with your friends?" I'm like, "Which ones?" "Them over there they seem to be so stuck up." (Why do people mistake quiet for stuck up?) I'm thinking what, who? I don't have any stuck up friends. She continues by saying, "They have been looking at me funny this entire cruise, I can't help it I look like this and they look like that."

I wanted to fall on the floor from laughter. My aunt god bless her drunken soul is not all that, her shit is a little raggedy from previous years and years and years of drinking. But she was still thinking "...oh I think they like me..."

She wasn't the only one who was hearing this song in her head the entire trip. One of my mother's other friends was hearing this shit too. My girl T thought one of the dudes in the Lido deck band was hot. He wasn't hot, but I digress. Anywho, he was in the club one night and she convinced my Momma (which isn't hard, she is a true die hard outgoing person who never gets embarrassed) to signal him over to our table. My mother strikes up a conversation with old boy and slides him off onto my girl T without him being the wiser. Well my Mother's friend Lady C thought dude wasn't really into T, she said and I quote, "He don't want T, he looking at me." And I immediately thought, "...oh I think they like me..."

Let's get back to my aunt tho'. She started drinking AGAIN later on that night after she revealed that my homies were hating on her looks. She stumbled...yes stumbled up to the lido deck. She had a tall glass of Bacardi with a big ass orange peel in it. She asked if anyone wanted to play cards. We all knew she was drunk so we declined, everyone that is except for my girl T. She was like, sure I'll play with you. I was thinking to myself AWE SHIT! They were playing pitty pat. After T won 3 games in a row my aunt yells out like she was possessed again, "I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU T." I'm looking like what in the hell, got damn lady is it your intention to embarrass me everyday of this cruise. LOL

But to tell you the truth I wasn't embarrassed I thought the shit was funny as hell. That broad was really snappin' off. But poor T she wasn't thinking "oh I think they like me..." T was frightened.

My aunt started smoking again on this trip. I hadn't know her to smoke in years. She was really acting like an ass on this trip. Mind you this isn't the first time I was on a cruise with her but something made her ass snap off. We all got up from the table and went to the late night buffet my ass was getting down on the food tip...lol Anyway my drunken aunt was like it is to late to be eating that junk. I must've looked at her like she was crazy. "Drunk-ard please!" Five minutes later her drunk ass was asking T if she wanted to go with her to go and get something to eat. T declined and she stumbled off by herself and I didn't see her again until I went back to the cabin. Did I tell y'all that my sister and I shared a room with her? I swear that broad is crazy!

Don't get me wrong I had fun on this trip but a lot of crazy shit was happening in The Mad Real World:Cruise Edition.

"I Had One To Many Drinks..."

2005-11-21T22:45:00.000-06:00

Alright let's start at the beginning of this trip. First, I asked Hassan if I could borrow his digital camera he agreed, he even brought it to my house. Now he told me he was coming over in the late afternoon, well me being a nut case I laid down to take a nap anyway.

I'm lying in my bed and what do I hear but the phone ring...caller id says Hassan...Yikes! I'm thinking, oh he is probably calling to let me know he is on his way. WRONG! He is calling to let me know he is 2 minutes away. AHHH! Two minutes away! My hair was fucked the hell up, I had on a big ass sweat shirt and some fleece jogging pants, my eyebrows weren't arched...AimHigher hates that...I was tow-da-hell-up! It was horrible next thing I know ding dong...Oh shit! What the hell am I gonna do...my first thought was to make him wait in the hallway, but that would be just rude. So instead I closed my eyes and opened the door. I fucking cringed from the pain of having a human being other than my sisters or close friends look at me in this condition.

He acted as if it was nothing, he could tell that I was uncomfortable but he didn't look at me like I was the crypt keeper which made me relax. Anyway, I had a feeling this trip was going to be interesting it had already had an interesting beginning.

So I ended up pulling myself back into pimpin' condition by the next morning. Got my hair and eyebrows done, put on some decent clothes, I was ready. Well that was after I called Deeds and told her what happened. She took my pimp card for that hopefully I can get it back now.

Anyway, there were 26 of us in our group. A few married couples but the rest of us were single or there without our mates. Y'all know my puss ass is single as a jay bird. Anywho...let the drinks begin. I myself don't drink very often but I figured I would have a few this trip a little more than normal. Well my aunt "had one to many drinks..." Her ass turned into a looney toon.

We were in one of the clubs on the ship named Frankie and Johnnie's. This broad lost her mind. She had a bottle of Bacardi all to herself. No let me rephrase that. She had a big ass bottle of Bacardi to her damn self. We were sitting in the club listening to these Asian dudes sing R&B...old school joints...they were jamming. My aunt was sitting there dancing in her seat when a friend of mine told her, "Girl get on up and shake your booty." My aunt replied like she was possessed, "No. I don't shake my booty." Then her ass took off like a bat outta hell. She jumped up out of her chair and began doing the most retarded dance and she was doing it in hyper speed.

This chick acted like it was a dance sprint or something. Like she had to do the dance the fastest or else she was gonna get kicked off the ship. I was looking around like did I miss the start gun, when did the fucking race start? I have never seen anyone move the way she did. It was like watching a Taebo DVD in fast forward. It was like there was a speed bag in front of her and she was trying to hit it while her feet were doing the moves from the movie Flashdance...."She's a maniac, maniac on the floor and she dancing like she's never danced before..." We all looked at her like WHAT THE FUCK!!! I have never seen this woman dance a day in my life. She definitely..."had one to many drinks."

That was only the beginning there are more stories of that drunken broads antics, she almost drove me crazy in the mad real world.

PS. The vacation pics have been posted. Check out flickr for all of the pics.

Guess Who's Ba-Zack!

2005-11-20T19:00:00.000-06:00

Well I am back good people and feeling better than ever...Boy have I got some stories for y'all. I don't even know where to start.

Well I guess I should start with the juiciest stuff first. So that would be the tale of me in a suite with 2 shots of rum, a Mexican dude, a Puerto Rican dude, and a Black guy. Actually I was drinking before the 2 shots of rum. I had a long island ice tea, a screw driver, 2 kisses on the lips (that is a sweet ass drink) some rum punch oh and a sip of a blue margarita, all within an hour. The funny part is that I was even tipsy...no buzz...no nothing. Weak ass drinks, but the shots alone...whoa!

Okay hold on I am so tired and the stories are swirling in my head. I need to organize my thoughts and get rid of my sea legs. I'll hit y'all up tomorrow with the details of my week. It was definitely an interesting week in the mad real world.

PS. I'll be posting some pics as soon as Hassan gets me that USB Cable for the digital camera, look for them on flicker...lol

Well My Mad Real Fam....

2005-11-11T14:30:00.000-06:00

I leave tomorrow morning. I hate flying but it is a must. I'm in Tampa for 2 days and then I will be sailing the seven seas for seven days...lol

I MIGHT post from the ocean...not really sure yet, but I will definitely fill you in on what takes place on this adventure. You know I am always running into some crazy folks.

So in the meantime enjoy the island music...oh and check out that Lady Saw video, that broad trips me out everytime. She has a lyric in that song that says "Me to rich for arguing bitch..." Ha! I hear that. That broad is a trip she has another video for this song called "I've Got Your Man." This lady be making some songs.

Anywho...Y'all be good. I'll see you when I see you in the mad real world.

High School And Me...The Whole Truth And Nothing But The...

2005-11-08T21:30:00.000-06:00

This is a little long but I think it is interesting...lol

In my last post I mentioned high school and a high school buddy. I'm only 23 so high school wasn't that long ago but it seems like ancient history.

In high school I was the chubby light skinned girl in a clique of dark skinned skinny chicks. The funny thing is I never noticed it until my senior year. One of them said,"I hate light skinned girls but not you Millie." Anywho I will admit that I was not the pimp that I proclaim myself to be now. I was shy and quiet, they were loud and comedic. We used to have a blast. I was the genius/geek who helped them with there homework and gave them the answers to tests and so forth. It was cool I didn't mind helping them out they were my girls.

One of my friends, who shall be called Wanda from this point on, had a crush on this older guy that worked for my mother. He is only 5 years older, but anyway, I too had a crush on him. He was gorgeous, 6'1, 180lbs, nice body caramel skinned, he kind of looks like Grant Hill and the dude who played Overton on Living Single. He is hot. Anywho we both had a thing for him.

During high school she would try everything in her power to get him. You know the things that young girls do to try and get a guy's attention. She would hit him, take something that belongs to him and make him chase her...in other words do stupid stuff. I used to just sit back and laugh, like this broad is crazy. Anywho I think we all believed that I didn't have a chance in hell at getting with dude. I was a square, a fat square at that...lol Back then he and I used to play fight, a lot. I was a tom boy so it was nothing. I would punch the hell out of his ass and he would smack me around a little bit. Mind you I was like 15 or 16.

One day he and I were play fighting as usual...I think it started while we were playing basketball, I was talking trash as I do so well and he had had enough already so he popped me upside my head. So there we were fighting as usual, some kind of way we ended up falling and he fell on top of me. I think he tried to trip me and our legs got caught or some ish anyway when we fell he didn't get up. He was on top of me and he grabbed my hands and held them to the ground and looked me dead in my eyes. At the time I had no idea what that look meant but now I recognize it. It is a look of desire. It scared me then. I told him let me go, he said no, I told him I would scream, I was nervous I didn't know what to do or to say. The man I had desired was looking at me in a way that I was not ready for. He slowly let me go but he had this weird smile on his face. I didn't understand it then but I know what that was about. He wanted my young ass.

Fast forward...The year 2000. I go to prom he takes me, he pays for everything. One of my mother's other employees asks him, "What is up with you and Millie?" He replies, "Nothing, her mother would kill me." How do I know this was said, he told me. He tells me everything even to this day. At that point I figured nothing would ever become of he and I. We would just be friends forever.

Fast forward...The year 2002. He and I remained friends and kept in close contact. My personality began to flourish I become more so the woman that I am today but not yet fully. I was developing that pimp mentality...lol...Anywho one night we were talking and I told him. "You know I had a crush on you when I was in high school." He said he didn't know. I told him yeah and I still have a crush on you today. Well what did I say that for. He came to my house the next day and it was on like pop corn. I couldn't believe it. All that time I could have probably had him if I had only said something.

Anyway, as you can tell things didn't work out between us but we have remained friends which was hard at first but is working out fine. As a matter of fact he is IMing me as I type. I lost touch with Wanda and my homies for the first 3 years after high school. So when we all got together and caught up I told them about him and I. Wanda was in total shock she couldn't believe it. She thought I was lying, I told her to call him, he would tell her. I could see the hateration.

That's is why I wasn't surprised when she asked for his email address and I wasn't surprised when he said it appears she is flirting with me. She still wants a taste and he still doesn't want her. She hasn't had the nerve to come out and straight tell me she wants his drawz but I know she does.

I'll keep you posted on what happens when "friends" try and get with a friend's ex boyfriend in the mad real world.

Pimpin', Pimpin', Pimpin'!

2005-11-07T16:30:00.000-06:00

My random exploits in pimpland.

1. I'm bout to be a pimp. No for real. This dude wants me to pimp him. Broker him out to other women and I get a percentage. He told me flat out, "Millie I need some extra money, do you think women would pay to have me escort them?" I said, "Yeah, you fine as hell." Let's face it there are plenty of ugly women with money who would pay pretty good to be seen with his fine ass. So he asked if I would help. I told him sure if I get a cut. I'm sure you guys will be hearing more about this...I'll even post a few of his pictures. He even has another male friend who wants to do the same. Pimpin' ...

2. I talked to Alex, the cute Latino dude at my job. I told him I thought he was hot and that I mentioned it to Tami. I also went on to tell him that it was entirely Tami's idea to question him and put me out like that. In addition to that I told him that if I wanted to holla I would've but he is still cute tho'. I found out some things about him after further investigation. Things that were not pleasing to my hears. Pimpin'...

3. I talked to one of my friends from high school. I haven't talked to her in about a year. We always get together when one of our other friends comes home on leave from the service. Anywho, she and I were talking about my ex-boyfriend whom we both had a crush on in high school...I got him after high school she didn't...lol Anyway it appears she wants him now. As I was talking to her on the phone I was instant messaging him. I told her I was doing this and she asked for his email address. I gave it to her, and what do you know she starts IMing him while talking to me. He immediately tells me that she is IMing him...I told him I figured she would. I know deep down she hates that I got a taste and she didn't, especially since she probably figured I didn't have a chance in hell of getting with him in high school. But that is another story that I will explain in further detail in my next post. There is more to tell. Pimpin...

I have to go check on my hoes in the mad real world.

APB

2005-11-02T11:30:00.000-06:00

This is an officially APB.

Where in the hee-zie is Blk Silk aka Echo aka Groove?

Where ya at girl?

I'm gonna have to file a missing bloggers report in the Mad Real World.

I Feel Good

2005-10-30T13:10:00.000-06:00

Remember I was telling you guys and gals that my manager was pissing me off by fucking up my name. Well today I got to hit her in the face with a PIE. Not figuratively, literally.

This morning was our beginning of the fourth quarter meeting. We got a new store director so he wanted to introduce himself and give us the "things are gonna be different around here" speech. Okay cool.

Right before the meeting started they had us reach into a bag and grab a slip of paper. The paper was either blank or had a smiley face on it. I got a slip of paper with a smiley face. Later on in the meeting they said that we were going to do a little role playing and that's why some of us had the smiley faces, we would be the actors. Alright fine whatever...you bastards drag me out of the house on my day off at the crack of dawn for this bullshit...is what I was thinking.

The meeting is over and then they announce that the smiley faces really mean you get to toss a pie in the face of any manager you choose. I was like REALLY? To tell you the truth I didn't want to do it...I didn't want to have a horrible schedule for the rest of my time there. But she (my manager) was like, "C'mon you can throw one at me." Exactly the person I wanted to get. Now that's fate/karma/and most importantly God.

I got that pie and everybody was cheering, "Get her Millie, follow through, make it good." So I drew that pie back a good distance and got her smack in the face SPLAT! The cream flew everywhere. The new store manager is right things are definitely going to be different around there. In case you haven't notice dude (store manager) is cool as hell and funny.

Needless to say I feel good in the Mad Real World.

I Gots Her Figured

2005-10-28T00:30:00.000-05:00

Alright I figured out why the new girl is trippin'...wait let me tell y'all what happened today first.

I'm chillin' in the break room. I hear "Millie come to register 5" or so I think, there is a girl named Lilly (hence my manager sometimes calling me Lilly, I guess, we look absolutely nothing alike) so usually when they call either of our names we both go up front cause we can never tell which they are saying. Anywho...I go up front and the new chick is having a hard time with a gift card. I show her how to do it.

Now this is important
She asks me "What do I do with the gift card now?"
I said, "Since it is empty and there is no more money on it you throw it away."
She says, "Okay."

Lilly walks up, she asks Lilly, "What do I do with the gift card after they have used it up?"
I look like What The Fuck?... Bitch! Didn't I just...
Lilly tells her, "You throw it away if there is no more money on it."
Lilly walks away.

Maria walks up we chat about her kids and the mandatory meeting Sunday morning and guess what the new girl says, "Excuse me I'm new here (no shit dumb-ass) and I was wondering what do we do with the gift cards after the customer is finished using it and there is no more money on it?"
Maria says (everybody say it with me) "You throw it away."
The new girl says, "Oh okay I wasn't sure what to do with it."

This bitch is unbelievable. What the fuck hoe? Why would I lie? If you thought we didn't know the answer to that question then why the fuck you ask you damn monkey ball bitch? This is the type of shit that will get my ass sent to prison. I hate that shit. She must be fucking retarded. I wanted to bash her head in with one of them major league home run swings and use a good metal baseball bat to do it...yea Sox! Be on some Action Jackson shit...asks her ass "Why ju lookin' for Poppa Dock?" Then hit her ass in her gut.

Anyway, I have noticed that she knows all of the male co-workers names and acts differently when they are around. That's when I figured her out. She is just a bitch looking for some male attention. She feels the rest of us (females) are a threat. I hate to tell that hoe she ain't in no competition with me. I got her ass faded ten times over. They must didn't tell her ass she was working with a pimp, then again someone probably did tell her ass, they just need to tell her 2 more times and maybe then she will get it.

Bitch get a clue, any clue in the Mad Real World.

Alright These Bitches Are About To Piss Me Off

2005-10-27T11:30:00.000-05:00

Is is just me or maybe I am over reacting, my best friend would say over reacting as usual, but is the continual fucking up of someone's name a sign of disrespect?

Peep this shit, I've been working at my current job for about a month and a half, my manager continues to fuck up my name. Now I understand that when you first meet someone you will forget or jack up their name but after a months time, give me a fucking break. She calls me Nilly, Lilly, Nomalah, Nelly and all types of other shit. Now I understand that not everyone can get their mouth to say Namelia (I'm lying I don't understand that shit, haven't these muthafuckas heard of Amelia Earhart, the most famous fucking female aviator in history, well put an "N" in front of her name and you have mine you dumb sons-ah-bitches) I told everyone at work that they could call me Millie. I suppose this is why I get called Nilly and Nelly, she is taking the N from my first name and attaching it to my nickname. What the fuck?

Okay whatever...but last night she called me Lilly and I don't know what the fuck that was about. My brain then went into Busta Rhymes/Spliff Star mode..."Yo is she dis-re-speckin you? Yo she dis-re-speckin' you. FlipMode Baby!"

To top that shit off the new girl...she is even newer than I, keeps calling me all type of shit, she has called me Missy, Nelly, and my favorite Aye Girl. I'm like STOP THE MUTHAFUCKIN' PRESSES. These puss ass hoes are about to blow me. Its fucking Millie, its not rocket science, GOTDAMN! None of my male managers or co-workers have a problem with saying Millie. My girl Tami even calls me Namelia.

Now my question to my fellow bloggers is...
Is the repeated fucking up of someone's name a true sign of disrespect? If not what is it? I believe there is a hidden meaning to it. Let me know what you think.

I'm not gon' be playin' with these broads much longer in the Mad Real World.

The Fact Is...

2005-10-24T12:05:00.000-05:00

I don't feel pretty if my eyebrows aren't arched properly.

Everything could be in order, underwear matching, hair flawless, rims spinnin' everytime I stop...lol...but if my eyebrows are not right I don't feel right. I don't feel on top of my game.

Now check this out my underwear could not match, my hair could be jacked, and even if my rims couldn't or wouldn't spin, if my eyebrows are in order none of that would matter. Eyebrows trump all that ish for me, but eyebrows don't trump being clean.

I can't help myself I must AimHigher in the Mad Real World.

This Shit Ain't Happened Since High School...Part Two

2005-10-23T13:00:00.000-05:00

To fully understand what's going on please read part one first.

My mind began to race I couldn't believe what she just said.

NameLiar: "Tami, you shittin' me, right?"
Tami: "Nope. I'm for real."
NameLiar: "Quit playing Tami, no you didn't."
Tami: "Yeah I did."
NameLiar: "Tami why would you do that?"
Tami: "Let me tell you how it all happened."
At this point I couldn't stop laughing from pure disbelief...you know that laughter that happens when someone does something to you and you say to yourself I can't believe this shit is happening to me. That is exactly what I was thinking as she told me what she had done.
Tami: "You know we got a shipment in this morning, and Alex was helping me put phones away."
NameLiar: "Okay."
Tami: "So I asked him, Alex do you have a girlfriend? He said no."
NameLiar: "Alright that is harmless, you got the info for me that is good but how..."
Tami: "Then he asked why did I want to know, I told him someone has a crush on you. He asked is it a product specialist? I told him I won't say what department she works in, since its only Lillie, you, and I who are product specialist. But then he said he already knew who it was."
NameLiar: "What?"
Tami: "Yeah he said he knew who it was already. So I asked him who and he said Millie."
NameLiar: "Stop lying Tami."
Tami: "Girl I am not lying."
NameLiar: "How in the hell did he know it was me."
Tami: "I don't know how he knew but I told him yep it is Millie."
NameLiar: "Damn Tami you didn't have to agree."
I started laughing again and she laughed as well.

My mind began to race. I was totally unprepared for this. Oh man what am I gonna do now. I thought he was cute I wasn't sure if I really liked him or not now he thinks that I am hot for his drawz or some shit. God I hope he doesn't turn into an asshole. Get a big head and shit. Okay think NameLiar think...now what, she has basically blasted you out of water and your cloaking devices are no longer working.

It was time for me to punch in and head out on the floor, where Alex would definitely be. (Swallow) As I headed to the computer to clock in, I couldn't type in my work id number my hand was shaking really bad. I was thinking what the fuck is wrong with me? One of my co-workers stopped me and asked if everything was alright. I told him yes, then no. He said is it something personal, I think he was referring to PMS or something. I told him no. Is it something sexual? No. I don't pay him any attention he is the store's overly horny dude. I was finally able to clock in and I headed towards the DVDs.

I developed a temporary solution to my problem. I would avoid Alex until I could gather my thoughts. That worked for the first 2 hours of work and then it became impossible. A gay couple came in looking for Adventures in Babysitting. I told them I knew exactly where it was because I loved that movie as well. We were laughing and talking about the movie and other bad movies. I had actually forgot about what happened earlier. As the gentlemen were telling me that I was a great help and that they had enjoyed talking to me, Alex walks pass. I saw him and thought, "Thank God I'm helping them out because I'm busy, so I don't have time to talk to Alex." Just as I had that thought Alex stopped and started talking to Tami.

No! Don't talk to Tami she has said enough already...lol. Damn he was waiting for me. Don't leave me now my new found gay buddies. "See you around Millie," one of the guys said. "Okay guys see ya next time."

I took a deep breath and walked toward Alex and Tami.
Tami: "Hey Millie." She smiles with that look in her eyes like look who has found you.
Alex: "Hey Millie." He is smiling as well.
NameLiar: "Hey Alex." I smile and give Tami a look.
Alex: "Millie are you just getting here?"
NameLiar: "No I have been here for a while...a couple of hours."
Alex: "Oh what time did you get in?"
NameLiar: "Ummm..." My brain goes completely blank y'all I couldn't remember what time I came in...Oh shit I can't remember. I don't have the slightest idea. "What time did I get in?"
Alex: "Yeah." He starts to laugh.
NameLiar: "I can't remember. I honestly can't remember. I don't have the slightest idea. Tami what time did I come in?"
Tami: "Girl, you got here at like 11:50."
NameLiar: "Yeah 11:50, like she said."
Alex laughed again.

Luckily a customer saved me further embarrassment by saying "Excuse me, can you help me find..." I was like, "Sure." and got the hell out of dodge.

I can't believe that my mind went completely blank. I'm a pimp this shit doesn't happened to me. I always have something slick to say, some fly ass line to throw at a nigga but then again he isn't a nigga.

Okay I need some advice on how to handle this situation...help me out people...I can't keep avoiding him. Any ideas will be given serious consideration.

I should have just keep my big mouth shut in the Mad Real World.

This Shit Ain't Happened Since High School

2005-10-22T23:10:00.000-05:00

There is this guy at work. His name is Alex. I think he is cute. He's Mexican, Puerto Rican, and Cuban. He is the manager of one of the departments at the job. He started speaking to me about 3 weeks ago. I didn't know his name when he first started speaking. So it would go something like...

Alex: Hey Millie, how's it going? *Smile*
(Millie is my nickname, I let them use it at work so they won't jack up my name one of my black managers calls me Nilly and then says I mean Millie....that shit irritates my inner ass hole...I wanna fuck her ass up)

Nameliar: Hi, its going smoothly. No complaints. *Smile*
I smile at everyone at work...they think I am the most friendly person in the world...I am tho'...but anywho, since I didn't know his name I just said, "hey"...fuck it...I didn't know who the hell he was at the time.

So finally I grew tired of saying hey to this dude without knowing his name so I asked one of my co-workers. His name is Alex she said, I thought cool Alex, I can remember that. Anyway, finally I knew who this dude was. We often end up in the break room at the same time. He has asked me a ton of questions, he asked what was my ethnic background...I looked at him like he was crazy. Sometimes the yellow skin and the curly hair confuses people. I told him I was just a regular old black girl with the IQ of 133...lol...I left that part out. He asked me if my name, Millie, was short for Milagros, which is a Spanish or Hispanic name...I told him no. He told me that his little sister's name is Milagros and they call her Millie. I thought how cool...this story is getting long...

Anywho I asked another co-worker if Alex had a girlfriend, he said he didn't know. I told my homie at work, Tami that I thought Alex was cute. She was so excited...I was like calm down I think he is cute but I need to find out more info on him...I'm in recon mode right now. Tami stated that she thinks that I should try and holla at him. I was like slow down young blood...I am a pimp I can't just be hollering at fools all willy nilly...I have to make sure I really like him first. Really I was just afraid of the rejection plus he is one of my superiors at work...that could cause problems if it goes wrong.

I told Tami we will see what happens.

I get to work Friday. I enter the break room...
Tami: Ooo Millie guess what I did today?
NameLiar: What?
Tami: I told Alex that you had a crush on him.
NameLiar: WHAT!?! WHY??
*My mind went blank at this point, I started sweating and my cheeks began to blush from embarrassment.*

You wouldn't believe what happens next in the Mad Real World.

Today's Fact

2005-10-21T00:20:00.000-05:00

I picked a job where I don't have to think much. The thinking they do require me to do I barely do. When they ask me if I know how to do something I play dumb. They say, "AimHigher do you know how to..." I say, "No. I sure don't would you mind teaching me?"

Today one of the guys asked me if I wanted him to show me how to count...Well what he said was, "Do you want me to show you how I do it...it goes much faster." I was dying from laughter in my head and thought Mexican please I've been counting longer than you've been living...but I said, "Sure." LOL

Well there you have it I play dumb just for the hell of it...I obviously have nothing better to do. LMAO!

I refuse to AimHigher...while at work, in the mad real world.

Is That Right...

2005-10-20T00:30:00.000-05:00

I was sitting in my room contemplating life and the meaning thereof and remembered something I read a couple of years ago...

"The prostitutes said that most men needed to know what the pimps knew. A woman should occasionally be babied enough to show her the man had affection, but beyond that she should be treated firmly. These tough women said that it worked with them. All women, by their nature, are fragile and weak: they are attracted to the male in whom they see strength."

I hate to say this but I agree with that statement...well most of it. You can kiss my ass on that weak shit, but I like to be treated firmly. I don't want no puss ass nigga. I hate to hear a man bitch and moan they sound just like...well a bitch. Save all of your whining for your therapist. Don't get me wrong a little sharing of the feelings and what's going on with you isn't bad, but don't be a cry baby all the damn time. I don't want to hear that shit, straight up. Its a muthafucking turn off.

The fact is strength and confidence is a big turn on. I don't need one of those "yes dear ass kissing uncle Tom ass" men. I know more women who demonstrate that strength than I do men. They just don't make 'em like they used to. No offense men...but all these boys running around here pretending to men are making y'all look bad.

I'm gonna tell y'all (men) what y'all need to do to fix the problem. First stop patting your puss ass friends on the back when they do some bullshit. I know y'all be thinking,"That's not my business that ain't got shit to do with me" but that shit effects us all. Stop letting them fools think that they are getting away with something or gaining some cool points for pulling off some bull.

Anywho I got a little sidetracked...The point is you have to know how to deal with a woman. This tactic doesn't work with us all, it varies, but I believe the general properties are the same. Let me know what you think.

By the way the quote came from a very wise man's book. You all have heard of him, anyone what to take a guess at who said it. You might be surprised or you might not be.

Pimps up hoes down in the Mad Real World.

AimHigher The Naked Truth

2005-10-19T10:30:00.000-05:00

I'm going to try something different here in the Mad Real World. Everyday I am going to reveal an "interesting" (what may be interesting to me may not be interesting to you) fact. But I will try and keep it interesting. For example, I was more popular in high school than NameLiar...lol Okay that is not a fact that is a matter of opinion...lol

Alright let me quit playing, the fact for today is...

When I am talking to people with a lazy eye I'm not sure which eye to look at so instead of picking an eye, cause you can't look at them both or else one of your eyes will end up wandering off, I look at their eyebrows or eyelids. I look at anything close to their eyes so it appears I am giving them eye contact. LOLIf it's not NameLiar, then it must be AimHigher in the Mad Real World.

It Will Be Here Before I Know It...Thank God!

2005-10-17T23:05:00.000-05:00

I am so happy that it is almost time for me to go on my vacation. Every other year I take one of those Carnival Cruises. This year we are going to Belize, Cozumel, Costa Maya and Grand Cayman.

Lord knows I need a break from my everyday. I'm thinking about going to the islands and losing my old self and returning a new woman....And no that doesn't mean I am going to pull a Stella and come back with some island negro.

What I need is a change. I'm not sure if I am coming out of my shell, but I would definitely like to make some changes to the shell I am in. Get rid of some folks...meet some new folks...shoot some old folks...you know that type of stuff. I don't know I guess I am really rambling right now...just thinking and writing it down.

Anywho...it will be great to say goodbye to Chicago and all the people in it...with a few exceptions...and say hello to island life for a good 9 days. I don't leave until November 12. So I guess I will have to endure until then. Hopefully I'll make it without killing anyone.

Don't you just love a good island breeze in the mad real world?

Your Wish Is My Command

2005-10-17T16:20:00.000-05:00

At the request of Dee-Dee here is another pic.This one gets me into a lot of trouble.

Close your eyes Mommie and Daddy.

I wouldn't want y'all to start thinking I am soft.

Trust me this is the last one in the mad real world.

A Little More Show and Tell...Part Two

2005-10-17T01:05:00.000-05:00

Thanx to you all for the interesting comments on that last picture. Apparently I look like everyone's cousin...lol

Actually in that picture I felt like I looked more like my sister than myself...But I like the pose in the last pic...Now my facial expression on this picture I like better than the pose so that is what I will show you...
I will share it even though it is not one of my favorites. I had to do a little editing, it was revealing a little more than I was willing to share...lol

Do I still look like Akila and JoAnn? Holla at me Grey2Green and Diva.

And special shout out to Hassan and Knockout Zed...I'm glad you guys eyes are in good working order and thanx for noticing that I have breasts. I sure as hell didn't...lol

This was a great idea Deeds.

Sharing is caring in the mad real world.

Let's Play A Game...Show and Tell

2005-10-16T00:20:00.000-05:00

I feel like my cover doesn't accurately describe my book. They say "don't judge a book by its cover," well this time I want you to.

What does this picture say to you, if anything?

Tell me the first 5 things that come to mind when you look at this picture. And be honest.

We gon' get down to the bottom of my problem in the mad real world.

Survey says...Its ANSWER Time!

2005-10-14T01:30:00.000-05:00

Alright I'm 'bout to spill the beans.

Knockout Zed asked...
Q: Are you Monie Love circa 1990?
A: Is that a hair question? If so, no my hair is not like Monie Love's 1990, it is not shaven on the sides. In the picture that is on my profile my hair is simply pulled up.

Tre asked...
Q: Would you have really gone out with the guy from the previous post?
A: I'm not 100% sure. I would have probably tried to hook him up with my mother. I would have found something to do with him though, for sure. I can't let that go to waste...lol.

Chubby Chocolate asked...
Q: What does your blog name mean?
A: My blog name is my real name and my middle initial together. My first name is Namelia (pronounced Nae-Mee-Lee-Ah) and my middle initial is R...put them together and you get NameLiar.

Knockout Zed asked...
Q: Have you ever fucked a homeless man?
A: Yes and his name was...HELL NAH I have never fucked the homeless.

Blk Silk asked...
Q: How old were you when you first "DID IT"?
A: I was a few months younger than I am now...lol...so the answer is 23.

Q: When was the last time you Got some?
A: About a month ago as well. It was a second dip with the guy I first "DID IT" with...lol.

Q: Do you use any "Ahem" Toys to relieve stress between the Escapades?
A: No not yet...lol. I am sure I will get to that in a minute...okay a minute has passed...lmao

Hassan asked...
Q: Have you ever had a homo-erotic moment/thought?
A: Yes, No well...I did think that scene in the movie Wild Things when they were having that threesome was hot...I'm not sure how homo that is, but I have never been turned on by a woman, no.

Q: What's the best/worst (usually the same thing) lie you ever told?
A: When I was younger I spent the night over a friends house, she was older than me, I was like seven...Anywho, she was wearing her mother's engagement ring and she let me wear it. We went to the store and to the park at one of those stops I lost the ring. I got scared, lied and said I left it in the house, it must be in the house somewhere. I knew it was out in the street somewhere but I said it was in the house...I still feel bad about that I'm going to buy that lady a diamond ring one of these days. But my question is why would you let kids wear your ring...duh!

Q: What is your most outlandish sexual escapade?
A: I don't have one...the closest I come to that is when I used to date my best friend my ex boyfriend of 2002. We used to be up in this house alone "play fighting" wrestling and hitting and kissing and touching and rubbing...anywho I like it rough...lol. I almost lost my virginity then but I made it to 2005.

Q: Have you ever had an STD?
A: No.

Q: Have you ever masturbated in public?
A: No, but I have wanted to pounce a few niggas in public. Pounce = fuck.

Q: When was the last time you stole something, and what was it/why/where?
A: The last thing I stole was a niggas heart...oh I'm sorry that is one of them pimp lines...I'm full of them. The last thing I stole was a comic book back when I was like 8 or 9. I wanted it really bad and my mother wouldn't buy it for me so I took it.

Q: What do you truly/honestly believe when it comes to God and spirituality?
A: I believe in God and his son Jesus Christ I don't like to say the Creator it confuses things. I could blog this all by itself. I'll save that for later.

Q: Why are you able to separate love/emotion from sex and are you able to attach the two in order to have what you want in a relationship?
A: Like Too Short say I don't love these hoes. I believe that at this point I am able to successfully separate sex and love because my heart is out to lunch. I believe that if you go into something not wanting to be attached and you don't invest any time in trying to be attached then you won't be attached. This is something I could blog on its own as well.

InsanelySane asked...
Q: If you liked women,, what woman would you want to be with?
A: This question is like asking me if I liked dog meat which dog would I prefer to eat, but I will answer it anyway. If I liked women I would want to be with myself. Watch how I toot my own horn. I'm intelligent, beautiful, caring, and I have hostile streak that only comes out on paper. What more could you ask for? <----That's how a pimp is supposed to answer. But if I had to pick a broad other than myself I guess I would pick someone like Angelina Jolie or Eva Longoria someone fabulous and different not yo average broad...lol

Knockout Zed asked...
Q: Have you ever had an orgasm and farted at the same time?
A: No. And Zed you are a trip man. You really came up with some questions.

Dee-Dee asked...
Q: If you could have sex with one famous person who would that be? And why?
A: Deeds that is easy Ving "Muthafuckin" Rhames. I love that man, he is intelligent, built nice and looks like he would break my young ass off something proper like. Could I sign up for that twice? Ooh and I would do Damon Dash. I like his little power hungry ass.

Q: Do you have feelings for any of your "friends" "Homies" and just don't want to say anything so not to ruin the friendship? If so who is it? (I do mean male friends/homies)
A: LOL @ "I do mean male friends/homies." At this point and time I don't have a crush on any of my male friends...I haven't had a crush since my ex 2002 who was my best male friend before he became my "boyfriend." There are a couple of cute guys at work but I wouldn't say I had a crush on them.

Q: Have you had any TACOS lately? LMAO!!!
A: Oh Deeds you are bogus for this only me, you, "Toni" and I think Teej know what that means. No I have not had any "tacos" lately. But when I was having that "taco" moment I do appreciate your kind words, you really talked me down from a ledge, sort to speak...lol

Well isn't it fun to share in the mad real world? I think I'll do this again some day.

Ask NameLiar

2005-10-12T10:50:00.000-05:00

I'm so out of ideas on what to write about so...I'm gonna bite from Dee-Dee. Its your time to find out whatever you want to know about NameLiar. And I ain't never scared so ask whatever your heart wants to know. I will be open and honest, brutally honest...lol...If I wasn't brutal I wouldn't be NameLiar, so bring it! I will answer all questions in my next post.

This should be interesting in the mad real world.

Watch How I Pimp...And Get Shutdown

2005-10-08T00:30:00.000-05:00

I was at the job doing what I do. Okay here's what I do. I play with DVDs, CDs, phones, video games, and radios all day. Mostly its just putting things back where they belong or putting up new things, every now and then I help a customer find something.

*Cue the sexy dude*

I'm in the horror section putting away the old Texas Chainsaw Massacre DVD not paying attention to anything, but the task at hand, and this man walks up to me without me even noticing. By the time I do notice him he's standing right beside me, very close, so close I thought it was someone I knew, like an old boyfriend. I turn and look at him, sort of, I saw the DVDs in his hand and my eyes stopped there as I listened to what he had to say.

"Excuse me could you help me find this in full frame?"
"Sure. Let me see if we have it?"

That's my new routine. I glance at the customer and then try and find what they are looking for as fast as humanly possible. So I still haven't looked at this man. I just run up to the computer and type in what he is looking for. I peck on the computer, it says we have 3. I head back in the direction of where I left the man with the Spider-man movie in his hand, I still had no real idea what he looked like at this point.

I'm walking down the main aisle toward the horror section where I left him and as I turn the corner I SEE him. For the first time I actually SEE this man. I stopped in my tracks and swallowed. He was 6'4" about 195lbs, late 40s maybe early 50s, caramel skin, goatee black with mingling gray hair, he was bald, smooth skin, beautiful smile...He looked like what I imagine Boris Kodjoe will look like in 15 to 20 years...wow.
I looked him in is eyes and smiled as I said, "It says we have 3 in the system, let's see if we can find them." I led him to the action section he is walking behind me, I thought to myself "Why can't I have a ghetto bootie like my momma? Why Lord?"
I get to where the other Spider-man movies are and I squat in front of them, they are on the bottom shelf, he is on the side of me about a foot away. I start thumbing through the movies...widescreen, widescreen, widescreen...as I'm thumbing I have another thought..."I wonder what he is thinking while I am squatting in front of him like this?" My mind immediately goes into the gutter, I smile....widescreen, widescreen, widescreen. I stop thumbing and look up at him, "It looks like we don't have it." So far it appears he is oblivious to what I have been thinking. Of course he is but I bet he wonders what I am smiling about.
He says, "Okay, thanx for the help."
I say, "No problem, let me know if you need help with anything else."
I walk off, he is walking behind me again, I can feel him, he is very close if I were to stop suddenly I am sure we would bump into each other, that wouldn't be so bad, but I don't stop I speed up and shake him off.

My manager asks me to help this dude with some phones. No problem I forget about the sexy dude who is old enough to be my daddy (lol...daddy...yeah..anywho) temporarily and I help out the other customer. When I return to the DVD section sexy is still there and then it hits me. The urge to know more about this man. I must find out. I've never had an urge to do this. NEVER!

I walk up to him. "Can I help you find something else?" He says, "Are you sure you can help me?" He smiles.
I'm thinking "Man I can help your fine ass out with a lot of shit, what do you need, I got you baby." Instead I said, "I'm pretty sure I can handle it, that's a yes by the way." I smile.
"Okay I'm looking for Barbershop, the first one."
I get it for him it was very close, so that only took a second and as I returned I looked at his left hand, no ring. I hand him the movie and ask anyway..."Are you married?"
"No."
"Do you have a girlfriend?"
"No."
"Interesting."
"Why is that interesting?"
"Because I am tempted to ask you for your number."
He smiles. I smile.
"Are you into younger women?"
"Baby I'm into all women, but how much younger, how old are you?"
(I'm thinking,"Baby? Yes, how many do you want? You sexy muthafucka") "I'm 23."
"Awe you are just a baby. You're too young." He smiles. I smile.

Damn, damn, damn, damn...I wish I had lied about my age, not that it would have worked most people think I am 19, he probably thought I was lying when I said 23.
"Well I hope you enjoy your movies and your weekend."
"Thank you, you too, I'll see you next time."
"Hopefully you will." He smiles. I smile and walk away. I didn't feel crushed, surprisingly, I thought I would. I mean in theory rejection is supposed to hurt but it didn't I just laughed at myself. I wondered what the hell got into me, I have NEVER in my life asked a man for his number...what the hell? But he was fine as hell...Oh well better luck next time.

Watch out there is a new NameLiar in the mad real world.

Its Just You...You Came In This World Alone

2005-10-06T00:01:00.000-05:00

Is it just me or is it when you have a problem in this life it is up to you to fix it? Where is the damn support in this world? You turn to your elders for knowledge and all they have is bullshit. There is no real guidance on this planet just riddles and hearsay. I'm angry and I want to spit in the face of those who have hurt me, punish them for having the guts to try and harm me.

This planet is nothing but a bunch of fools bumping into each other and as we enter each other's lives we cause pain to everyone we touch until finally our soul has had enough and we die or kill ourselves which ever happens first. The pain and anger I feel makes me want to lash out in a violent way. Pull out my dagger and slice the neck of those who get in my way as I walk off their lifeless body drops to the ground. When I hear the thud I want to smile and say to myself one less asshole on this planet.

I can feel the heat of the anger in me. I can feel the tension in my neck and shoulders. I can feel the hardening of my heart and I can hear the calculations, the sums, and products being figured in my brain. My next move is being decided and it is not looking good. If I make this move out of anger it could destroy me make my transformation complete. I can hear the emperor saying "Welcome to the darkside."

I'm stressed out, I need some gotdamn affection, I'm on my period and to top it all off I'm stuck in the house with a hollering kid that ain't even mine. Life is a fucking bitch. I'm just waiting to explode.

Yeah I know I've hit rock bottom don't be like me AimHigher in the mad real world.

NameLiar change the fucking music Erykah Badu singing "Love Of My Life" does not fit my mood.

Get Them Ducks In A Row

2005-10-05T14:25:00.000-05:00

I'm about to put myself on blast. My ducks are so not in a row. My shit is wack. The shit I am referring to is my "love" life. My so called love life isn't moving in any direction it is at a complete stand still. The crazy part though is that I have quite a few men on the roster but they are all sitting on the bench none of them are getting any game time. Check it.

Demond - My Ex 2005
This man is a trip. He dumped me in June...lol. I was upset but not crushed. I enjoyed the year we spent together but at the same time he wasn't giving me what I needed so I knew it wouldn't last forever even though on some levels I wanted it to. That is over and done with but he keeps calling and teasing me...He says shit to make a broad think he still wants her but the truth is he doesn't want my ass. He is just playing with me to make himself feel like, "yeah I could still have her ass if I wanted her." I know what the fuck he is doing and my dumbass still talks to him. I need to cut his ass off but for some reason I can't. That is a problem.

Jason-The Mute
This is the dude who calls me at 11 or 12 o'clock at night with absolutely nothing to say. Dude is straight looking for a booty call. Peep what he said to me yesterday on IM. He didn't say hi or how are you, he just came at me with...
Jason: When do you want me
NameLiar: What do you mean?
Jason: To lick you
NameLiar: You want me to give you a date and time?
Jason: Yeah
NameLiar: Its not that simple just because you got me a little hot that doesn't mean you are going to get a taste. (I let old boy kiss on me and hug on me one night...I don't know about you other women but every month before I surf the crimson wave I get extra horny so I allowed him to give me a little affection...Now he thinks he is doing something)
Jason: Why not?
*Y'all see this shit the muthafucka had the nerve to ask me why not....why not...because I said so you stupid muthafucka. I don't have to give your bitch ass a reason, that you asked why not is reason enough. I was nice though*
NameLiar: Because I would like to know someone on a deeper level before we move into the intimate.
Jason: I see
Yeah I hope you do see nigga.

Hassan-The Older Man
Hassan and I hmmm...first there is age difference he has a decade or so on me (sorry to put you on blast) but we still have a lot in common...except for when he starts reminiscing on records, excuse me bruh what are you talking about I wasn't even born or either I was 5 years old...lol We have went out several times and talk on the phone quite a bit but that's where it has stopped. I keep a certain amount of distance from him, a part of me wants a man/boyfriend but then there is this other part that wants to be a player. He says I act as if he is fragile, he is a grown ass man but at the same time I don't want to hurt him. I feel like I am a ticking time bomb but my display is broken so no one knows when I am going to explode. That is a problem.

David-The New Guy
This dude is cool I have no beef with him but at the same time I don't know him that well either. Anything could happen or go wrong with this fellow he is still somewhat of a mystery. He just gets an honorable mention.

Mike-The Whiteboy
This dude is hot. I'm talking Brad Pitt Jr hot. I have a huge crush on him but at the same time I won't let him touch me with a ten foot pole because I know I could turn into a straight up sucka for this dude. He is a ten on the sexy meter but I just crave him sexually I don't think we have much in common. I could play with him for a minute tho'...but that's not good. That's a problem.

Okay those are the main characters but there are other little side dudes who I don't pay much attention to but hell I don't even know why I wrote all of this shit out...I just needed to get it out of my brain...Maybe I will figure out a purpose for this post, until then...this is my drama.

Attention please...I know the line is long but if you'll be patient we will get to you in the mad real world.

My Kind Of Town....Chicago Is (Part One)

2005-10-04T14:30:00.000-05:00

I was sitting on the "L" (Chicago term for subway/train that travels throughout the city) and two out of towners were talking. I was ease dropping, which isn't hard on the "L", turns out they were college students from Louisiana who had been relocated to DePaul University here in the city. They were talking about how much they were enjoying the city.

Now that is what I like to hear people enjoying the city. I love this city, so they have prompted me to write...

AN INSIDERS GUIDE TO CHICAGO...
The Truth, The Whole Truth, And Nothing But The Truth

Let start with one of my favorite subjects...FOOD

I'm sure you have heard of Chicago-Style Hot Dogs or Chicago Deep Dish Pizza but have you ever heard of an Italian Beef?

An Italian Beef is a sandwich which is comprised of French bread, hot peppers, sweet peppers or bell peppers which ever you prefer and thinly sliced roast beef that has been cooked in its own juices and Italian seasonings for God only knows how many hours. Now the key to this sandwich is having it dipped, which means dipping the bread into the meat's juices this makes the bread slightly soggy and it tastes great. It's like a billion calories but its one reason why Chicago is my kind of town.

My fellow Chicagoans who has the best Italian Beef?

By the way the picture on the left is the way they want you to think an Italian Beef looks the picture on the right is the real deal.

If you don't know better you can't AimHigher, in the mad real world.

What A Dumbass...Don't Call Me I'll Call You

2005-09-29T23:10:00.000-05:00

I was lying in my bed resting, watching the Bernie Mac Show. I was half asleep. The phone rings. *RING, RING* I answer it.
A male voice says, "Can I speak to NameLiar?"
"This is she."
"Why you didn't call me today?"
"I just got in the house, not to long ago." *thinking...muthafucka I must didn't want to talk*
"Oh. So what you doing?"
"Nothing, in the bed."
"Oh...(long pause)...
*I start whistling in my head, thinking well nigga what?*
Well I just wanted to see what you were up to."
"I ain't doing nothing."
*Silence*
"Well I ain't really got nothing to talk about I have to go to work tomorrow."
"Oh okay I just wanted to see what you were doing. *You said that already* Aye matter of fact let me call you back."
"Sure." *rolling my eyes*
I hang up.

What the hell was all of that about, the nigga called me and had absolutely nothing to talk about. Don't call me with absolutely nothing and then think that I am going to fill in the blanks. Have at least one topic to discuss. Hell even when I am in flutter mode and I just want to hear a nigga's voice I stop myself and come up with a least 3 things to talk about so as to not make it obvious that I just want to hear him breathe. Good grief man.

I hate when people call me and don't have shit to say, just on the phone breathing...say something you dumb muthafucka. Damn mute ass niggas wanna call you in the middle of the night and use your voice to help them have a good nights sleep. You ain't getting no wet dreams off of my voice tonight...I ain't finna say shit if you ain't got shit to say. You are on your own. Goodnight.

Then again the brother couldn't resist the power of this pimp in the mad real world.

Well I'll Be Damned...Here We Go Again.

2005-09-26T16:30:00.000-05:00

They are trying to turn me into a bitch.
This big broad at work was giving me the evil eye. She works at the customer service desk. I walk up to the customer service desk and she was on the phone...talking to her mother. I'm standing there like an idiot waiting on her to acknowledge my ass and she just keeps on talking on the phone. Then she gave me the "this bitch" look. Y'all know that look, that examined look, that measuring look. I was like, "Ah HELL nah!" Why me Lord?

Due to my passive aggressive nature I am probably the sweetest person you would want to meet except when I am typing some hostile shit that I should have said to some nasty mofo. Even tho' lately the hostile shit has been slipping out. The point being I did not have an attitude when I walked up to the desk. I had a big smile on my face. She was probably thinking, "what is this bitch so happy about?" At least that is how she was looking at me. So after standing there for a minute, I interrupted her phone call and asked her where was Sonia, that's who I was looking for not her fat unhappy ass.

Anyway, don't you hate when you are standing somewhere...work, store, whatever...and the person who you are trying to ask a question is totally not paying you any attention, like you just want to be standing there. That is one of my pet peeves...(I knew I had some but I couldn't think of any when I read your post the other week Echo)...I wanted to punch that broad.

I think it will definitely be interesting working with her...I'll keep y'all up to date on her ass and my level of aggravation with her.

Don't hate me because I am beautiful in the mad real world.

It's Finally Over...Bye, Bye Babyshower

2005-09-25T22:20:00.000-05:00

I made it through that blasted baby shower without killing anyone. I must say that it went well. It was a little bumpy at first.

MY "BUDDY"
The buddy who was on decorations and cake duty showed up 40 minutes late. We were supposed to start decorating at 3:00. The shower started at 4 she got there at 4:40. At 3:00 I was cool. At 3:30 I got nervous. At 4:00 I started sweating. At 4:30 I was pissed. When she did finally arrive I was tempted to be nasty but I didn't act up or show my ass, I was just relieved. She is always late though...lol. I have never known her to be on time except for when she is going to work and sometimes that is shaky.

MY MOTHER
I put my mother in charge of the games. She is so much more vocal than I. She usually coordinates all the parties. She let me throw this one because she knew it would be crazy to plan for. I asked her during the planning stages how come she wasn't helping or backing me up, all she said was, "I worked with these people before and I'm not touching it." I was able to get her to do the games so for that I was happy, I let her do her thang. She did a great job...not a surprise there.

MS. HOOVER
Ms. Hoover brought her money to my house Thursday...great right...No...She was 10 bux short, typical. She just couldn't do things completely right, she had to do something wrong. Ms. Hoover didn't come to the baby shower....Whoopi! That's right her ass didn't even come. Somebody should throw a party just for that. I didn't have to see her punk ass, as a matter of fact I haven't seen her ass since the first baby shower planning meeting. Oh well...lol

THE SISTERS FROM HELL
Toni's "sisters" showed up like 2 and a half hours late. That didn't bother me...I just looked at their ugly asses like they were pitiful. The funny part was Dee-Dee knew who they were without me saying anything and they look nothing like Toni. Them bitches couldn't say nothing bad the joint was decorated nicely and the food was good. Even tho' I don't think there was any chicken left when they got there, oh well bitches, eat the fish. LOL

Basically it was a good time had by all and I even managed to enjoy myself in the process of making everybody else happy. So the baby shower drama has a happy ending.

I can't wait to see what happens when one of us gets married in the mad real world.

O'so Krispie...I Think Not!

2005-09-21T11:30:00.000-05:00

Has anyone been watching the UPN show "R U The Girl? with T-Boz and Chilli" from TLC? If you haven't I'll give you the basic principles of the show. As we all know Lisa "Left-Eye" Lopez the third member of TLC died in a car crash in 2002. Her bandmates decided this year to look for a rapper to join their group. UPN gave them a show by which to do so.

They went all over the country looking for broads. They hit New York, Los Angeles, and Miami. Now this is when the conspiracy began. O'so Krispie (the winner of the show) did not have to audition with the other women. They just picked her to come to the house in Atlanta off top. I should have known then that they had her picked. She is from Atlanta which is their (TLC's) hometown...how convenient.

Anywho...the woman who should have won is...Mirrah.

Let me tell you the stats on Mirrah. She is 30 year old married woman from Westchester California. She is a poet, rapper, singer, and she can dance. She is very good spirited, very soulful and easy to get along with. There was only one problem she reminded T-Boz and Chilli of Left-Eye.

Someone asked me why do you even want her to win she is not even from here. True Mirrah is originally from Australia, but so what, I like her character. She is original, not a copy of every other weak lyric female rapper that is apart of the mainstream. I hate average ass people who copy others, do something different you weak minded fucks.I was a big fan of TLC...womp, womp...I watched the concert they did last night and they looked like some old geriatrics dancing...Sit down grandma's. Throughout the show they kept saying you guys are going to have to be able to keep up with us while we are on tour. Their moves were weak and tired. I was so disappointed. They were all over the place. It was sloppy as hell. I still got love for them but I won't be going to see them in concert anytime soon...I'll pass.

Anywho, this post is dedicated to Mirrah...she stayed positive throughout the entire process while the other chicks were talking about each other and being nasty she stayed polite and calm and for that she has my respect and my vote. Fuck what the rest have to say. She should have won.I swear it is hot in here.

The bullshit never stops in the mad real world.

The Assassination Of Ms. Hoover

2005-09-20T18:07:00.000-05:00

Ms. Hoover ain't showed her money hungry face. We had one of the final baby shower meetings today. Ms. Hoover was supposed to drop 150 bux on me. I have yet to see or hear from Hoover. Just as I said, her punk ass has backed out. Toni and I had a good laugh when I told her that Ms. Hoover didn't show. Its 6:07 p.m. if Hoover don't drop off some dust (money) before this baby shower she bet' not show up or she gon' get hurt.

Boy is it just me or is it hot up in here.

4 days until the baby shower.

Does the term catfight ring a bell in the mad real world?

Let The Countdown Begin...Tic, Tic, Tic

2005-09-18T22:00:00.000-05:00

*NameLiar pulls out bullhorn*

PEOPLE THERE ARE 6 DAYS LEFT UNTIL THE BABY SHOWER.

*someone in the background shouts* What? Only 6 days.

HELL YEAH, ONLY 6 DAYS!

Okay only 6 days left. I'm not sweating though, I have the restaurant secure, even though I only paid for 50 people to eat, but that's cool because only 30 people called to RSVP. If more than 50 people come and we run out of food, which I doubt, I can give them the this is what happens when you don't RSVP speech. So the restuarant and the food get the "DONE" stamp.

Alright that is the only thing I can stamp at this point. Which makes me a little nervous.

One of my homegirls, who shall remain nameless, the chick from Liar, Liar Pants On Fire she is supposed to be on cake and decorations duty. That's simple enough there is only one problem she is not talking to me. That's right people she is giving me the silent treatment. I have left her a message 4 out of the 7 days last week. Now I don't like to stalk people, if you don't want to talk fine, but we are trying to throw a successful baby shower here. I need to know if she has secured the cake and does she have enough money to get the decorations. I call and I get nothing but the voicemail. She calls Toni and asks her questions but refuses to call me, so Toni has to be the middleman....nothing will be a surprise to Toni she knows everything that is going on with the shower. Thanx a lot "homie." Her petty ass...oooh I swear.

Last I heard, from Toni, my "homie" was getting a cake that was half Red Velvet, half German Chocolate. Okay I don't know about y'all but I DON'T EAT NEITHER ONE OF THEM MUTHAFUCKAS and I know a lot of people don't eat that shit either. (No offense to those of you that do enjoy any one of those cakes). You are supposed to keep it simple when feeding the masses and if you are not going to keep it simple then at least have variety, throw a plain cake in there too. Cake and decorations...no stamp!

Ms. Hoover is suppose to give me the rest of her money for the restaurant on Tuesday. I can cover the restaurant alone but we agreed to split the bill three ways, only 2 ways have been covered. I just learned that her car has broken down so we all know what that means...she ain't gon' have it. How fucking convient. Hoover bet not be playing around or I am going to jack her ass up. Run me my money, trick. She gon' mess around and get cussed out. She has yet to call me and say, "I don't have the money," so maybe I am jumping the gun a bit. We will know whats up Tuesday. Rest of the money...no stamp!

Well at least I know what has to be done in the mad real world.

Thanks A Lot...Kisses For Everyone!

2005-09-17T10:25:00.000-05:00

Thanx everyone for the words of encouragement on my To Hell With It All Post. I feel more powerful than ever. Your words have sent a surge of positive energy throughout my soul which have uplifted me out of my slum and onto fertile grounds. I have a job interview today, hopefully I'll get the job but if I don't there will be others. Thanks again.

I don't see any stars in this telescope, AimHigher, and look again in the mad real world.

"You Are On My List" Part One

2005-09-16T12:30:00.000-05:00

Here are my current funny women of television and film. Every time these broads show up I start laughing.

When this woman showed up in the movie Beauty Shop she tripped me out. She walked into the salon which was located in Atlanta, Georgia and said, "Wooo, its hotter than a jalapeno's coochie out there." I swear I almost hit the floor. "Its hotter than a jalapeno's coochie," who says that shit? Nobody but Adele Givens. From playing nurse Johnson on the TV show Martin to playing Tricks in the major motion picture The Players Club this Chicago native has had me rolling for years. As a Queen of Comedy she taught us the value of a name. "I have a friend named Alexis who should have been named A-Buick." For her crazy appearances in my favorite shows and her hilarious stand up routines I deem Adele Givens worthy of being "On My List."

This broad is crazy as hell. If you have ever seen her stop by on the Ellen show you know this to be true. Leah Remini co-star of The King of Queens is a crazy ass trash talking chick. She is a black woman trapped in a white woman's body. She is real gritty and down to earth while being ranked #19 in Stuff magazine's "102 Sexiest Women in the World." I first recall seeing Leah in Saved By The Bell. She played Stacey Kirosey in the summer episodes when Zack and the gang worked at a resort. She had a "smart ass" tone then and it is even worse now. As you all know I like a little trash talking and she does it with the best and manages to make it funny. For her Brooklyn based trash talking I deem Leah Remini worthy of being "On My List."

Alright now y'all know this woman. I really don't have to say much about her. This woman has played everybody's Momma. She has played the mother or mother figure in the following movies and TV shows: What's Love Got To Do With It?, Poetic Justice, Meteor Man, The Temptations, The Little Richard Story, Juwanna Man, The Brothers, The Preachers Wife, Nora's Hair Salon, Girlfriends, The Jamie Foxx Show, and Dead Presidents. Now those are only the movies and shows that I can recall I'm sure there are more. She is loud and sometimes abrasive and I love it. I got the quote, "You are on my list" from her. That was her tag line in a Different World when she played Dean Davenport. If you were caught misbehaving or doing something suspicious you ended up on her hit list. For being everyone's no nonsense Momma I deem Jenifer Lewis worthy of being "On My List."

If you didn't know them now you do. What women make you laugh in the mad real world?

To Hell With It All...As the tears run down my face.

2005-09-15T01:50:00.000-05:00

I'm seriously considering abandoning my home. There are to many people watching me, anticipating my next move. "What will she do next?" they are all saying. I don't have an answer to that question. "But she's so smart why isn't she....?" I don't have an answer to that question either.

It seems like everyone is in agreement that my life isn't productive enough. Last night my mother said she was disappointed that I haven't done more by now. I don't have an answer to why I haven't done more or accomplished more. As the oldest it appears that I am supposed to be all knowing and be a trailblazer. I guess my trail hasn't blazed far enough. They say I should have been born last. I am the last to do everything. Why wasn't I born last?

If I had somewhere to go I would walk out of this house right now. I'm tired of everyone saying that I am contrastive, different. I am a failure here, a waste. I am seriously considering living with my father for a while until I can get on my feet but I'm not sure if I want to open that box. It would get me out of this city. A city that I love so much but it seems to be doing me no good. California might offer a good change.

I have no direction, no motivation, I wish I could find a reason to why this is. I wish I had something to blame it on, an excuse, an out. I have nothing. Its just me being me. I want to isolate myself from them. I need to remove them from my mind and make a move in a direction. What will I do? I haven't the first clue. Tomorrow is a new day I need to remember to treat it that way.

You want to reach the top then go for the stars you can't AimHigher in the mad real world.

Gone.

2005-09-13T21:00:00.000-05:00

My brain is out to lunch.
I have writers block. I got nothing its all GONE maybe AimHigher has something for y'all. Until then..."death is but a door, time is only a window, I'll be back." I bet no one knows what movie that quote came from.

In the meantime, I'd bang Justin and JC from N*Sync in the mad real world.

P.S. Don't you like how I said bang...lmao!

LOVE. The Topic That Brings Titans To Their Knees

2005-09-11T19:00:00.000-05:00

Love: A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.

LOVE is being misrepresented. I've mistaken what I was feeling for LOVE. It was supreme infatuation not LOVE. What is LOVE? I can't answer that right now. I can, however, tell you what I thought it was. I thought LOVE was acceptance and familiarity. The love that I experienced was only temporary. It hurt and became frustrating at times. This form of "love" turned on me made a fool out of me. This love turns intellectuals into moronic, gullible, simple-minded, and short-sighted people. What purpose does that serve? I don't want that anymore. I want LOVE.

I'm in no need for love
Stretched this sister more than a mile
It's not for me because
There's no trust in love, so I'm restin' a while
How could you do me this way, love?
I can recall how you made me smile
And I don't have time to play with ya
If I see you, make it worth my time
Until then
I'm done...loving.

No need for love
Unless its Mr. Right
And only because
Mixin' lust with love leads to a fight
Cuz there will be dues to pay
And most of all many sleepless nights
But that won't be today, no
Guess I'll see ya love, its been nice
Until then
I'm done...loving

If you're looking for me, I'm done
Just a vacancy
Love don't live here anymore.

Bye, bye old love.

No don't AimHigher you hit the target with this one in the mad real world.

Rick James...Lawd Have Mercy

2005-09-10T13:15:00.000-05:00

Okay I wanted to add a little music to my page...so I asked my girl (thanx) she gave me the info. I go over to Videocodezone.com and who do I find? The old boy, Rick James. Now don't get me wrong I luv some of Rick James funky grooves but this video for "Give It To Me," just tripped me out. Check him out in the speedos towards the end y'all. I almost fell out of my chair when I saw that. Damn put some trunks on Rick...LMAO!! Click here to view the video.

Rest In Peace.
You know he kept Motown alive after the Jacksons and Temptations left in the mad real world.

Have You Ever?

2005-09-10T02:30:00.000-05:00

Have you ever wondered about someone...What they were thinking...What their life is like? Well if you have ever wondered about me, wonder no more...I'm going to tell you everything right now.

Right now its 1:50am. I can't sleep. HE is on my mind. I didn't want to be "selected" or up for "selection" so my girls went on without me.
Selected: being chosen or picked up by a man; as in being selected out of the crowd.
I'm in the house and all is quiet. There was an argument going on down the street. It has stopped now. All I hear is the chirp of crickets and the occasional passing car.

I feel like making another "move," completely out of character, something unscripted and unforeseen by the average person. The option to make that move gives me power, it gives me a choice. I can make my own decisions and take my destiny into my own hands. This is my life to live or so it appears.

Sometimes I wish I couldn't see bullshit coming from a mile away. If I was naive I could relax and enjoy the bullshit while it lasted. Ignorance is bliss. I need that ignorant pill that everyone seems to be taking. They aren't right. I know it from the moment they speak to me face to face. When I look into their eyes I see it floating around...pure bullshit. They want what I got and they want to trick me out of it instead of asking for it. That won't work. He got it, but he wasn't HE.

He thinks I want him. I don't want him, I want HIM. There is a BIG difference. Losing HIM still hurts, I forget about the pain but then it comes back. HE doesn't want me anymore, especially since I was with him. I don't want much just to hold and talk to HIM. HE won't let me, won't come near me. I think its because of her.

HE hit me in the heart I wish HE'd AimHigher this hurts in the mad real world.

They Ought To Hang Me

2005-09-09T14:20:00.000-05:00

Toni (my best friend as you all know by now, an upstanding member of the SBC) sent me some pictures of her baby boy. This is why I ought to be hung...pay attention. Her baby, my godson, looks exactly like his father. How nice right...wrong...his father is ugly as hell. My girl is drop dead gorgeous on the other hand, but she picks out the ugliest men. This dude, her "baby's daddy" (I know you hate that term, but I had to use it) has a big fucking head its like the size of a watermelon, raggedy ass braids, and long ass face...okay you know what let me just stop. I am making myself sick just thinking about him. Gross...God only knows how she could sleep with that dude. I would've chosen death before I let him touch me and to top it all off he has a fucked up attitude to match. If you paid attention you noticed I called my godson ugly on the sneak. I should be hung. Fuck it...I don't even know why I blogged this.

Does anybody have a blind fold in the mad real world?

The SBC (Stupid Broads Club) is now accepting new members.

2005-09-08T00:01:00.000-05:00

This is a NameLiar and AimHigher collaboration.

Welcome to the SBC, the Stupid Broads Club Inc.

Do you or someone you know meet the requirements to join? Read the qualifications we are actively seeking new members. Please don't be afraid to apply.

Do you dis (dismiss) your girls at the mere thought, inkling, idea, potential, possibility that your no good man might call or come by? Does the saying you ain't got to go home, but you got to get the hell out of here ring a bell, when he calls?
Do you hang out with your friends only because your no good man isn't available?
Are you Dick-no-tized? Dick-no-tized: in a state of hypnosis by the dick, the penis, the male member.
Are you able to find the cure for AIDS, become a brain surgeon, or perform major miracles on your no good man's behalf, but if one of your friends has a common cold they are as good as dead because you don't care, they are not your man?
Do you spend bill money on your no good man and then ask to borrow money from your friends to pay said bills?
Do you act oblivious to your friends growing concern about your scandalous relationship with your no good man?
Can you always give expert advice to your friends on how to deal with their relationships but are clueless when it comes to your no good man?
Have you gone from virgin sex (simple sex) to straight back alley street whore circus tricks sex for a no good man?
When you are on the phone and the other line "beeps," do you just click over and answer the other line without saying hold on hoping that it is your no good man? Or even worse do you hang up instead of saying hold on?
Have you gone from slob to suburban housewife? Do you find yourself running errands for your no good man? Have you cleaned his house? Do you wash his clothes? Are you now a chauffeur to him and or his children?

If you answered yes to MORE THAN ONE of these questions and you have the required no good man then you are a prefect candidate for The Stupid Broads Club. If you are not sure if you have a no good man just answer this question honestly...Does your man treat you like shit? If you answered yes then you have a no good man...(I'd like to refer to him as a nigga but AimHigher won't let me.)
If you answered yes to ALL of these questions then you qualify for an administrative position in the SBC. Check the Administrative box if you are interested in one of the open positions.

Dang AimHigher look at those new members line up. Yeah its a shame NameLiar, keep it movin' in the mad real world.

These Broads Need To Quit

2005-09-07T00:40:00.000-05:00

This baby shower shit is out of control. (Warning the word bitch will be used quite often in this post. I normally try not to call females that but it is very fitting. I apologize now.)

My best friend Toni came by my house last night and informed me that she talked to her Sisters from hell. One of them hoes has the nerve to be mad she is not throwing the baby shower. Man let me tell you what this bitch said...Yeah I called her bitch because she truly is one.

The Spawn of Satan: You know I wanted to throw your baby shower.
Toni: Yeah I know but its out of my hands.
The Spawn of Satan: Well I hope it's nice... and I hope the food isn't nasty.

Bitch! You "hope the food isn't nasty." This broke ass bitch always has something smart to say. She can never just be happy for her sister. I want to do something really evil like put the wrong address or time on her invitation so she or her raggedy ass sisters won't even be there. I swear if this broad even looks at me funny I am gonna jump across a table and bash her head into a plate of greens. I hope you find a hair in your food you flat footed hooker. I hope her car runs out of gas on the expressway and she can't make it. I want to catch her in the bathroom of the restaurant and put her face through one of the mirrors.

Wooo...I feel better. Well as you can see I want to do something really violent to that bitch. I'll keep you posted.

17 Days left till the baby shower.

How many years does assault and battery get you in the mad real world?

Deja Vu...My Way

2005-09-06T12:59:00.000-05:00

Deja Vu: The illusion of having already experienced something actually being experienced for the first time.

I was chatting with a friend of mine the other night and she says to me, "This is Deja Vu AimHigher I swear...I did this before I promise." That got me to thinking, which is a dangerous pass time, I know, but what if the experience of Deja Vu is really the way life lets us know that we are on the right path?

In other words, having a Deja Vu experience is the equivalent to a mile marker. Every time you have one (the experience) you are passing a designated checkpoint in your life. What if the experience is a guide, a map given by God to let you know that he knew what you were going to do before you did it. If so, then Deja Vu would be the design of destiny revealed in miniature segments.

Just a thought, my induction dissertation into the Mad Real World. I'm glad to be here thanx Nameliar.

Peace, Love, and Positive Progression

You missed the basket you must AimHigher in the mad real world.

24,02,39,41,13,..BINGO! No Its Random Thoughts?

2005-09-05T03:40:00.000-05:00

I refuse to copy my cousin Teej and do a random thought "list." So I will put my own spin on it and do Random Ass Paragraphs. Each paragraph will reveal a portion of life Nameliar style.

I hate (I know its wrong to hate) my best friend's baby daddy. I saw him the other night and I wanted to spit on him. The no good bastard has her playing chauffeur lately. Every time I see him I think of ways to get rid of him. Can I borrow a gun?

I'll never drink more than two Long Island Ice Teas. The second one had me feeling a little funny. I was just giggling like an idiot...so not attractive, but I guess its better than being a sad or mad drunk. I think people fake being drunk. They have a drink and then say, "woo I'm tipsy, now I can do all the things I've ever wanted to do, (be a hoe) cause I'm drunk." So fake. My ass was seated the entire time I was at the club, drink or no drink....until a steppas cut comes on...lol

I need to find a male stepping partner or create one. I need to teach some dude how to step so I can drag him out on the dance floor. I'm tired of leading, I want to do some of them fly turns I be creating (more like stealing, from other dance styles). It seems like dudes who can "footwork" (Chicago dance) can't step. I need me a smooth dancer not some fake ass fast freddy.

I had fun this weekend. This weekend broke up the trifiling week I had. I should visit arcades more often. *HUGE SMILE & WINK*. I play video games a lot I just don't go to arcades. I should go to Dave and Buster's downtown, have two long island ice teas and then try to play a game. When I see a Mrs. Pacman machine or any video game in a restuarant I am tempted to play no matter who I am with...on a date, by myself, with the Da Crew....it doesn't matter I wanna play, but I don't...Well at least not all the time.

Am I young? I mean I have only been on this earth for 23 years but I feel like my brain is wired like a woman in her thirties. Once when I was kicking with this older crowd(as I tend to do) I saw a group of my peers(folks in their 20's) and I thought to myself, "Hmmm, am I trying to be to old for my age?" Its been like this for as long as I can remember always kickin' it with the older kids...lol Maybe my brain will halt at 30 until my age catches up. Then again I don't want to be stuck. I want to keep on growing. Hell, but I don't want to be old. Damn my mother is getting old and she is slowly dragging me with her.

I know my pops is salty I didn't call him or my little brother for their birthdays. I was thinking about them around their birthday but still when the day came, I forgot to call. I'm mad at him though. "Great anger you have yes?" Yeah Master Yoda I'm pissed like a mug at his ass. So unfather-like, so uninvolved in my everyday life. I should reach out to my little brother but I don't. I'm the oldest...I know but I don't. Stubborn is the word that comes to mind.

All my sisters have boyfriends. I'm such a hater. This is the first time in life when all three of them have a man and I am without. I'm not saying that I always have a man but usually at least one of them is with me on the manless boat. My ass is Rose without Jack (Titanic reference) Am I gonna drown then? My middle name is Rose...I hate it. Never call me that.

If I had to place myself in a musical category it would be Neo-Soul/R&B. Would I have to cut off my curly afro and give up my Neo-Soul if I dated a white guy? Does all of the black power just drain out of you when you kiss the lips of whitey? I guess if you are kissing whitey then you shouldn't refer to him as whitey huh? Well I ain't kissed whitey yet...lol

I ain't been to church in a minute. I feel like hearing a choir "sang." I feel like Shug Avery when she was at Harpo's Juke Joint and she heard the church music/singing in the distance right as she was about to blow out "Sista" aka "Miss Celie's Blues" she turned to the musicians at the Juke Joint and was like, "Speak Lawd, speak to me..." Y'all know the rest...and if you don't know that's a Color Purple (Movie) reference, then you ain't watched it enough. I'll let you borrow the dvd.

Its funny how some guys leave a trail of memories in your mind and others you can barely remember. My sister mentioned this guy I dated a long while ago and I was like, "Who?...Oh yeah I forgot about him."

Can someone ship me Ving Rhames on a platter. I love his thick ass. He be running around with his ass out (Baby Boy) and straight tonguing broads (Rosewood) in these movies. Man if I was on the set of either film it would have went something like this...
Director: "Cut"
Nameliar to Ving after kissing scene: "Yes, thank you, please may I have another."
Notice how Ving didn't get a word in.

Share and share alike in the mad real world.

I Don't Know Shit About Planning A Baby Shower, but I know this

2005-09-01T13:02:00.000-05:00

My bestfriend Toni had a baby. He came three months early. I decide that since he has to stay in the hospital for three months that we will just go on and have the baby shower as planned in September. I heard bullshit because of that...I didn't care, kiss my ass I'm throwing this thing so shut up.

There was an uprising. My best friend has 5 sisters who she hardly ever sees (my sisters and I are more like her sisters and she gets angry when I tell anybody she is my best friend and not my sister). Anyway, three of her five blood sisters want to throw the baby shower. I laughed.

Toni (my best friend) was hospitalized for two weeks before her son was born. The doctors were trying to keep him in there (womb) by keeping her on extreme bedrest, but he came out anyway...lol. While she was there none of her sisters came to see her. I hate to toot my own horn but I was there every other day, all day, keeping her company. (Hell I'm an artist my paints travel) She would have these strange cravings for this fried dough ish from Navy Pier and since I don't drive I would walk my ass over there (she was at Northwestern in downtown Chicago so it wasn't that far) or I would sneak her some shit from the "Taste" but that's my homie so it was no big deal, she still trippin' that I did that every other day.

Anywho, these bitches want to pop up out of the blue and throw some ish. They don't come to family functions, dis their pops on his birthday, and they dissed Toni on hers, now they want to get all sisterly and throw a baby shower. I straight had to tell them hoes "Jump back bitches I'm running this show."

Now, in addition to them broads Toni's mother's friend wants to throw the shower. Notice how I said her momma's friend. We don't kick it with this lady. Let me tell you her story. Toni's family has a little cash flow, this lady is broke as hell (hmm she needs a name...let me think....Sister Leech, Sister Con, Sister Broke Ass, Miss Hoover...suckin' up money like a vacuum...yeah I like that) Miss Hoover's ass be taking Toni's momma for all she's got. Luckily she (Toni's Mom) isn't in control of all of the finances because they would be broke as hell with Miss Hoover around. Everytime I turn around they loaning this lady some money for something or either this chick is selling some shit to them.

Why just last Saturday I went with Toni's mother (Ma) to Miss Hoover's apartment and she sold Ma a 5 piece dining room set for $60. I know y'all are thinking sounds like a deal to me but it isn't. Miss Hoover only paid 50 cents for it. She got it from an old white lady at a church rummage sale. I was like damn Hoover strikes again. Anyway, I figured out that she wants to throw the baby shower so that she can stay in Ma's good graces. I laughed at her ass too. Bitch please, I see yo ass...I know what you are up to. I straight told Ma, "Ain't nobody who ain't went to the hospital to visit the baby they so love and want to throw a baby shower for is trumpin' me on this one." So Miss Hoover and the Sisters from Hell can sit the fuck down.

Ma, however, did make me agree to let them help...darn...I respect Ma..so okay..I'll let them help...shoot!

23 days until the shower.

This is just the beginning of this drama in the mad real world.

Hey Fat Ass...Its Called The Customer Is Always Right!

2005-08-30T02:30:00.000-05:00

Man...there is this restaurant around my house...okay that's a lie... there is this shack around my house that sales food. That place is so not a restaurant...anyway they only sale chicken, pizza puffs and french fries, nice combo I know, anywho the chicken is kind of high priced so every time my best friend and I go in there we buy pizza puffs. Only once we bought chicken and it was alright (on the chicken tip I prefer Coleman's or Joe's...its a Westside thang).

Monday Night

We went to "Da Shack" to get some pizza puffs, I will admit that they are good and cheap as hell but the fat ass dude up in there be trippin'. I guess his ass is the owner, he is always in there taking and fixing the orders, or maybe he is the owners dead beat brother or some ish. Now I'm gonna tell you something about me and my best friend Toni. Whenever we order from a restaurant no matter where it is we are always very polite to the people making the food. I don't want nothing suspicious happenin' to my food if you know what I mean. So I am always on some, "Yes please" or "Thank you so much" ish.

This big black bear-rilla in this joint though is rude as hell. We order 2 pizza puffs and this muthafucka walks off mumbling, "That's all anybody ever wants is pizza puffs, pizza puffs." Toni and I look at each other like, "What the fuck?" Okay we brush that shit off. Our order is up, so Toni asks for some more ketchup on her fries followed by a traditional please. King Kong mumbles some mo' shit..."Would you like a straw with that?" Okay at this point I am not a happy camper. That mighty Joe Young lookin' fucker was working my nerves. (Okay normally I don't use monkey references to describe the Black male but this dude looked like a gorilla...I'm sorry, it wouldn't matter what race or color he was...he was just big and animal like). I walked out that joint vowing to never go back again.

The point is how in the hell is old boy gon' get mad at us for liking one particular thang on the menu. Its not my fault that his chicken ain't hittin' on nothing. Where is the appreciation for even stopping by and showing some support. I could've just as easily stopped at the Arab joint round the corner or across the street for that matter but no I wanted to support the Black owned business. And what do I get in return a nasty ass attitude. Now I see why people come into those little fast food joints and say shit like, "Hey muthafucka, give me a umm gyro with cheese and don't be skimpy on the fries or Imma fuck you up." I used to think wow is that really necessary. I guess so in some joints. Maybe I will try that tactic with the Grinch who hates the pizza puffs.

Watch out, that grease is hot in the mad real world.